Let's just keep the good times rollin' and, without further ado, head on over to Adam Ford's responses to the increasingly accurately-named Cordite's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions!

1. “I eat cannibal” ?

Shiny shiny duck down behind me?

2. Are you sitting there?

No, I'm sitting behind you.

3. Is this soup home-made?

That isn't soup.

4. Do you know Jesus?

Do I know Jesus what?

5. When will it all end?

Would you like me to hurry it along for you?

6. If your poetry was a country, which would it be?

The Principality of Hutt River Province.

7. What's the stupidest question you've ever been asked?

Are you eating that?

8. You have been commissioned by the Prime Minister to write a preamble for the Australian constitution. How do you begin? (Just one sentence please)

I'd begin by sub-contracting the gig out to Gary Foley.

9. Would you like to know?

Wouldn't YOU like to know.

10. Sugar or sweetener?

Both.