when the revolution & i broke up we said it was mutual but it wasn’t. the revolution now says the ease with which i have moved on is hurtful & has affected her confidence in history. although i strove for benevolence the revolution suspects i never loved her at all. the revolution wholeheartedly stands by her uncompromising views on love. the revolution & i are in the acrimonious process of divvying up our remaining friends. the revolution says i was always too concerned with what people thought of me. the revolution says we used to be about more than just ourselves. the revolution says my new partner is attractive, sure, but isn’t she a bit basic. it was so good in the beginning, the revolution laments, where did it all go wrong. the revolution says i was always looking towards the future & fretting about the past, never living for the moment. the revolution says i was more into the idea of her than the reality. the revolution knew that i was a flirt. the revolution accused me, rightly, of never giving it my all. the revolution & i agree that we both knew it was over long before we called it quits—things never had to get this bad. privately the revolution & i worry that we blew the best thing we’ll ever have. the revolution & i promised each other that if we were old & alone we’d give it another shot. i told the revolution that she of all people should know things change. she told me to fuck off, she was never my revolution anyway.