these sesame seeds are shaped like tears on purpose /

but i’m in an xl t-shirt on accident /

yellow as my best friend

from middle school / when she kept watching a film

about the awful things humans do to animals /

i’d say / why you wanna watch that? it’s gunk /

her midnight macaroni melted to one side of the bowl as she /

dreamt about smoking a cigar / or a textbook /

and this is exactly what i am /

praising my blood when it mostly works like it’s

supposed to / creating the wound myself

when i can’t explain why it should be there / i fucked up when i tried

to bury the past inside me /

my best friend is still watching that documentary /

she is still wondering why we brutalise the things we adore /

why the fuck aren’t you watching it? /

she’d said /

i don’t know man / i guess i’m not ready to admit

when i’ve done something unforgivable; / or when i should make up

for it, at least /