I’ll Never Again

By | 3 February 2024
Appear on a school stage and recite Cuthbert: The Boy with a Cart.
Pretend to enjoy watching a soccer match on a freezing cold day.
Own a mustard 1977 three-door Corolla car with fuel injection.
Queue for two hours in customs to view the Statue of Liberty.
Sing The [Girls]Light Up in a small car with eleven people.
Go swimming in a halter-neck with my midriff showing.
Ride a zip-line in Costo Rico and hear a tree fall down.
Be tipped off the back of my brother’s snow mobile.
Buy a Christmas tree before the start of December.
Stand outside a school gate and make small talk.
Order takeaway from a Chinese café in Venice.
Tell my kids it’s time for them to go to bed.
Adore Middlemarch like I did at eighteen.
Recall the rules to interrupted cadences.
Read to the end of a book I don’t like.
Play a game of Murder in the Dark.
Be the last person to leave a party.
Stand in a lift with Joan Rivers.
Wear a Russian wedding ring.
Forget the drive-in speaker.
Put a valance on my bed.
Eat lavender ice-cream.
Teach Sunday School.
Wear a shower cap.
Make paper-toles.
Do a handstand.
Perm my hair.
Grow bonsai.
Sip gin.
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