Money is cheap

When we have money, we’ll have dollar signs in our eyes because our eyes will be dollars. When we go to our friends’ houses for dinner and they serve us plates of food, we’ll say, ‘Sorry—we only eat money now.’ When we’re upset, we’ll cry tears of money and everything will be right again. We’ll wake up to coins on our pillows and notes in our sheets. If you prick us, will we not bleed money? We can bank on it. We’ll scratch fifties from our skin and drop cents when we lean over the sink. We’ll sneeze money and smell faintly metallic, but in a good way. When we open our mouths to speak, money will stream out like vomit, but it’ll taste like copper and satisfaction. When we have money, everything will be cheap—even money.