Part 1: Lola ᜎᜓᜎ

I remember
my palms,
you reading.
Remember the oceans of thought
through your breathing,
you speaking,
you teaching me
everything you were taught to forget.

I remember your knowledge through dark wrinkles on even darker skin. Through superstition or super-intuition you spoke what your soul believed to me, a non-believer of what we were taught to be. And it makes me wonder how powerful they knew our people were to demonise everything we did.

Lola, I wish I could really speak to you before you
‘… Bakit ayaw mg samba ka?’
You taught me how to be a hilot but never told me
‘paano ka maliligtas, hindi pwedi papunta ka sa langit’

Never, I will never be saved, not in the way you were made to believe we were. I could never go through the baptism brainwashing, breaking what I know … I am of the earth and you are heavenly in more ways than the church could ever explain to you.