I was introduced
to some australians in rome

they were three boys
from the sticks of country victoria
blowing it all
on their big euro trip

3 days a city -
barcelona, rome, paris, amsterdam, etc.

they'd been drinking all day at a dirty beach;
la sporca spiaggia

they'd never attempted the lingo
even made fun of it in front of the locals

they were cocky all right
but terrified inside
and continually talked about australia -

how great it was
how much better than 'here'

they went into the julius caeser bar
where I just happened to be drinking

they stole the bar mascot -
a stuffed turkey above the cash register

they ran around the room
pretending to sodomise it

they forced the barmen
to sell it to them for ‚€50

they threw it in a bin
on the way back to the hostel,

filling the streets with australian phrases
that I thought were as dead as chips rafferty

I was introduced to them

I pretended to be italian.