What they Remember

By | 1 July 1998

For the record he assiduously adhered to the speed limit
Except for that one time
That time he daisied around the bend
They say he pursued the lascivious side of life until the end
He performed miracles in his sleep
He fell in with the religious crowd while an infant
That squirrel still carries a pellet behind the ear
They say he was a generous man
Orphanages foreclosed in his name
He always knocked before entering
They say he had a tendency to enter through a bathroom window
And no one home
And no one home
They say he never broke a bone
He never spliced a comma
Or used exclamation points in a profligate manner
The Fourth of July was his favorite holiday
The fireworks scared him half to death
They say the Fates smiled on him at birth
Someone cut the cord
He’d no sooner look you in the eye than salute the president
They say his car would stop on a dime
They say he drove an injured animal to church on Sundays
And put his groceries in the trunk
They say the groceries sat in the front
With that poor animal in the trunk
They say he had a nervous twitch
He never owned a bird
They say he drove his cockatoo crazy with his continual knitting
He wove his way into highfalutin circles
He didn’t know a thing about antiques
They say a peeping Tom at the window caught his eye
The rest of him remained free
Freedom of choice kept him awake
He slept only on Wednesday
He slept like the dead on vacation in Cuba
They say he could play any tune by ear
A keen financial acumen marked his life
They say he bled the coffers dry
He paid his tithes religiously
Any sudden movement would throw him completely off kilter
He looked cute in a skirt
They say he could thread a needle with his eyes closed
He peeked when in public
They say he never missed a beat
You couldn’t knock it out of him
They say he could have been in the movies
He forgot a line or two at times
He recovered remarkably well for his age
They say he had a thing for candles
Brittle brittle days
They say he shot the bolt a bit early now and then
Now and then he stayed in for the long haul
He got caught with his pants down once
Under the bleachers
Under a full moon in the park
They say he never bounced a check
For honor is all a man has
What good is a man without honor
He yelled Damn! when he fell from the monkey bars
For honor is all a man has
He forged solid relations with his neighbors
They say he could hit a nail on the head
They say he never worried about mutual funds
Compound interest drove him to the brink
He never touched the stuff
Except on Wednesday
He pitched horseshoes on Wednesdays
On Wednesday he was puritanical about everything
His ancestors were tramontanes
Hard to pin down
You couldn’t pin down his ancestors
For they were tramontanes
They say his soul outshone the sun
They say we didn’t know him as well as they did
He made no mention of that squirrel in his will
They say he didn’t give anyone anything

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