money for two (I’m in the one percent)

By | 7 October 2021

cento after Elle advice column ‘Ask E. Jean’

This is a benevolent profession
Rogue! Poet! Swashbuckler!
And excellent at household chores!

One day, at a film premier,
I met the Irish actor Richard Harris
the Henry David Thoreau of Instagram
His bankruptcy was due to professional incompetence

A dreaded Dude Philanthopist
Dude-Gooder
“Do you rent your furniture?”

We hug, we shag, we cuddle,
waste your time, take your money and mangle
your children’s idea of right and wrong
What scene would be worse:

This is where the sulk comes in
I’d yodel positive hogwash
dislocating your very essence

bewailing vegetables beyond your control
Overexposed blobs with eyeballs
A 30-year-old blood-sucker is wound around your torso

Her barrage of cruelties
pass over my twin
help me “get over it”

Your friend can become an ordained minister,
will softly recede into a quieter kind of goodwill
What’s your quest?

My Youth Is Slipping Away
I look six times more beautiful at least!
(emoji, emoji, emoji)

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