ACT I: Marigolds
If I should drive out to the country in my most abjuring dreams
Let there be marigolds growing on the highway
Yellow and cheerful and hungry for sun
Constant and timeless and vulnerable
Let all the passenger-seat conjurings ask whether they were there the last time
Let my forgetfulness be a shoulder shrug the flavour of carefree youth
Let me become a highway metaphor a shade of openness I struggle to hold onto
Let holding on be the destination
A field of those marigolds where a cattle farm once was
The farmer’s husband buried beneath the grief she planted for him before the heartbreak killed her
Flower Angels I draw into the land of the secondary plot
Of the story that ends before I learn to carry them with me
The Naivety of permanenceThe roar of engine as they germinate in my place
ACT II: Succulents
If I should make it to the dessert in the protractions of my musings
Let the succulents show me where to honour my grief
Weathered and hardened and thirsty
Determined and rebellious and resilient
Let a stew of loneliness and desert sun wonder what it is to grow in infertile ground
Let all of the small deaths within me skirt around the parts in the sands where their roots may lay
Let me lower my almost-dry corpses beside them and open my hands in offering
Let the offering be an exchange for learning
A hardened leaf beneath the hardened skin of my fingertip
The beads of sweat that roll down my forehead bid greeting to the tears on my cheeks
I wipe away at the salt on my face and vow to keep growing
In the tale that does not end with survival
The wisdom in flourishingThe crunch of sand beneath my feet as I make my own way
ACT III: Peonies
If I should appear as a b-plot in the escapisms of another
Let me be a field of peonies at the beginning of Spring
Layered and soft and blossoming
Vibrant and lush and rare
Let me be unafraid to flower so fleetingly they almost miss me
Let me be unashamed of my need for soil undoubtedly fertile to bloom like this
Let me have faith in all of the reasons I have always been worth waiting for
Let the waiting be the journey
A sea of pink-tinged petals reaching out to touch one another
The love I have learnt to give myself the only marvel worth noticing
A single moment in time when I am nothing if not the protagonist
Of this plot line in which I inevitably thrive
The sagacity of growthThe rustling of petals in the expanse of my anthesis
- 115: SPACE
with A Sometimes
114: NO THEME 13
with J Toledo & C Tse
113: INVISIBLE WALLS
with A Walker & D Disney
112: TREAT
with T Dearborn
111: BABY
with S Deo & L Ferney
110: POP!
with Z Frost & B Jessen
109: NO THEME 12
with C Maling & N Rhook
108: DEDICATION
with L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik
107: LIMINAL
with B Li
106: OPEN
with C Lowe & J Langdon
105: NO THEME 11
with E Grills & E Stewart
104: KIN
with E Shiosaki
103: AMBLE
with E Gomez and S Gory
102: GAME
with R Green and J Maxwell
101: NO THEME 10
with J Kinsella and J Leanne
100: BROWNFACE
with W S Dunn
99: SINGAPORE
with J Ip and A Pang
97 & 98: PROPAGANDA
with M Breeze and S Groth
96: NO THEME IX
with M Gill and J Thayil
95: EARTH
with M Takolander
94: BAYT
with Z Hashem Beck
93: PEACH
with L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong
92: NO THEME VIII
with C Gaskin
91: MONSTER
with N Curnow
90: AFRICAN DIASPORA
with S Umar
89: DOMESTIC
with N Harkin
88: TRANSQUEER
with S Barnes and Q Eades
87: DIFFICULT
with O Schwartz & H Isemonger
86: NO THEME VII
with L Gorton
85: PHILIPPINES
with Mookie L and S Lua
84: SUBURBIA
with L Brown and N O'Reilly
83: MATHEMATICS
with F Hile
82: LAND
with J Stuart and J Gibian
81: NEW CARIBBEAN
with V Lucien
80: NO THEME VI
with J Beveridge
57.1: EKPHRASTIC
with C Atherton and P Hetherington
57: CONFESSION
with K Glastonbury
56: EXPLODE
with D Disney
55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUS
with M Chakraborty and K MacCarter
55: FUTURE MACHINES
with Bella Li
54: NO THEME V
with F Wright and O Sakr
53.0: THE END
with P Brown
52.0: TOIL
with C Jenkins
51.1: UMAMI
with L Davies and Lifted Brow
51.0: TRANSTASMAN
with B Cassidy
50.0: NO THEME IV
with J Tranter
49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH
with M Hall and S Seita
49.0: OBSOLETE
with T Ryan
48.1: CANADA
with K MacCarter and S Rhodes
48.0: CONSTRAINT
with C Wakeling
47.0: COLLABORATION
with L Armand and H Lambert
46.1: MELBOURNE
with M Farrell
46.0: NO THEME III
with F Plunkett
45.0: SILENCE
with J Owen
44.0: GONDWANALAND
with D Motion
43.1: PUMPKIN
with K MacCarter
43.0: MASQUE
with A Vickery
42.0: NO THEME II
with G Ryan
41.1: RATBAGGERY
with D Hose
41.0: TRANSPACIFIC
with J Rowe and M Nardone
40.1: INDONESIA
with K MacCarter
40.0: INTERLOCUTOR
with L Hart
39.1: GIBBERBIRD
with S Gory
39.0: JACKPOT!
with S Wagan Watson
38.0: SYDNEY
with A Lorange
37.1: NEBRASKA
with S Whalen
37.0: NO THEME!
with A Wearne
36.0: ELECTRONICA
with J Jones