Entrée: raw oysters on the shell. Price
on application but they will be raised high
on a bed of ice and lemon slices.
A dozen and a half is not available
so we take a dozen, abashed
that oyster eaters cannot have their number
which would have given us three each.
Who forks the first and slips it down his throat
would like to seize the rest and lick the platter
or hurl the oyster shells over one shoulder. An
alumna of the University of South Carolina proposes
the final three go to the most distinguished scholars
first to the one whose golden thesis sits beside her plate
another to a prodigal undeserving Hon D. Litt., the last
to an unassailable Distinguished Professor. The moon
looks down on three tipped-back throats
once tugged by gowns and Gaudeamus notes
processing stagewards to receive the precious oyster.
An Extra Oyster for the Doctors
1 March 2017