I drink a beer to

loosen up. Every muscle

clenches under weight, and

shame rushes in wearing its

stupid little hat. I love you

with every personality:

slime girl, screamed spinach,

even trophy goblin.

I make a promise to a stench

of truth. We do a choke

dance, I write poems

about your eyes. The cramps

are caused by care.
What’s that smell?

Kissy slime, fire on the

shoulders, clench

in the chest, I want

to go into Target and piss

all over the stuffed animals

and then punch myself

in the teeth. A man?

Now? You cannot imagine

the groan, the heart skip dream,

the Carebear-sized hemorrhoid.
I will turn this wince into a scream.

The only thing more humiliating

than having a feeling is wanting something.

I allow nothing. I stare

at you. I twirl my hair.

I regret my stupid, hungry heart.