When you took my hand that first night

we were walking along the red brick mall

from the pub to the teller

at the foot of the old State Bank

that had just collapsed

– not literally or right then

but dissolved a full year ago

except the dark draped pall

remained, resistant to kicking feet.

Almost in an effort to blast it all loose

the building from teller to neon top

had been rebranded BankSA –

new leaf, remaining live limb

bought out by Advance Bank

which would soon itself be gobbled up …
not that we knew or would know any of this;

I didn’t have a clue, wrapped up as I was,

oblivious, like a child.

Everything seemed in bloom that night. 
A few weeks later you called me Babe

and, startled, I didn’t know what to do

so I called you Babe back

wasn’t sure if it would stick

wasn’t sure if we would stick.

Five years on I had to admit –

it was de facto – it had moved in

just as we had with each other

in the bush, literally babes in the woods.
Later when we had actual babes

we would keep the same spots

for one another, duplicate names

and even in the deepest shades

of adult place: churches, banks and trades

we would draw on it like a fresh spring

and it blossomed into pyjamaed slang

loose morning mumbles, riffed streams,

wood-fired steam, evening pre-sleep dreams.
Finally, by your final hospital bed

holding your hand as you quivered a touch,

certain words said, others rote

many unsaid, a few that couldn’t be approached

but there was one, just one.
A few months on, mornings of staring

at tree limbs and coffee mugs,

a new Medicare card in the mail:

three numbers unchanged

just yours taken off

and the rest pulled together:

1   3   4

like flesh and skin in a facelift

pulling a cover over the hole

to make like you were never there

but I remember the sequence

and know something isn’t right.

I want to re-add you in pen –

that favourite Sharpie marker of yours

permanent like you

and I will not write your name

I will write your real name.

What will they do –

will they not let me claim?