I Look at My Body and See the Source of My Shame: Ecstasy Facsimile

By | 1 November 2018

Heavy thing, cigarettes and stale sex on your skin, why hog the blanket only
to apologize. I bite into my soul like a pretzel, it’s no
good, wipe blood off my lips with yesterday’s shirt. To regret an experience is
to nullify it, your 7 AM mug says. I wish my life worthy
enough to deserve erasure, I throw your ankle socks into the hamper. I lipstick
all synonyms on the mirror and slump my shoulders for
emphasis. I can balance a tray of plates on one hand and dishrag the smirk off
your face with another; besides that, I am ruthless
in amusing ways. I traveled from my country to this flat to be an actress and
morph into self instead. I wanted to be an almanac of
someone-elses but end up awake in bed an extra hour, nodding to reasons your
life should’ve been grander: without you until morning
I’m the body those lives give. Dear adversary, whose faces do you savage in my
dreams away from us, it’s time we make our god do unto us.

This entry was posted in 88: TRANSQUEER and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Related work:

One Response to I Look at My Body and See the Source of My Shame: Ecstasy Facsimile

  1. Pingback: Poems online – Mark Anthony Cayanan