It's happening again. The number of authentic Malley poems in our special Children of Malley issue continues to dwindle. This could be one of the greatest hoaxes perpetuated on a magazine in Australia since – oh, well, the Angry Penguins. Read on, McDuff.

Spillway, Cliffs and Signals & Circles were all cobbled together by Luke Beesley.

Flannery O'Malley, who supposedly wrote Bitter William, as well as contributing our cover image, is actually Cordite's founding editor Adrian Wiggins. Oh boy.

Lee N. Mylar's How to deal with something that doesn’t happen and The dynamic ribbon device were submitted by Andy Jackson.

Sylvia Malley's bestseller was created by joanne burns.

Veronica Malley is the love-child of Michael Farrell and Michael Farrell. Check out Cruise, Build a House and Bardot for three (now-obvious) reasons why.

Finally, two poems originally attributed to Ern Malley himself, namely Parasol and Hygienic Lily, were both written by M.T.C. Cronin.

The last shreds of Cordite's credibility now rest with Abby S. Malley, Baz Malley, Fleur de Malley, Resole Malley and Ern Malley's Cat.

Heaven help us all.