i.
i will not bear children. my hips wide and unyielding.
our arms, rivers of bloodline.
minangkabau—world’s largest matrilineal society.
our continuation, padusi.
our joys, bundles of infants.the choice to unmother in one way is a choice to mother other things.
is a choice for one body to extend the luck of breath.stopping medication during pregnancy.
how would baby bear the pain i’ve learned to river.
how could i welcome a soul to womb with toxic shock.
how would i propel us both through eugenicist clouds blocking airpipes.to recklessly induce another life, when bloodline
is asking me, eons of padusi in mitochondrial chorus,
back and back and back:
‘onde mande, la laruik sanjo.
makin lamo hiduik,
makin banyak diraso.’
ii.
the land belongs to the minang woman.
more rarely said: the land is inside us.i hoard the rustling quietude of tanah datar fish ponds.
pandemic-besieged in a flat in south london,
i close my eyes to the beat of bedug and the laughter
of thunder-voiced girls aged eighteen to eighty,
in rumah gadang lintau buo.once, on a village visit, my brother
met a woman working in paddy fields
who said she’d held our uwo as a baby.how could this land not be in our mouths
our glands, stoked granular whims, our legs
bathed in instinct, our hair thick and braided
my lost ones are soil embedded in skin
are the breadth of breathwork across rapid straits
are the way of return, the weight of migration
turned satchel that fits in the hand, compared to
the borderless country that lives molecular
speaking to vast populations of daughters
and bending oxygen into the forests
alive in our raucous eyes, the life ahead.
- 115: SPACE
with A Sometimes
114: NO THEME 13
with J Toledo & C Tse
113: INVISIBLE WALLS
with A Walker & D Disney
112: TREAT
with T Dearborn
111: BABY
with S Deo & L Ferney
110: POP!
with Z Frost & B Jessen
109: NO THEME 12
with C Maling & N Rhook
108: DEDICATION
with L Patterson & L Garcia-Dolnik
107: LIMINAL
with B Li
106: OPEN
with C Lowe & J Langdon
105: NO THEME 11
with E Grills & E Stewart
104: KIN
with E Shiosaki
103: AMBLE
with E Gomez and S Gory
102: GAME
with R Green and J Maxwell
101: NO THEME 10
with J Kinsella and J Leanne
100: BROWNFACE
with W S Dunn
99: SINGAPORE
with J Ip and A Pang
97 & 98: PROPAGANDA
with M Breeze and S Groth
96: NO THEME IX
with M Gill and J Thayil
95: EARTH
with M Takolander
94: BAYT
with Z Hashem Beck
93: PEACH
with L Van, G Mouratidis, L Toong
92: NO THEME VIII
with C Gaskin
91: MONSTER
with N Curnow
90: AFRICAN DIASPORA
with S Umar
89: DOMESTIC
with N Harkin
88: TRANSQUEER
with S Barnes and Q Eades
87: DIFFICULT
with O Schwartz & H Isemonger
86: NO THEME VII
with L Gorton
85: PHILIPPINES
with Mookie L and S Lua
84: SUBURBIA
with L Brown and N O'Reilly
83: MATHEMATICS
with F Hile
82: LAND
with J Stuart and J Gibian
81: NEW CARIBBEAN
with V Lucien
80: NO THEME VI
with J Beveridge
57.1: EKPHRASTIC
with C Atherton and P Hetherington
57: CONFESSION
with K Glastonbury
56: EXPLODE
with D Disney
55.1: DALIT / INDIGENOUS
with M Chakraborty and K MacCarter
55: FUTURE MACHINES
with Bella Li
54: NO THEME V
with F Wright and O Sakr
53.0: THE END
with P Brown
52.0: TOIL
with C Jenkins
51.1: UMAMI
with L Davies and Lifted Brow
51.0: TRANSTASMAN
with B Cassidy
50.0: NO THEME IV
with J Tranter
49.1: A BRITISH / IRISH
with M Hall and S Seita
49.0: OBSOLETE
with T Ryan
48.1: CANADA
with K MacCarter and S Rhodes
48.0: CONSTRAINT
with C Wakeling
47.0: COLLABORATION
with L Armand and H Lambert
46.1: MELBOURNE
with M Farrell
46.0: NO THEME III
with F Plunkett
45.0: SILENCE
with J Owen
44.0: GONDWANALAND
with D Motion
43.1: PUMPKIN
with K MacCarter
43.0: MASQUE
with A Vickery
42.0: NO THEME II
with G Ryan
41.1: RATBAGGERY
with D Hose
41.0: TRANSPACIFIC
with J Rowe and M Nardone
40.1: INDONESIA
with K MacCarter
40.0: INTERLOCUTOR
with L Hart
39.1: GIBBERBIRD
with S Gory
39.0: JACKPOT!
with S Wagan Watson
38.0: SYDNEY
with A Lorange
37.1: NEBRASKA
with S Whalen
37.0: NO THEME!
with A Wearne
36.0: ELECTRONICA
with J Jones