We’re not in wonderland anymore, Alice. – Charles Manson




Many of us gathered here, silent beyond reflection.

Heavy breath, your instructions that weigh too much,

the stained grains beneath this carpet of knives 

buried in the Californian desert.
I want more of you than eyes and breath

in this makeshift house you have built,

where we all live terrified and in love. 
Your voyeuristic gaze against skin, 

the collision of flesh and trembling breath,

your eyes fixed on us and on her as you enter 

for the first time, every time.
How my body shook in the airless haze  

of your arms then, shaking again now, the way we all do. 

Together I want to climb the length of the blade 

that won’t ever come out.