Are zombies carbon neutral?

1 April 2010

Zombies do not drive cars or trucks
are not big consumers of fossil fuel
So make no significant contribution
to atmospheric pollution

Zombies are not bothered by climate fluctuations
do not seek fully-furnished apartments
nor desire the latest appliance
The undead do not seek aesthetic comforts

Zombies will not fell trees
to manufacture products of timber
or copious amounts of paper
The undead don't crave Danish furniture

Zombies ingest raw brains
not fruit or vegetables
No cooking, no fires
no farming, no food miles

Zombies do not need yoga
or overseas holidays
They are not frequent flyers
nor guilty of cultural forays

Zombies do not mine minerals
such as gold, copper or uranium
They are not ready for the grave
or most things subterranean

Zombies do not endanger
species other than homo sapiens
Positive impact enhanced
by disinterest in procreation

Zombies are not vain
or obsessed with youth
No purchase of makeup or magazines
No showers or water use

The undead do not go clubbing
do drugs, or drink to excess
These distract from the flesh
of a zombie's single focus

Zombies will not argue
over politics or religion
Nor bombard landscapes
with weaponry and opinion

No concept of wealth
No envy over size of TV
Zombies are not concerned
with the global economy

Zombies walk more gently
than fast-paced humans
It's just their need for brains
that instils a bad reputation

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