poetry kool-aid

1 February 2017

the immature poet(ess)
clawed to know
the moment directly
before – before the world
is skinned, realisation
of a flaying’s cusp
that as yet, she could not
conceive of.


before i curl out a line,
i have already censored
not for good, nor merit
but for presage. is omen
subterfuge or are we
mostly hearing –
i would say ‘deaf’
but those whose speech
is choreographic
are probably more attuned
to seeing a prophecy
fractally bloom. in hindsight
i feel the omens so round
about me, more real than a town
of mourners, transitory
– more pert
and fresh than fermenting.
years on.


in an alpine hotel lounge at new year’s,
of dated interior yet prices
adapted to so far above
sea level, we requested cups
of hot water from a barman
who disdained our tea ruse.
i wrote her a december
gift, birthday and christmas
(she understood the artistic
was not always instantaneous,
more like our earl grey suffusing)
a central motif beginning –


“i.
(rem)embers,
your defiant trails
even in the dusk
of coats unincarnate
and over the quilt that lays
still, without our heads
brought close
above (the source –
yours’)

in the flat expanse of hours
i find their number in tender
embers

though we must,
i suppose
work – crave, crave
your element be.”


this became her euology, less than
24 months later. at dias,
i wondered how i had wrote
such words and not seen
farewell.


i confess, though it is not literary
though maybe it does truly
make me a poet
or an off-kilter one
(i’ve really drank the kool-aid):

i confess
an intricate adhesion
of meaning, of signs and
suture ties where you’d
never guess collusion.
does obsessive-compulsive disorder
ever give up its narrative, go home?
does the herringbone
mind, underlaid for poetry,
really have primacy? i worry less that i am creative
of tragedy, but my failing indicative –
supernova omen
descend, an unheeded
presage. i confess
to brewing and imbibing
the poet kool-aid
neurally,
the uneclipsed optics
of seeing all
underjoined in
poetic cohesion.

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