Our leader announced I’m too smart to be sure of anything.

Unanimously we agreed. How damaging it was to see ourselves

as docile agents of an economic workforce. Bloated on competition

and rank. Which as our leader assured us meant the same thing.

A sharp voice from the third row yelled I just found out my wife

has been fucking another man! Nobody said a word apart

from the sound guy who softly replied it happens. I turned to the man

next to me who wore an orange tie to whisper hey, I think my hair

is falling out my head. He shrugged. Told me to calm down.

I thought about what to say next despite the fact my hair

was definitely falling out my head, so I asked him why the room

was so dark. It’s not, the lights are just off. Well, that’s that then

I thought. Our leader approached the lectern like a great cow

rustled a few sheets of paper as a voice from the front row yelled

you’re the truth, Harrison! The whole fucking truth!

Unanimously we agreed. Each of us holding up our signed

hardback copies. As for me, I’d ordered a soda water with lime

about twenty minutes ago, so I thought to ask the man next to me

if I should go see what happened. I said hey, have you seen

a soda water with lime floating around anywhere? He didn’t respond.

Instead, he scratched his ankle then took a bite from his baguette –

Where did you get that baguette from? Are you ok with leaving

just the crust for me…then wow Jesus he flung the napkin down

and dispensed with the following:

look here you stupid little fuck my grandfather died for this country

he died because he believed in liberty and tradition he died

because he died and now here you are… he caught himself

wiped the white mayonnaise from his top lip, readjusted

his orange tie and stroked my face like a wall before turning

his attention back to our leader who by now had changed

into a whole new dress.