Gumnut Assorteds for supper   
           	               Again                      
Dry dust snorted            with weak earl grey
          Before 8pm doses 		    when they     			find 			Me 
In a courtyard of stiff chairs and hazy      e dge s
                 Made    h  a  z  i  e  r
 While I   Make                          c   r   a   z   i   e   r   ¿
 

I hoard sprinkles                  	secret colours in my ice cream
Loud walls of chipped beige
			                                gnawed vibrant
                     by chipped teeth
They take me out for 	                an afternoon on a cotton candy Ferris wheel
Amusement park tragedy	        of a dying child’s wish
We’re having fun    	
 	                            I think so


         It may as well     live                inside
 				              my  skin
           Like every tiny dust mite 
                   That fucks and fights for survival
In pores    scrubbed    raw but never 
				                                  unfilthy 
Until I just        Exfoliate        with dirt 
Feeding the  		                    slugs and symptoms
                        W   o   v   e   n 
                        into neurology  


                 ☒ “Try   some b r e a t h i n g exercises”
But I        ☑   Try   instead
   	        	         	         screeching for benzodiazepines 
			                         soothing ocean sounds     like parrots on     tensed shoulders
We describe ourselves as   seasons
Mary is the midsummer
           her voice dry with the heritage and heartbreak 
   	                                                                    of a family who will never visit
           I ramble about        crunchy leaves, vomit and screams
But she says   	 No matter who we are today
                      We all become   	       the	
                                      	                	              Fall