as burning house: https://theburninghouse.com/





as mourning:
                             The frog dies because it can’t detect the water boiling.

                             Felix no longer wants the slow release of forgetting. He wants

                             something swifter. To more readily mourn. To no longer wait.

                             He goes to Myer to buy a black suit.




as dusk:              https://youtu.be/qRZE77N5woQ?t=9




as malfunctioning microwave:






as goodbye:        https://thoughtcatalog.com/stacey-becker/2015/05/15-rules-you-must-follow-when-saying-goodbye-at-a-party/




as father’s words you’ll always remember:
                              “Be the master of the events.”



as pedagogy: https://www.fluentu.com/blog/chinese/how-to-learn-mandarin-chinese-by-yourself/





as the sun and the moon:






as seance:
                             Felix is sorry you’re gone. He’s making seven phone calls to

                             different people in the underworld trying to make it through.

                             He’s on the phone with Ox-Head and Horse Face, guards of the

                             underworld. They keep trying to finish each other’s sentences.

                             But they’re extremely bad at it. Felix is getting nowhere.




as plans:
                        to be swimming in tomorrow’s pool, tomorrow’s weather

                             today an egg in my hand (a little light escaping the eggshell)

                             will remain burning tomorrow’s things for tomorrow’s dead

                             I should call my mum, tomorrow




as online search to confirm name:






as the physics of waves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc2tW0jFHPo




as grandma’s conversational skills:
             How tall are you?

               And how tall is your brother?

               And how much money do you make?




as memory:
                             Felix steps back into a memory of his childhood. There is Felix

                             and there is a rabbit. Later, he is unsure if it is a memory

                             of the event or a memory of seeing a family video of the event.




as Google-translated title:






as intention:
                           to eat the fruit that will be received

                                 to receive the fruit that will be cut

                                 to give the fruit that will be received

                                 to grow the fruit that will be given




as response to fast-approaching deadline:
                             Felix goes to the beach to look at fish.




as grandma’s conversational skills five minutes later:
             How tall are you?

               How tall is your brother?

               How much money do you make?




as what happened to the blueprint:                                                                   melted by rain.




as family memoir postponement:
                             Felix’s mother drops a vat of soup on his laptop. Everything is gone.

                             He quickly cycles through the stages of grief. Kübler-Ross proposes

                             five stages. Felix reckons there are more.

                             He has since learnt to back up his work.




as what might come after:



as three further questions:
            what if i could remember your face forever

              what if i could think in the language first given to me

              what if i finally downloaded WeChat




as how I felt about it before:
                              Contained in rooms. Rooms, plural, but still rooms.




as zoom call:                                     Felix has been speaking for five minutes and has been

                                                            on mute the whole time.




as paternal love:






as transition from container to possibility:
If there were rooms before I am ready

for passages.

I am ready for roads.

I am ready for horizons I cannot see

beyond.




as unfathomable loss:






as response to whoever left the door ajar:
                                  See above.