Your father

              1)       loves you

              2)       loved you, once
Your father’s

              1)       name is another word for God

              2)       hands are soaked in [REDACTED]
Your father

              1)       recites coordinates in his sleep

              2)       became what they made him to be
Your father was captured

              1)       in the mountains of Afghanistan

              2)       in the deserts of Iraq
He survived torture

              1)       by reciting the firing order of a diesel engine

              2)       in body only
They would break him through

              1)       mock executions

              2)       starvation

              3)       interrogation

              4)       [REDACTED]

              5)       all the above
He was

              1)       19

              2)       22

              3)       younger than you were the first time you attempted suicide
They told your mother

              1)       he was missing

              2)       he was dead
When he returned, you were

              1)       7

              2)       8

              3)       convinced they had sent home a different person

              4)       two of the above
He was released

              1)       to the Red Cross

              2)       in body only
His PTSD is triggered by

              1)       blows to the head

              2)       the frequency of a hydraulic hiss

              3)       the scent of damp wool and kerosene

              4)       [REDACTED]
You would learn to check for explosives

              1)       beneath the car, before entering

              2)       behind the front door, before entering

              3)       in packages, before opening

              4)       in all the above
When they came to the house, you were saved

              1)       by a stranger, who called the police

              2)       because your father wasn’t home

              3)       because even a child can pull a trigger