the password is: “Love you for 10,000 years”

By | 1 December 2022

but it’s not undying1; let’s not give it
forever. i just want to make time a little stretchier.

in this kind of love: my body hurtles towards the ceiling at 2 a.m
with the fan on the highest setting, and everywhere
is a wish-come-true:
11:11 in your lower lashes,
11:11 gathering in clouds of ants under a rock. at 11:11,
“i love you” sounds like static electricity when it clings to
a lightbulb. flicker on & off & on
& off & on & on & on &&&

i touch your cheek in the dinner broth and your oily reflection
films around my finger. i interpret that as your way of saying
“i want you to be the person who reminds me to do Duolingo
every night before we go to sleep”.

i’ve been sweeping the bathroom floor for days—your hair
finds impossible new places to hide. you interpret this as
my way of saying “it feels so beautiful but so heavy to write about you”.

in this kind of love: i am becoming a better listener, and i
stare out the window way more now.
same song on repeat:
it’s you, it’s you, it’s you i was dreaming of


in this kind of love: when i finally get my wisdom teeth removed,
your name runs tiny circles around my scalp: zip zap zip zap zip zap
zip zap as the room spins. fuzzy little syllabic currents
and my brain is a heavy balloon bouncing against the wall.

in my anaesthetic haze, i forget to recognise you,
and try to hit on you, clumsily, again & again & again
& again

thiiiiiis much. i love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

  1. The title of this poem is a reference to an English subtitle from Wong Kar Wai’s film Chungking Express.
    The original quote is “爱你一万年”, which translates to “Love you for 10,000 years”. The subtitle was
    inaccurately updated to “undying love”, appearing in a later version of the film.
  2. My translation of the Teresa Teng lyric: “是你,是你,梦⻅的就是你”, from her song ‘甜蜜蜜’ Tian Mi Mi.
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