1:40PM in our demilitarized portion of living

               			             across of course

from a golf course

The wolves revolve

		  What insipid shit

gets contrived in the outliers 
The International Monetary Fund

won’t quit playing games with my heart 
Maggot Therapy

              a decent title

for something but

                 where to put it 
I’m hardly a grass fed species

and once

                   distraught

I tossed the salad of a friend

who cared no more

for the way in which I’d hurt him

than he did for the art in which I’d no choice

but to participate 
Fucking strange

               happenings

Sitting here at the table

of a soon to be brother-in-law

making certain his six y/o daughter doesn’t die

for at least four hours

as we occupy ourselves

in our own silly ways 
Responsibility

              Fucking strange 
On this table is a math problem

The homework of a fifteen y/o

who has just had a shoplifting case

                                   dropped

in North Carolina Juvenile Court

                                Congrats to her

I’ve never understood maths

Never intend to understand

                          how to go on in such daylight

y=a(x-int1)(x-int2)

y=a

is to me

a shitty piece

of conceptual writing
Jenny says it’s all in the process

Then we agree

             It’s all in the head 
We’re each in a process

of becoming                       The six y/o  is doing a headstand

has been             for hours

                                         Talking to herself

about beverages

                             There but for

                                                  she keeps on saying 
Last night on the phone with my mom

I listed the ways

in which the Catholic church

evicted the child

right out of a self

who was frightened

of asteroids

                       Mainly

their immediacy

y=a(x-7)(x-1) 
Why

does Y always got to equal A 
It’s not my responsibility to respond
Flushing may occur

just as anything            may occur
A life so heavy

is not recommended for tissue so delicate

but here I sit

beside a novel

                           Don’t Try To Find Me

it’s called and appears

to be about a daughter and mother

who keep secrets from each other and more devastatingly

says the book jacket

from themselves

I am tired

          of so much devastation
y=10/9(x-7)(x-1) 
whatever that means

at least Y doesn’t equal A this time

unless A

is the solution

               I’ll never know

A crumpled up note on the table

which I’ve now made not crumpled

because the preview was appealing

reads Sophocles says:

                                       Don’t sleep with your mom

It’s either a poem

or notes for some honors class

Whatever Sophocles said

                       I’ve never known

Cattulus maybe

              Another mistake entirely

I remember

when what filled my days was qualified

by some form of merit 
Like

            you are this or that

because you did

or you didn’t
Goddamn
Now I just sit in front of a screen

for eight or nine hours a day

simply to be told

                                things are important

when things are not important

for $13.26 an hour                                  I pretend to care

All forms of work are a form                                            of pretending
Labor

skilled or unskilled

paid or unpaid

like right now

unskilled

and unpaid 

Grapefruit

is listed in all caps

as a contraindication of this medicine

for the cock

which I’ve stolen

off my friend’s kitchen counter
I figure any drugs

left on a kitchen counter

are fair game

and that he’d understand

the nature of this experiment 
which might be

what makes us friends
An acceleration begins to manifest

by which I mean

watch out

for moving trains in this kind of century
Ellen’ll be here soon 
For her I’m grateful

                                    Not to spurt holy

all over your chest

all over your burning bush

                                                I’m feeling a little saved
For all the hospitals in which I’ve stayed
One look out a widow

would make a difference 
is a sentence

thought of

while looking out a window
It could be the rain

but windows allow me to imagine

I’m in London

                            Maybe

I’m still in the hospital

but shit

at least I’m in London and o my

                                                         How I’ve experienced

a decrease in motor skills

                                             Exclamations

are rare

I like them

as though one does a lamb burger

                                                           Questionably microbial

I open to the first page

of a book containing the blurb

                                                      Chillingly plausible

I laugh

Inside and read a line

                                        I’d kill

for a

            what

in response 

It’s been concluded Ellen will not be here soon or ever again

Inside her head she’s adopted the schedule of Anna Wintour
The fashion world is not OZ 
The fashion world is the shakes

and cleaning the toilet with the shakes 

I remain grateful but unholy

as whatever you think unholy 
Tonight a friend asked me if I knew any good reads about Sophocles
I’ve another friend in high school who’s been banned from Belk

She’ll sum up Sophocles with a ukulele performance 
I think all of this and I say none
Tonight there is cause for retreat 

About the job market yet another friend said

The outlook is bleak

I agree

                                       on all fronts 

Next month I’ll be in Florida for a holy union

and to tell my psychiatrist the ideation sits around

as though it’s a bill I don’t intend to pay

until threatened

                               with disconnection of service

If this is to be about family

then it must also            by default

be about aching 
I say to the six y/o

when she selects for me which character I’ll be

while playing twenty twenty five minutes rounds

of Super Smash Brothers 
She laughs as if she understood

                               all that about aching 

With a couple of stuffed animals we make noises

I say yip yip spit spit yoshi yoshi woop woop 
What I say in this context

Doesn’t matter for shit 
woop woop

I aim to become more proletariat by the day

                                                                           I miss

I mean no living becomes earned

Just waking up should accompany a stipend

Leaving for wine now 

Leaving this open

for other creatures to scrawl their opinions

Forgotten dolls make way for forgotten everything otherwise

If Bowser isn’t the oldest

but has a bunch of children

who are you to say the children are not older 
How do you know

                                   Now theorizing

with a six y/o 
woop woop

I’ve taken to reading the supposed classics

                                           Littering

your childhood bedroom

which is also your current bedroom

                                  with bottles 

Woke at 2:13AM

                                 Frightened

of where the bay had gone

I wonder

whether I could successfully hang myself

with the entirety of this curling ribbon

Don’t worry

           Not that you would worry

but don’t worry

It’s simply a question

of logistics          a question

of practicality       a question

of ridding oneself    a question

of redundancies 
Too much asparagus

Too little piss
Too languid a lifestyle

Too petty a theft 
I’m no associate

or adjunct

or operator

I can                however

crash four wheelers

into such winding of vines 

In the parking lot of the LEGOLAND HOTEL

I assembled the LEGO helicopter

It didn’t fly as far as we’d planned

You slept the whole way back

We didn’t fly

             as far as I’d planned

I’ve been a terrible friend

not meeting the new edition to the fam 
Being in your new house

now makes me feel myself

                        such an amputee

I haven’t cum in a couple of weeks

Don’t want to accidently have a baby with a flea 
Documentation from FASTMED

States I’ve postpartum depression
 

Remember

We used to buy food

We used to buy food

You’d nap

while I cooked the food 
For one I bought the Valentine’s special for two

The cats did the napping                        I was out of Morton’s 
so tears it was

There won’t ever be anyone to talk to about individualized decline

No bog is too

                           but O yeah they so are

Once

confused and cut

by what I claimed was a dog

everyone knew

was imaginary

I received 
THE LOWEST GRADE IN THE CLASS
I attempted to argue

that grades and what both I

as student

and Erik

as teacher

were attempting to do mattered

                              none at all

on the scale of global materialism suffering harvesting you choose

a verb or noun and shove it inside the throat
I offered to discuss

this crisis            of faith

           he called it

over a drink

                         a beer I said

but Erik who’d not simply given such a low grade

but had made a point

to declare he’d done so

as fact as if by

commandment

                            declined

Only coffee for me these days

he said

and maybe

that was the reason

he felt compelled to inform another person

how shitty they were doing

in comparison to their peers

despite operating

inside totally inconsequential bubble

and maybe

it was a reason

I decided to exit

                              My bones

screaming

you people 
You’re not at all as fun as I’d thought