because (at the time) our relationship was the only reference I had to queer romance/ it was unbearable// unbearably beautiful to start with // unbearably Intense/ then unbearably painful when it ended/ I wasn’t prepared// I wanted it to/ but I don’t think I ever coulda babes// I thought I was happy// but soon it became clear how awful it actually was/ I put too much pressure on the relationship/ they didn’t actually respect me// I feel embarrassed because I lied to myself aye/ and all along they were just a bit of a fuckboi/ I saw their dating profile// I KNOWWW //it was peak fuckboi / I won’t repeat what they said// but fuck/ salt in the wound it was

I say all along / but it wasn’t like that // they deserve a more nuanced depiction/ or: I need to know I wasn’t completely stupid for someone