love poem for the newly out

By | 5 December 2019

I dream a man I used
to love knifes clean
through the flesh of my name
out springs an orange dress
blood & kohl
he conjures my hair
it unfurls from the root
like a planted flag
sometimes my body fails
to revert to vessel
in these dreams
I become something else
something without edges
the point at which my forehead
touches the earth
or the unseen fist of gravity
bending light
sometimes I wake
before he drowns me
beneath the ocean
of his body
I kick myself toward the light
re-inhabit each nerve
each egg ripe
as a ruined palace
in the desert of my belly

my scars reinvent their knit ridges
& I am still made
of my own flesh
I unswallow the blade
from my own throat
tongue the clot of my name
in my mouth
smooth as a new tooth

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