Entrée: raw oysters on the shell. Price

on application but they will be raised high

on a bed of ice and lemon slices.
A dozen and a half is not available

so we take a dozen, abashed

that oyster eaters cannot have their number
which would have given us three each.

Who forks the first and slips it down his throat

would like to seize the rest and lick the platter
or hurl the oyster shells over one shoulder. An

alumna of the University of South Carolina proposes

the final three go to the most distinguished scholars
first to the one whose golden thesis sits beside her plate

another to a prodigal undeserving Hon D.Litt., the last

to an unassailable Distinguished Professor. The moon
looks down on three tipped-back throats

once tugged by gowns and Gaudeamus notes

processing stagewards to receive the precious oyster.