but it’s not undying1; let’s not give it
forever. i just want to make time a little stretchier.
in this kind of love: my body hurtles towards the ceiling at 2 a.m
with the fan on the highest setting, and everywhere
is a wish-come-true:
11:11 in your lower lashes,
11:11 gathering in clouds of ants under a rock. at 11:11,
“i love you” sounds like static electricity when it clings to
a lightbulb. flicker on & off & on
& off & on & on & on &&&
i touch your cheek in the dinner broth and your oily reflection
films around my finger. i interpret that as your way of saying
“i want you to be the person who reminds me to do Duolingo
every night before we go to sleep”.
i’ve been sweeping the bathroom floor for days—your hair
finds impossible new places to hide. you interpret this as
my way of saying “it feels so beautiful but so heavy to write about you”.
in this kind of love: i am becoming a better listener, and i
stare out the window way more now.
same song on repeat:
it’s you, it’s you, it’s you i was dreaming of
in this kind of love: when i finally get my wisdom teeth removed,
your name runs tiny circles around my scalp: zip zap zip zap zip zap
zip zap as the room spins. fuzzy little syllabic currents
and my brain is a heavy balloon bouncing against the wall.
in my anaesthetic haze, i forget to recognise you,
and try to hit on you, clumsily, again & again & again
thiiiiiis much. i love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.
- The title of this poem is a reference to an English subtitle from Wong Kar Wai’s film Chungking Express.
The original quote is “爱你一万年”, which translates to “Love you for 10,000 years”. The subtitle was
inaccurately updated to “undying love”, appearing in a later version of the film. ↩
- My translation of the Teresa Teng lyric: “是你，是你，梦⻅的就是你”, from her song ‘甜蜜蜜’ Tian Mi Mi. ↩
- 108: DEDICATIONwith L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik 107: LIMINALwith B Li 106: OPENwith C SLowe & J Langdon 105: NO THEME 11with E Grills & E Stewart 104: KINwith E Shiosaki 103: AMBLEwith E Gomez and S Gory 102: GAMEwith R Green and J Maxwell 101: NO THEME 10with J Kinsella and J Leanne 100: BROWNFACE with W S Dunn 99: SINGAPOREwith J Ip and A Pang 97 & 98: PROPAGANDAwith M Breeze and S Groth 96: NO THEME IXwith M Gill and J Thayil 95: EARTHwith M Takolander 94: BAYTwith Z Hashem Beck 93: PEACHwith L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong 92: NO THEME VIIIwith C Gaskin 91: MONSTERwith N Curnow 90: AFRICAN DIASPORAwith S Umar 89: DOMESTICwith N Harkin 88: TRANSQUEERwith S Barnes and Q Eades 87: DIFFICULTwith O Schwartz & H Isemonger 86: NO THEME VIIwith L Gorton 85: PHILIPPINESwith Mookie L and S Lua 84: SUBURBIAwith L Brown and N O'Reilly 83: MATHEMATICSwith F Hile 82: LANDwith J Stuart and J Gibian 81: NEW CARIBBEANwith V Lucien 80: NO THEME VIwith J Beveridge 57.1: EKPHRASTICwith C Atherton and P Hetherington 57: CONFESSIONwith K Glastonbury 56: EXPLODE with D Disney 55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUSwith M Chakraborty and K MacCarter 55: FUTURE MACHINES with Bella Li 54: NO THEME V with F Wright and O Sakr 53.0: THE END with P Brown 52.0: TOIL with C Jenkins 51.1: UMAMI with L Davies and Lifted Brow 51.0: TRANSTASMAN with B Cassidy 50.0: NO THEME IV with J Tranter 49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH with M Hall and S Seita 49.0: OBSOLETE with T Ryan 48.1: CANADA with K MacCarter and S Rhodes 48.0: CONSTRAINT with C Wakeling 47.0: COLLABORATION with L Armand and H Lambert 46.1: MELBOURNE with M Farrell 46.0: NO THEME III with F Plunkett 45.0: SILENCE with J Owen 44.0: GONDWANALAND with D Motion 43.1: PUMPKIN with K MacCarter 43.0: MASQUE with A Vickery 42.0: NO THEME II with G Ryan 41.1: RATBAGGERY with D Hose 41.0: TRANSPACIFIC with J Rowe and M Nardone 40.1: INDONESIA with K MacCarter 40.0: INTERLOCUTOR with L Hart 39.1: GIBBERBIRD with S Gory 39.0: JACKPOT! with S Wagan Watson 38.0: SYDNEY with A Lorange 37.1: NEBRASKA with S Whalen 37.0: NO THEME! with A Wearne 36.0: ELECTRONICA with J Jones