It was raining, dark, and the end
of summer.
I was telling the story
when I sat by the back window.
you were there, I was maybe nine.
voice and raindrops rose
and fell like tiny
little wet slaps.
A wake-up call,
some may say.
“Tell us your story,” and
we’d go around the group.
“I was nine,” I would say,
but maybe I was ten.
A hush fell in cocooned
shelter,
and there I was, looking out again.
Far away dream voices nagged
at me.
They were coming from up the
stairs, from behind,
my nose pressed up against
the cool glass
(it was summer)
as if waiting for an event
in the garden.
Then it all gained this
electric momentum,
accelerated voices a tousle of
limbs, my ten (or was I nine)
year old nose flush
up to the glass.
Never had I seen
a grown man cry and so
I stood there, the voices
propelling behind me with
diesel force, waiting,
as I said,
for the garden event.
The tree stood there totally
unashamed, perhaps unaware
of the role it would later play.
A fruitful tree, too rough
to climb, whose branches we’d
strip of apricots at the close of
every summer.
It was nearly time, maybe I was nine.
She was leaving him, the dream voice
said. She’d had enough. The
low branch readied itself, my wet
nose cool on glass, the heavy, angry
pitter patter of feet scampering
down stairs.
The slap –
backdoor released from its hinge.
A jingle bells of car keys hiding in
her bag.
“And where were you? They asked.
Under the awning, rain wetting
our feet, hair attaching
to foreheads with damp insistence.
“I think I was nine,” I said. “Or
maybe ten. He was there,” and
I pointed somewhere. Wet rain
wet my feet and hands, wet nose,
dog-like, again pressed against
the glass,
hot breath
making little foggy circle,
enveloping my view.
She had walked straight under the
branch of the apricot tree and was
halfway opening the car when
it hit him.
Maybe I’d never seen a fall
like that, maybe I’d never
seen him fall.
His back flush against pavement,
my nose, wet, flush against
the glass. When he
touched his forehead
blood appeared, a deep
red smear on
fingertips. No blood
I’d seen before. No
laceration, no wound.
The one with keys, her
dream voice rose and her palms
opened up and she rushed
to him.
Naturally.
Rain fell.
“And what next?” they said,
“and were you nine or ten?”
“I’m sure,” I said, rain
somehow seeping through the
awning. We were at
the art show and everything
smelled like cigarettes.
A girl squeezed past
whose white dress was
stained with chilled red
wine, like diluted blood,
like blood washed out
but still a fixture
of the fibres.
Nothing happened.
We went on like this for
some while, the
apricots stewing beautifully,
a lovely treat
for autumn, everyone moved
around, courteously,
enjoying the art, pretending
that it made them feel something.
- 115: SPACE
with A Sometimes
114: NO THEME 13
with J Toledo & C Tse
113: INVISIBLE WALLS
with A Walker & D Disney
112: TREAT
with T Dearborn
111: BABY
with S Deo & L Ferney
110: POP!
with Z Frost & B Jessen
109: NO THEME 12
with C Maling & N Rhook
108: DEDICATION
with L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik
107: LIMINAL
with B Li
106: OPEN
with C Lowe & J Langdon
105: NO THEME 11
with E Grills & E Stewart
104: KIN
with E Shiosaki
103: AMBLE
with E Gomez and S Gory
102: GAME
with R Green and J Maxwell
101: NO THEME 10
with J Kinsella and J Leanne
100: BROWNFACE
with W S Dunn
99: SINGAPORE
with J Ip and A Pang
97 & 98: PROPAGANDA
with M Breeze and S Groth
96: NO THEME IX
with M Gill and J Thayil
95: EARTH
with M Takolander
94: BAYT
with Z Hashem Beck
93: PEACH
with L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong
92: NO THEME VIII
with C Gaskin
91: MONSTER
with N Curnow
90: AFRICAN DIASPORA
with S Umar
89: DOMESTIC
with N Harkin
88: TRANSQUEER
with S Barnes and Q Eades
87: DIFFICULT
with O Schwartz & H Isemonger
86: NO THEME VII
with L Gorton
85: PHILIPPINES
with Mookie L and S Lua
84: SUBURBIA
with L Brown and N O'Reilly
83: MATHEMATICS
with F Hile
82: LAND
with J Stuart and J Gibian
81: NEW CARIBBEAN
with V Lucien
80: NO THEME VI
with J Beveridge
57.1: EKPHRASTIC
with C Atherton and P Hetherington
57: CONFESSION
with K Glastonbury
56: EXPLODE
with D Disney
55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUS
with M Chakraborty and K MacCarter
55: FUTURE MACHINES
with Bella Li
54: NO THEME V
with F Wright and O Sakr
53.0: THE END
with P Brown
52.0: TOIL
with C Jenkins
51.1: UMAMI
with L Davies and Lifted Brow
51.0: TRANSTASMAN
with B Cassidy
50.0: NO THEME IV
with J Tranter
49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH
with M Hall and S Seita
49.0: OBSOLETE
with T Ryan
48.1: CANADA
with K MacCarter and S Rhodes
48.0: CONSTRAINT
with C Wakeling
47.0: COLLABORATION
with L Armand and H Lambert
46.1: MELBOURNE
with M Farrell
46.0: NO THEME III
with F Plunkett
45.0: SILENCE
with J Owen
44.0: GONDWANALAND
with D Motion
43.1: PUMPKIN
with K MacCarter
43.0: MASQUE
with A Vickery
42.0: NO THEME II
with G Ryan
41.1: RATBAGGERY
with D Hose
41.0: TRANSPACIFIC
with J Rowe and M Nardone
40.1: INDONESIA
with K MacCarter
40.0: INTERLOCUTOR
with L Hart
39.1: GIBBERBIRD
with S Gory
39.0: JACKPOT!
with S Wagan Watson
38.0: SYDNEY
with A Lorange
37.1: NEBRASKA
with S Whalen
37.0: NO THEME!
with A Wearne
36.0: ELECTRONICA
with J Jones