children laugh unafraid of the past in the summer grass(Keiji Minato)a ladybug of leisure wanders upside-down(Fleur)on a city tram opening to Han Shan's distances(Lorin Ford)cold mountain range plays hidden music(Joseph Mueller)hunting truffles the sow cannot help herself(Ashley Capes)the streets are empty now rumble of a tank(Greg Rochlin)after the lightning strike a ti-tree blooms in halves(Rhonda Poholke)a divorced mother bungee jumps(Aldia)tattooed on the back of her neck a howling Jesus(David G. Lanoue)a cardboard alphabet tacked to backyard trees(Joseph Mueller)our renga booklet- the wind turns leaf after leaf and the moon reads it(Vasile Moldovan)the players rehearse on Prospero's isle(Lorin Ford)after midnight it all goes topsy-turvy(Genevieve Osborne)youtube koalas munch on pixel gum leaves(David Prater)cross-species kindness - a fireman offers his water bottle(Anne Elvey)morning meditation a crow disrupts my shadow(Graham Nunn)garden lilac unfurling at the tempo of its fragrance(Origa)our postman arrives - pitter-patter tin drum(Michael Roper)
This is Part 2 of Free Haikunaut Renga. Comments for this post have now been closed.
For a summary of Cordite's haikunaut renga project, please read this post. Haikunauts are go!
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a strong line
the crop duster dives
hmm….actually, not sure this links very well
Hi, welcome to the second half of the Haikunaut Island Renga.
Thank for your ku for the 17th on the previous page. However, it seems to me this is the best chance to throw in one of my own, so please allow me to put mine after Barbara's.
I hope more new faces will join in. You don't need to read all the comments on the previous page! Just read through the 16 ku in the first half to get the groove, and then you are ready. We need your contributions to keep the flow alive!
Of course, you can keep on posting your ku and comments, regulars!
listening to Pink Floyd
still on the hit list /bt
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass /km
another scorcher
on the tarmac in Kabul
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
a tall woolly butt
hides the sea-eagle's nest
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
Keiji Minato
two blue butterflies
head over ears in love
or
dandelion seed floating
in the even breeze
or
soap bubbles bursting
in a thousand bits
Vasile Moldovan
#2 offer:
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
wide in the midnight sky
a powerful owl
#3
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the sumner grass (Keiji Minato)
dandelion seeds -
blow one o'clock two o'clock
Or, perhaps changing #2:
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
wide wings in the night sky
a powerful owl
or
silent wings in the night sky
a powerful owl
hmmm….I'm thinking – where is everyone? Has there been some terrible cataclysmic event in cyberspace?
I hope you all come back soon! GO.
Hi all,
Lovely reading everyone's contributions.
I particularly like josh's “another scorcher…”; Vasile's “two blue butterflies…” and your “dandelion seeds-/blow one oÄôclock two oÄôclock” Genevieve O.
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a tiger snake basks
on the open road
a first date
only our fingers meet
how far can you spit
a watermelon pit?
Anne, Hello – and thank you for your comment.
Hi Keiji – welcome back – and I'm so pleased to see you are included – and such a wonderful piece – returns me there (to childhood)
Here's my contribution –
can't hide from the phantom
…yesterday's ghost
or
Wimmera wheat crop
cockatoo song
or
blue moon shone over Birchip
once
Thanks Rhonda! I too like your wimmera ku, and also Fleur's ladybug ku and Anne's tiger snake ku too!
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
Hi keiji – please consider this version of previous ku
a blue moon shone
over Birchip once
I love Genevieve's 'dandelion seeds' – reads beautifully and makes great connections with the previous ku. Also a big fan of Rhonda's 'wheat crop' – really jumps around in the mouth and keeps the thematic momentum moving…
Hi everyone – happy 'April fools' day to you all – and Michael I appreciate your comment – waiting to see your ku – and Ashley I think your ku does follow on – very nice – I like your watermelon ku Anne – and 'a lady bug of leisure' Fleur
listening to Pink Floyd
still on the hit list (Barbara A Taylor)
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
the buddha rests a hand
on his bent knee
Thank you Michael for your very nice comments.
I like Vasile's 'two blue butterflies', Anne's 'first date' and Rhonda's 'Wimmera wheat crop'.
Hi Rhonda – Happy April Fools' Day to you too – have you been fooled? I remember when Dick Smith towed an iceberg into Sydney harbour very early one April Fools' morning. People came from far and wide to have a look, all the radio stations took it up and the navy offered him their moorings for it! He said he was going to cut it up into ice cubes and sell them……it was actually fire fighting foam and shaving cream. It fooled Sydney!
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
a garden hose sprays
rainbows against the hill's hoist
deafening cicadas
break the eerie silence
yes we can …
moving with possibilities
hi everyone!
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
beneath her smile
someone is
growing
thought I'd add 2 this time, as I don't think the first one has the right line structure
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
a circle of skin
warmth and
the ultrasound
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass (Keiji Minato)
he hears hesitates
but then his need
red and orange
wraps itself around
the golden paddock
the hat dissappears
in the ponds embrace
On Benzedrine
Jack Kerouac
Wild eyed
Seize the road
his Remington
keys
firestone
wheels
Hi, everyone. Here comes the 18th ku of our renga. It is Fleur's
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
After the previous verses, which have strong human elements,
it sounds so light and gentle. Okay, the next ku is a three-liner.
Thanks, Jenn and Dan, for your ku and poems. Kerouac is my
favorite haiku writer!
All day long
wearing a hat
that wasn't on my head. (Jack Kerouac)
Hi Fleur – your lady bug ku is so lovely – Genevieve, for the whole day I missed being 'April fooled' – I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed – I didn't see much 'fooling' going on locally but in Melbourne several cars in the streets were glad-wrapped, which must have taken quite a while – I remember Dick Smith's iceberg
Interesting where this process leads you ..
she glances
her cheeks look round
in the street window
g'day all
hmm, we have quite a few insects in this renga: crickets, cockroaches and laydbirds…
I do like Fleur's ku.
here are my offerings:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down (Fleur)
humpty dumpty
had a great fall
on his head
two weeks' admiring
her lipstick and red nails
on the cruise liner
coffee mornings
with the Toorak mob
seven days a week
along the mountain
she glances
her cheeks look round
in the street window
(Rochlin)
worlds fall around us
yet all we see is our love
our selfish bond
so here we are again
minds on our screens
creating pastiche
or
a jasmine climbs over
next door's gate post
to tease their dog
or
down by the olive grove
is a leaf strewn path
you might consider
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down (Fleur)
the rain sigh song
of sequoias
lulls little
owl to sleep
mouse ghosts
dance
thanks to keiji for gently drawing attention to the human element – encouraged an immediate and restful exercise to write only of non human life
Hi all, nice to be back.
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down (Fleur)
spots of rain
on the window
someone's heart
a low sun
creeping over the garden wall
autumn leaves
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
love letters
on the wings of wind…
no answer
(Vasile Moldovan)
Hi lorin, love your rubber duck ku!
Hi all, I am back after two days without Internet, feeling rusty
Hopefully I can catch up with all your wonderful ku and discussion… May I suggest one now:
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
she grunts
while hunching to pick
showy toadstools
(Origa)
over and over
a feather
falling
sung
before time
Antipodes
oh, please ignore my along the mountain at the end of my offerings.
thankyou.
Hello again everyone… I've just found the link to page #2, tonight [duh] Was checking the END of p #1 for further message from you or David.
Delightful ku ,Fleur… I can see that blade of grass bending over slightly with the small weight of that ladybird if I lay down in Keiji's grass.
Keiji… I love the phrasing, 'the past/ in the summer grass' [not just the laughing children] It brings to mind not only Basho's famous 'summer grasses/ all that's left of warrior's dreams' but also Carl Sandburg's 'Grass' and Wyslawa Szymborska's 'The End and the Beginning'.
If there's time tomorrow I'll try again, but will whip a quick one in before my bed-time:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
creek rapids
a rubber duck
rights itself
Thanks Lorin! Yes, I have seen the details of the comp, and thought I ought to mention it here, but you're a jump ahead of me so I'll wait on the moderation process
(also, I really like your 'snapper run' ku on the dreaming site)
Like lorin I've just found this page too.
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
fly away home
where streets of chimneys stand
in mute witness /Kathy Earsman
.
Hi jenn – hope you don't mind me mentioning that – the ku needs to be either 3 lines or 2 lines depending where we are up to – 3 lines this time – your rain sigh ku is lovely
'morning Kathy… you've pipped me to the post with 'fly away home'
… but I still have this one:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
a dark wind
streaked with the red
of flying embers
I can see that Anne's (feather) links with a nice touch of upsidedownness ( is that a word?), and has a certain amount of leisure, too. — I finally got your antipodes one, very nice – songlines …
Hi Greg…hmmm, 'songlines'…Bruce Chatwin. I liked the book, but some of it is sheer fiction.
But you remind me! 'haiku dreaming australia' has a current haiku competition which anybody is welcome to enter. No entry fees, $200 1st prize, $100 2nd prize. $50 3rd prize and commended awards:
http://users.mullum.com.au/jbird/dreaming/ozku-about-comp.html
It's a good idea to read through the haiku on the site and John Bird's essays before submitting:
http://users.mullum.com.au/jbird/dreaming/ozku.html
Hi Ashley… thanks
I love this one of yours:
beneath her smile
someone is
growing
I just made a post re 'haiku dreaming australia'…for some reason it's not gone through…message 'awaiting moderation'. But I know you're familiar with John's site. Go & check it!
or this
down by the olive grove
is a cobblestone path
you might consider
Hi Keiji – the 'cobblestone' path version of my ku is instead of 'leaf strewn' path in the last one
… sorry, I've revised my 2nd submission…from:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
a dark wind
streaked with the red
of flying embers
to:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
Black Saturday
streaked with the red
of flying embers
Hi Everyone,
I've been away from the computer for a couple of days, nice to come back to a ladybug and 'upsidedownness'.
My suggestion:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down (Fleur)
cocktails at the Top
of the Rock
polka dots and Tarte Tatin
Hi all,
Thanks Greg, for your close reading of my ku. Nice.
There are lots of lovely possibilities. I, too, like your “beneath her smile…” Ashley, and Lorin's “rubber ducks” and I think Vasile your “love letters” is apt…Kathy's “streets of chimneys” could evoke all sorts of connections from English's towns, to paper mills, to some of Europe's most horrific history. Rhonda's self-referential “minds on our screens” is interesting, too.
And so many others…
Thanks, Keiji! Happy that you liked that one! I think you're right, it does link back a bit far perhaps. I'd be happy to slow down and throw in one more for consideration.
I really like Lorin's 'rubber ducks' and also Sandra's 'heat wave'
Ok, my 3rd shot at this link:
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
just after rain
up from the cemetary
a rainbow
actually, that one has too many breaks in the reading rhythm I think, but I can't come up with a decent variant, too tired today!
(referring to mine that is, not Greg's!)
Hi, everyone. Thank you for all your contributions, but…
This time I'd like to urge you to submit more ku.
I think the best possibilities among the ku above are:
beneath her smile
someone is
growing (Ashley)
creek rapids
a rubber duck
rights itself (lorin)
However, both seem too connected with “children” two ku above.
(It may be my fault, bringing up the image of kids: kids & babies
are always difficult to use in poetry, since nobody denies they are
valuable themselves and…) In short, it seems to me the flow of
this renga (not your ku themselves!) is getting a bit inactive.
There are some other ku that appealed to me to some extent,
but they seem to lack of something that can be linked effectively
with the flow so far. This might be due to my reading ability, I admit,
but let me wait for more canditates to arrive for another day.
Furthermore, we kind of rushed in the first half, so it might be good
to change paces for the latter half, don't you agree?
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass /km
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down /Fleur
Time is the stream
I go fishing in – its bottom
pebbly with stars. / HD Thoreau
Hi Keiji,
I love “Time is the stream…” but wonder if it links too much to “the past” two ku earlier?
A couple more…
does meaning
holiday in the spaces
of the page?
slowly
in the bookcase trees
settle into stories
Hello Keiji,
I like your idea of pace. Basho said haiku should be written “in an instant, like a woodcutter felling a huge tree or a swordsman leaping at a dangerous enemy”. But editing and revision are also always good!
heat wave -
she wants her wedding ring
cut off
or
ripe wheat
on the old battleground
someone whistles
This one was written at Vailima, Robert Louis Stevenson's home in Samoa, but could equally be dedicated to any of the haiku masters:
at the poet's house
a wind tunes up
the bamboo
I very much appreciate your gentle way of teaching us, Keiji.
…another go:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
This is a fairly recent revision of an older poem of mine. Prompted my Lorin's latest image, I thought I'd share it.
sudden river Äì
in the tram rails
my thoughts surge
I am finding this process helpful and inspiring. I think the online way of participating in a renga might also be great for turning school kids onto poetry… not that I'm working in a school but still have an interest.
I'll have another try too -
in a jet-away mood
she discovers
the rainbow's end
inside this mud ball
will there be
love's milky white opal?
water gurgles
around rocks
a shooting star
ps..I have just now googled and found that Han Shan is known in Japan as “Kanzan.” Sometimes, in English translations, his name is given as 'Han-Shan'.
OK something different –
round table magicians
a wave of the hand
money flows backwards
ummm – I don't like 'rainbow's end' in mine – can I change it? to
in a jet-away mood
she discovers
the Zambezi's beginning
…another go:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
ÄòMen at WorkÄô
at the freeway exit Äì
April Fools Day
mmmm just wanted to say that my verse re chimneys links to the Victorian fires.
Remember
Ladybird ladybird
fly away home
your house is on fire
and your children alone.
There's a List Of Topics and Materials for renga; scan down to find it here:
http://renku.home.att.net/Link_Shift.html
I looked at 'recent event,' 'calamity,' 'pity' and a few more for this one.
Sorry if this is out of line.
K
PS Hi lorin! –waves–
Hi Ashley – I really like your rainbow ku – and Anne's 'sudden river' – also Sandra's 'poets house'ku – and Lorin, your 'duck' ku too I like – might it work (if Keiji considers it has a child theme) with 'young duck' or just 'duck' – as couldn't a real duck be caught in a sudden surge of rapids?
Naia if you are out there, I loved your poems and your wonderful art pieces – I want to ask you – which came first, the words or the paintings? Such vibrancy
a short one, building on Ashley's imagery.
dustwet ridges
in the cemetery's
rain
Hi Lorin – I hope you don't mind me making a comment on your ku – my apologies if I've overstepped -
another one:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
Palm Sunday Äì
vagrant clouds drift
to the city
… and also offering this combination of a couple of earlier two-liners:
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
blind alley
his white cane taps
across graffiti
Hi Rhonda… our little native Black Ducks are pretty good at 'surfing' the local creek rapids. Never seen one capsize
… but with stronger rapids… You're right, though. It crossed my mind, too, that a different subject, such as a kayak, might work. So here's what I came up with…changing the mood altogether:
creek rapids
the empty kayak
rights itself
The connection is still with 'wandering/ traveling/ going from place to place', via Fleur's ladybird.
hi Kathy
well… your 'fly away home' ladybird nursery rhyme line does link with children, though it leads to the aftermath of Black Saturday.
mantids
swaying and praying
alone
Dear Kathy,
Sorry I missed the fires link when I mentioned your ku above. Of course the ladybird rhyme should have pointed me there.
As Keiji and Lorin have noted, it's hard not to link backward to the children … or the grasses of the previous ku.
I see Lorin's post about haiku dreaming is now through. Yes, I had reservations about Chatwin's Songlines when I read it some years ago, and wasn't directly referencing that with “sung/before time” … which I guess was a reference to “sung country” now and a different kind of time that arrived with European colonisation — but probably too much to say in a few short words.
Hi all, can't quite keep up recently! But thanks for mentioning my rainbow ku!
Hi Lorin, I think the kayak version is just as strong as the original!
Just noticed, I wrote dear Kathy over the whole message above, the last part refers to Lorin's and Greg's comments and my earlier response to Greg.
Good that in Melbourne we get an extra hours sleep tonight!
g
Thanks for mentioning my Ladybird/fire verse, Anne. I hadn't noticed the links with children, so well spotted (like the Ladybird.) That's what a sabaki is for; it is too easy to unconsciously repeat something.
I had to smile at your concern re addressing your letter to me. Hopefully lorin and Gregg won't mind.
Enjoy your extra hour!
K
'morning Anne
Now that you've explained:
“Äúsung/before timeÄù Ķ which I guess was a reference to Äúsung countryÄù now and a different kind of time that arrived with European colonisation”
I wonder if there's a way you might distinguish time from..what?…clock time? It's tricky, isn't it?
This is a published one of mine; having 'dream time' in two words to distinguish it from 'Dreamtime', yet suggest it, is deliberate:
a dream time
before theirs and mine -
Wollemi Pine
Am I right in recalling that Bruce Chatwin [an Englishman] coined the term 'songlines'? Not a bad coinage, and quite evocative, but when taken as if it were some kind of translation of something from one of the Koori/ Murri languages, somewhat iffy?
Hi Kathy, I guess you didn't read my post, almost directly above Anne's.
A pity that Fleur's ku has the US-English term 'ladybug' instead of the UK & AUS, 'ladybird'… I might've submitted:
the heat!
a passing parade
of budgie smugglers
…. actually, I will, just for the hell of it
… 'ladybug'/ 'ladybird'… we all know it's the same creature… neither a bug nor a bird, but a beetle.
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
the heat!
a passing parade
of budgie smugglers
The renga began with David's regional vernacular 'flub-a-dub' : it'd be in keeping to follow somewhere in the renga with another regional vernacular expression, this time from the Southern Hemisphere. [That's my story, anyway and I'm sticking to it
]
Hi Lorin – 'the empty kayak' – that does change the mood – so now I ask – where is the kayak's owner? I like both of your versions
Hi Anne – I agree with you that this on-line input is a good tool for learning – I'm finding it especially so, being a country writer.
this ku I changed – again
inside this mud ball
will I find
my milky white opal?
“so now I ask – where is the kayakÄôs owner?” Rhonda
Hi, Rhonda, yes, indeed…that is the question
lorin
Hi Keiji – one more offer
a gold scarab
on a black cat's chest
running
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down (Fleur)
sharing the sun–
my longest is
your shortest
or
in flooded fields
splintered hulls
of capsized boats
or
along the track
a frill-neck lizard
in yoga pose
Hi, everyone.
josh, thank you for throwing in Thoreau's ku(?):
Time is the stream
I go fishing in – its bottom
pebbly with stars. / HD Thoreau
This is certainly a good English haiku! I'm wondering what great works would
have come out if great poets in the past had known the form. You can find
superb haiku in their poems as josh did! It's an idea to choose this one, but…
*
All right, this time it's really tough for me to choose because there are too
many good choices… I like lorin's contributions best:
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
creek rapids
the empty kayak
rights itself
ÄòMen at WorkÄô
at the freeway exit Äì
April Fools Day
Mmm, which should I choose… The last one is comical and a nice follow-up
for Fluer's, but a roadsign appeared in our 2nd (Naia's) ku. The second one
takes over the “upside-down” theme from Fleur's, in a totally different context.
Simple but clever. I kind of like the first one best, but do you find it a bit
hard to connect it to the flow so far?
I found that on this point the renga has so many kinds of resonance, which
makes my task a pretty hard one. Okay…, I'll make a bet on:
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
How do you read the link? I like to see Han Shan's name alongside with that
of Pink Floyd three ku above!
Google Book Search (http://books.google.com/) shows you a good amount
of Han-Shan's works with good commentaries, it seems.
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
aphids and ants
miniture and magnificent
Hi all,
Thanks for the nice comments on my ku – been away for the weekend in “the big smoke” (Auckland in this case) and yes, we too have had an extra hour of sleep last night. The last government extended our daylight saving by another couple of weeks and it's been magic this year – blue skies, hot days (cool nights and mornings though) and just the very first hint of colour coming in the leaves.
Nice ku in the renga, Lorin, well done.
jaywalking -
autumn leaves
these flowers I cannot name
so blue anyway
Hello Keiji,
I like the link between the last two ku:
“Leisure” leads nicely to reading a book on a tram, which can also be seen as leisure – a long journey and plenty of time – or can be seen as “squeezing in” some leisure to an otherwise busy day. And don't we all know how that feels?
I see ladybirds, just because of their name, as feminine so make the reader of the poems a woman too and that also works because women have careers, run househols for their families, do volunteer work, etc.
Sorry, I may not have explained that very well, but I'm sure you understand my drift.
Looking up Han Shan, I can see his foot-deformity (supposed) might be represented as giving an upside-down walk. Also he was upside-down in his tendency to simplify the poetic rules.
While I was out and about today I thought again about the kayak: it's got a sinister aspect. Also 'kayak' is a back-to-front word, it rights (writes) itself.
I've had ladybugs on the brain. I came up with another topical link, for your amusement, although no longer a candidate -
all round the house
the clocks are waiting
their backwards turn
Cheers
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
under a high cool moon
she pleases him
one more time
under the river stones
a yabby knits her supper
ack! take out “the” in river stones – sorry I do these off the top of my head online
Hi Keiji and all
Delayed response, but … I am thrilled to have my ladyb*** ku part of this amazing renga. Thanks so much for all the kind and thoughtful comments. I liked the contrast between 'lady' and 'bug' – 'ladies' not supposed to be bug-like – but perhaps the Australian/English 'ladybird' would have been neater and more appropriate.
I love the flow on to Lorin's evocative ku. I also saw the ladybird/bug/beetle as feminine, Sandra, and can picture 'her' on the tram. And reading about Han Shan, it seems nice to think of him upside down like Greg says but wandering calmly and steadily in his own path and opening up new ones in the distance …
Fleur
Hi Keiji and All,
here's a possible ku to follow:
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
–
drunk, my fingerprints
look special
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
(Lorin Ford)
the grey frog watches
as mud dries
not sure whether the idea of a frog is repreating too much haiku history, but it's all I have at the moment
and maybe using grey as the link to the city isn't enough? actually, it doesn't seem to have much of a shift from the previous kus
Really like David's drunken fingerprints too!
Here's a second go at the next link
children laugh
unafraid of the past
in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
(Lorin Ford)
a long walk
orange-peel breadcrumbs
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
a final flight
to Kubrick's bedroom
my grandfather's mountains
now mine
(Sandra Simpson)
verbum
sapienti
sat, what?
Keiji, thank you very much! I'm honoured, indeed…and also so happy that you chose that particular one, as it is the one of mine that I feel personally closest to and which to my mind has more depth in the linkages/connections to Fleur's ku than my other submissions.
“…but do you find it a bit hard to connect it to the flow so far?: Keiji
I also wondered whether anyone would understand how it connects with both Fleur's, immediately above, and the flow of the renga so far. I am so pleased that you sensed that it does, and am delighted to read everyone else's musings. A great way to learn!
David… beyond feeling most honoured that you've responded to my ku, I'm smiling and smiling at your:
drunk, my fingerprints
look special
Apart from the context of Han Shan, I'm astonished that you seem to be so familiar with Melbourne trams that it might've been 'you' I encountered on the tram on my way home last night [and many, many other times]
Many thanks, Sandra, Greg and Fleur for you comments. Very happy that you like the ku, too.
Hi Lorin – another wonderful ku – another smile for you from me -
lorin
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances (Lorin Ford)
horror and grief falls
over those empty spaces
reading instant rice recipes
over her shoulder
his cheery email
closes the gap
Hi all,
thanks Lorin for sharing your published dream time/Woolemi Pine ku — wonderful. There is so much in it, not only the post-colonial relationship but also the hope for something unexpected and new in the (re-)discovery of the ancient Woolemi Pine. I don't know if Chatwin coine the term “songlines”.
I like the sequence from Keiji's, through Fleur's to Lorin's ku and both David's and Greg's offerings in response are great. It's a bit hard to keep track of the whole renga though with it now on two pages, so I am copying and pasting it into a doc, so that I can keep going back to it more easily.
Will offer a response or two below.
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
(Lorin Ford)
Sorry hit the wrong button before I had added my offerings… here goes…
from Everest the Buddha
spots the tower of Babel
at Heathrow Customs
dawn rubs its eyes
and although we may have had enough Australian images… one more…
a thousand Nullarbor miles
and one rusty swing
Hi all – here's my offering to follow Lorin's '….distances'
violet animations
waken universes
a strand of her hair
drifts to the floor
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances
(Lorin Ford)
my grandfather's mountains
now mine
the sound of applause
in the trees
Hi Sandra,
I love “the sound of applause/in the trees” …
o, Sandra… this tugs at me:
“my grandfatherÄôs mountains
now mine”
One day, I swear, I'll be over there to at least look at your mountains from a distance. They are magnificent…and wild, just from what I've seen from photos and film. Isn't the world odd? The world's youngest country [geologically speaking] next door to the world's oldest… Meanwhile, the small and ridiculous details of a small life: yesterday I visited an old friend in the hills, and wandered all over dry paddocks just beginning to get a thin film of green again in patches, patting horses, staring back at kangaroos etc. and lost one of my special paua shell crescent moon earrings. Could've lost it on the train, trams, in the paddocks, anywhere…but he found it in his car! Now he has posted it to me…to a non-existent address! Down to the PO I go first thing in the morning to try to intercept it!
another one to follow Lorin's '…distances'
a small piece of blue
sky
Hi Anne…I was just hoping it might help, somehow, with the 'time' problem.
I hope we might catch up some time in person again… remember our times at 'The Grove' etc fondly.
Anne, your Buddha for me has a strong feel to it, with its two towering Bs. I also respond to Sandra's applause one – it seems to have a good link, but I don't really know why.
Hi! I'd love to work on another renga series in another group after this one, perhaps we could organise something interactive through wordpress? or a 'group' thing with yahoo? etc
Also, thought I'd add how much I liked Joseph's 'hidden music' ku
Hi Everyone,
Lorin, I really like your ku.
Have been away again – to a wonderful country wedding – the bride and groom on a jumping castle!
Many things to talk about, but for the moment thinking of distance to follow Lorin's ku:
on a city tram
opening to Han Shan's
distances (Lorin Ford)
do the tails of comets
point away from the sun?
or
beyond the solar wind
the music of the spheres
Love, Lorin's 'distances”: here's a possible ku to add….I took the piece into a more human interaction:
Father returns
cradling brother
all is homecoming
or
leaves turn in the wind
the moon sings alto-high
now is welcome
Hi Lorin,
So nice to know when a poem finds resonance with someone else … and I hope you find your earring (it's a great story, though).
For a long time paua shell (abalone shell for other readers) was considered quite naff, but went through an inexplicable resurgance some 20 years ago and is now regarded as a thing of beauty, which indeed it is.
On holiday at the beach this summer my husband found a kina (sea urchin) on the beach that was still alive. He carefully (not least because of its spines) took it back into the water and placed it near some rocks, returning with a big smile and a lovely paua shell that he'd found while putting it back. We thought Tangaroa (god of the sea) was acknowledging his good deed with a gift!
The little mysteries of life are indeed wonderful.
Sure thing, David
#2 go:
plains of sastrugi
stretching from the ice ridge
or
hard pulling across
the plains of sastrugi
#3
… or perhaps for the comet one:
on a city tram
opening to Han Shan's
distances (Lorin Ford)
they say comets' tails
point away from the sun
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down /fleur
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances /lf
this morning glory
curled in on itself
Hi Lorin,
Yes I remember the Grove days, esp. Baba Yaga's house! I can ask Cordite to send you my email address (not over this public forum) if you like? I looked for your book in Collected Works last week, but they were sold out it seems… I think I saw one by Rhonda there, though? Next time, perhaps.
or
a ladybug of leisure
wanders upside-down/ fleur
on a city tram
opening to Han Shan's
distances/ lorin
notice the poems
painted on rocks
the trees one can read
whose hand
holds the brush?
Hi keiji – please excuse my last attempt – its not atall what I thought it to be -I am enclined to rush into things – and still I'm trying to find that delicate strength of the ku – I hope you will accept this version – as being someway improved
the next stop
a patch of blue
Sorry, I forgot we were on the two line kus. In keeping with Han Shan's reign, I submit:
cold mountain range
plays hidden music
or
rocks, trees, faces
poems unwritten
Hi Anne – yes you would have seen my book – I had a launch at CW late last year – the book (or rather the pioneer woman it is written about) has consumed me for at least 20 years – and still she continues – in a most positive way -I too like your buddha ku and Josh's 'morning glory' ku – and Genevieve's 'comet' also Sandra's both 'applause' and 'mountains' – Lorin I hope you can retrieve the earing – I too lost a favourite one – twice! then I lost it for the third time never to be found again – I did have 2 chances to take more care -
(as was the case with me, not looking after them, between work etc)
Hi Anne… yes, we must find a way to get each other's email addresses…. all of us involved in the 'haikunauts' renga.
If you want to phone CW, you could ask Kris or Retta to give you my phone number, or leave yours or yr email address with Kris for me? I still have a few copies of my little book.
Hi Rhonda… you don't want to know the saga
… but I'm lucky today, the regular postie has returned from hols today and remembered my name. Absolutely no thanks to the Australia Post 'help line'.
ps, if you wanted my email address, too, you could get it via Ross Donlon. It'd be nice to be in contact after this renga, don't you think?
Hi Sandra… the paua is no ordinary abalone shell… the others pale into pastel insignificance
Beautiful, indeed…and special.
lorin
Hi David, no probs, I understand! Really enjoying the process, it's fantastic. Pushes me to do better on my haiku
“perhaps we could organise something interactive through wordpress? or a ÄògroupÄô thing with yahoo? etc” Ashley
Great ideas, Ashley. I'd like to be in that, too. Just don't make it something that a Luddite like me can't access
lorin
Hi all,
it's great to see our Haikunaut renga is attracting so many comments – but can I make a request that private conversations be continued off this page?
We'd really like to encourage as many people as possible to be involved in the writing of the renga – the more ku we collect here, the easier (or harder?) the choice becomes for Keiji!
David
Thanks Ashley – and please don't get me wrong, the haiku stream being created here is awesome.
My apologies, David…point taken
Will stick with ku and comments that relate to ku.
lorin
no need to apologise -
youtube koala
I am not very sure of the rules but I will try to join in.
I think we are up to 3 lines
the last one was about rocks and stones and poems unwritten?
here goes
computer is whining
traffic on the highway
upstairs the husband sleeps
looking for meadow grass
the woman in cyber space
receives four replies
Hi, guys. Thank you for all the superb ku again.
To Lorin's call, I think, Joseph's two contributions respond best:
cold mountain range
plays hidden music
rocks, trees, faces
poems unwritten
Perhaps, we should drop the latter because there appeared two poets:
Han-Shan and a poet with a hippo. Maybe too much self-reference…
So let me choose the former for the 22nd.
Thank you, Jennifer, for your ku. You can add yours to the ku, not in
the comments, but the ku above in the main part of the page. Anyway,
I chose Joseph's, so your contributions are now candidates for the 23rd ku,
all right!
Hi David,
thanks for your reminder, will keep it to the ku and comments… it's a great process.
a species shivers
with orchestral
possibility
Thanks, Ashley, for your comments on my ku.
Keiji, I am honored to be included in this wonderful, creative, renga. Everyone's kus are so evocative! But I really think Lorin scored a coup with her Han Shan/distance reference.
Are we on two or three line kus now?
on a city tram
opening to Han ShanÄôs
distances /lf
cold mountain range
plays hidden music /jm
who are we
when everything else
falls away?
Nice ku, Josh! My thought is that this ku, with its “falling away” might work better toward the end of the renga. I always thought the middle 24 or so ku were more playful, but perhaps I am misinformed.
This process could even become addictive. Thinking of mountains still, the following came to mind
The trees before us
seem taller than the mountains
observed from afar
cold mountain range
plays hidden music (Joseph Mueller)
bagpipes
another wounded soldier
returning home
avon calling…
beaut blonde at my door
with a bag of tricks
self empowerment
learning new steps
at the masked ball
Just for fun:
instruments blow
pluck, strum, toot, hum
a raven croaks
or
a peek-a-boo bird
pretends affront
—humppf!
Hi David – my apologies too for getting off track – and congrats to Cordite on a wonderful renga session – its opening me/us to a universe of possiblities
here's my thoughts to follow -
'cold mountain range
plays hidden music' (JM)
Bach reads the score
on fugues
….eleven sons
listening to
wheat pop ears, and bees
in the yellow box
cold mountain range
plays hidden music /JM
a thrush lands
in a small dark bush
a twig snaps
sand trickles
through a skull's
eye socket
I like this better -
listening
to wheat ears pop, and bees
in the yellow box
I don't know, Rhonda. I am really taken by your first version: “wheat pop ears”. Plus, the “bees/ in the yellow box” is so precious! Shades of William Carlos Williams. Lovely.
Hi everyone!
cold mountain range
plays hidden music
(Joseph Mueller)
along the tabletop
old hands
sand away
This is a slightly changed recent poem of mine, to develop Joseph's lovely ku — I hope it worls as a reverberation (“hibiki”) link:
cold mountain range
plays hidden music
(Joseph Mueller)
no hang glider
stretched hands and legs
on the wind
or
off the cliff…
stretched hands and legs
on the wind
(well, I would rather use this already recognized haiku:
off the cliffĶ
flying to the very core
of being
– but I think it's against renga rules to use published haiku…?)
And this is the source of inspiraition: http://tinyurl.com/7sn3h2
Sorry I am having troubles to post comments — they don't appear on the page, so I have to stop now… More later, hopefully.
cold mountain range
plays hidden music
(JM)
torrential rain -
all night the clatter
of a deer scarer
resting -
me &
the lichen-covered rock
Oh, sorry I've already written a rock ku that is part of the renga! So please ignore that one, and I think I'll revise the other to this, as deer scarer is difficult to say well in English:
first rains -
all night the clatter
of a shishi odoshi
training the pine branch
into shape -
the smell of the rope
Hi Origa,
I think any post that contains a link to another site is “moderated” and will appear once the site has been checked.
BTW, thanks for that link. It's breath-taking and congratulations on your prize-winning “off the cliff” ku.
Hi Sandra, and thanks for the congrats and for your kind words!
Yes, my comments had links to other sites, and hopefully the one that's not yet here, will finally come through…
The first one is here already.
i wanted to say that reading the unfolding renga makes my heart sing — it is so inspiring! And a great learning experience, too. Thank you, Keiji san, and all of you fellow haijin!
Sandra, I forgot to say about the film — yes, it's just unbelievable, isn't it? I would so much want to try it! If I could only overcome the fear, hehe
Okay, I give up, and send the comment with the link stripped.
Lorin, even a little bit late, but thanks for your splendid ku — it prompted me to read about Han Shan (this particular site by Michael P. Garofalo has great info: (here should be the link) I can appreciate your poem much better now!
Reading the unfolding renga makes my heart sing — it is so inspiring! And a great learning experience, too. Thank you, Keiji san, and all of you fellow haijin!
Sandra, I really like your ku:
torrential rain -
all night the clatter
of a deer scarer
As for the revision to “shishi odoshi” — as someone who doesn't know Japanese, I find it rather difficult to grasp… But it's probably just my ignorance…
Hi Rhonda, what an interesting image here:
sand trickles
through a skullÄôs
eye socket
I think it could lead us to a fabulous story!
Hi Origa, and all,
Yes, I should have explained earlier that comments containing more than one link are held in moderation (it's a common characteristic of spam that it contains vast numbers of links) and later deleted. So no need to post multiple times! Very happy for you to share a link, one at a time of course!
Thanks for the explanation, David, I'll keep it in mind. I just thought that something wrong with my comp, so I tried many times in different ways… sorry
Hi Joseph – I appreciate your comment – I'm not sure myself – as I re read them -which sounds the clearest – and thank you Origa for your comment on my skull ku -
and I agree with you – it also makes my heart sing – each time I go through, not just the renga itself so far, but all the contributions, there is so much to see, so many wonderful images
one more shot at it!
(I was struck by your 'resting' ku, Sandra, I think it could still fit somewhere in the chain?)
cold mountain range
plays hidden music
(Joseph Mueller)
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
(oh my, I just realise how ambiguous that haiku is! sorry, not meant to refer to chocolate or (human) women! sorry!)
a glacier takes
its time
takes its time
Wow, so many good ku to select one from… but let me choose a bit comical one here. The preceding two ku plus one more big nature scene might make the flow too “poetic”. One contrast in a renga is between humans and nature, and another is that between “poetic” (ga ÈõÖ) and “comical” or “mundane” (zoku øó). Getting too deep into one side will kill the flow of a renga.
Ashley's
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
takes over the theme of hidden-ness from Joseph's ku and turns it into one in a totally different tone. (I don't think it's ambiguous. The sow here is clearly a female hog. Does everyone agree?)
I like Greg's
a thrush lands
in a small dark bush
a twig snaps
and Rhonda's
sand trickles
through a skullÄôs
eye socket
too. Both are wonderful pieces that have a sense of classic Japanese haiku.
Thanks for the video of the flying men, Origa. Oh, what crazy guys!
Hi Ashley – congratulations – I've just read your truffle ku – and its kind of growing on me – (no not like a truffle) yes I do like 'hunting truffles/the sow/ cannot help herself' – very clever – different – how to continue from this one?
Nice ku, Ashley!
Rhoda, sometimes it's not the clearest words that work, but the most imagisitic or evocative.
Can't wait to read what everyone has to submit for the next ku!
Wow, thank you so much! that's fantastic news, Keiji! Really happy to have one in the renga
And I'm glad it linked so well and shifted enough! (and also am happy that it does read in the context I intended)
Thanks Rhonda and Joseph! Glad you liked that one, I think the mountains made me think of animals and then truffles came to mind for some reason, odd how the mind links things.
I like Barbara's 'mirror' ku and Rhonda's 'trampled' ku is great, and so too is Sandra's 'walnut' ku and Anne's sweeping shift with her 'summer' ku.
This is so much fun!
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself (Ashley Capes)
consternation
have her jodhpurs shrunk?
or
relief from a pill
with a cup of green tea
or
in the mirror
her mother winks
Oops – I've just realised my previous wheat ku with 'listening' – the same word as Barbara's 'listening to pink Floyd' – sorry Barbara and everyone – I'd now possibly change my ku to 'hearing wheat' – Joseph I think this would be the answer to my
indecision too
to follow Ashley's
'hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself'
from the mouth of indulgence
infernal rumblings
or
trampled melons
a rifle shot
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
(AC)
walking home barefoot
a silk ribbon in her hand
high in the tree
my cousin throws walnuts
Hi Keiji – I believe you said that renga can have several 'love' themes – with that in mind I submit -
crashing through the bracken
bold boar with amour
Hi Sandra – I really like your 'high in the tree/my cousin throws walnuts' – magnificent – not only that tree but your ku
Thank you Rhonda – that cousin is now over 60! I still recall vividly the day he showered my father (who is really his cousin, but quite a bit older) and his aunt with walnuts. Both my dad and my great-aunt have passed on, but the tree is still there.
For me one of the joys of haiku is when a memory turns into a poem. Something that has been stored away for years, in this case probably over 40 years, suddenly has the words to express it. A-ha, indeed
Dear Keiji and all,
I like the crispness of Rhonda's “trampled melons/a rifle shot”.
And I really liked Joseph's “cold mountain” ku
I feel as though this is getting more challenging all the time. Keiji your gentle teaching about the renga is very helpful.
Some offerings in response to Ashley's
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself (Ashley Capes).
late summer arrives
in a musty T-shirt
an empty bottle abandoned
in a brown paper bag
steam rises
from a bowl of miso
Hi Anne – I like your 'empty bottle' ku – brings up another addiction – and Keiji thank you for your comment on my sand ku – I think what Sandra says about her haiku bringing up a memory, is also happening to me quite a bit in this continuing exercise – I think its because the ku is such a concisely short piece – linking us back to our most emotional thoughts/memories
Hi there Keiji – going back to my 'boar' ku, I think it is too abrupt for this gentle flowing renga – therefore I'd like you to consider this version instead
caught in the flutter
of his eyelashes
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
(AC)
thread by thread on the loom -
a pomegranate and grapes
rising from the sewerage pond
tonight's bright moon
That's why
The lady is a tramp!
– no, that's been done already …
But, let's try:
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself /AC
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
or
large easter bunny found
someone under the bed
Such a lovely image, Ashley! Challenging, too
Here is my take on it:
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself/AC
last fall's moonlight
preserved in the glass jar
Sandra, love “high in the tree/my cousin throws walnuts”. Comical and human and evocative.
I also like Origa's “last fallÄôs moonlight/preserved in the glass jar”. Some spookiness there.
I'll submit this ku, in a completely different direction:
Little Sister,
where is your kite?
or
we root for our team
announced loud over speakers
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
(Ashley)
an old frog jumps suddenly
just in the new bathing place
or
fire pearls shining
in the quagmire
or
in the swampy field
some flickering fireflies
(Vasile Moldovan)
great ku Ash! here's my response:
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
(Ashley)
longing
for next year's harvest
(Graham Nunn)
Second try:
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself/AC
a swallow beating eastwards
against the strong mistral
Thanks for the kind comments on my ku, Joseph! And I like your little sister, and Sandra's cousin
My third try:
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself/AC
water boils with jellyfish
in the faraway cove
Wow! I really like the threatening nature of Greg's: “the streets are empty now/
rumble of a tank” As if some doom impends.
And Origa, your “a swallow beating eastwards/ against the strong mistral” sort of links to the sow not being able to help herself. Stroong images!
and one more offering…
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself
(Ashley)
if only to fall asleep
watching black-and-white movies
(Graham Nunn)
Thank you guys for all your great ku!
IÄôm thinking of two possibilities. One is GrahamÄôs
longing
for next yearÄôs harvest
and the other is GregÄôs
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
Both would infuse a sense of time to the spatial scenes in the last few ku.
One is a bit abstract but evocative and open to various themes, and the other
has more clear imagery and a sense of urgency. IÄôm sure both equally work
well at this point of our rengaĶ
Okay, I chose GregÄôs this time. But it would be interesting to think how
our renga would go if we had chosen GrahamÄôs here, or even other ku for
the ku that have been so far selected. Seems like a SF, with so many
parallel worlds!
Hi everyone… sorry for not being on-line for a while. Will catch up with reading through all of your ku and comments soon.
But for now
wonderful to see how the renga has progressed.
Great ku Joseph, Ashley and Greg!
…and Happy Easter to all.
lorin
the streets are emty now
rumble of a tank
(Greg Rochlin)
stars war-
No entry
in the Milky Way!
or
happy cadets
in the war theatre-
internet cafe
0r
pause
even in the battle field-
Easter Days
(Vasile Moldovan)
I love the cool spookiness of this series. And the idea of fireflies Vasile – hope you don't mind me riffing on it.
hunting truffles
the sow
cannot help herself (AC)
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank (GR)
a grin of light
joking
fireflies
or
first term Captain
cockpit craving
green tea icecream in the sky
or
the ticket collector
has forgotten more
than you remember
Your ku is very atmospheric, indeed, Greg …good one
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
(Greg Rochlin)
as the sun sets
I prepare sau rieng
for my next lover
* sau rieng = durian fruit [in Vietnamese] It also has a meaning, based on an old tale : ” one's own sorrows”
cheers,
lorin
ps…Hi Graham!
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank (Greg Rochlin)
harvest moon
a ghost gum avenue
leads me home
or
who cares?
a lap top and an i-pod
makes her day
or
at the Derby
thunderous hooves
kicking up mud
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
(Greg Rochlin)
young actress
scared by a megaphone
of the director
*
amazingly
light-thickened spring air
easy to inhail
*
in glaring sun
first violet touching
its cold shadow
to follow
'the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank' (GR)
after lightning strike
a ti tree blooms
in halves
a tortoise's
tired plod
back across desert
looking at her old photos
another hot flush
rises
Hi Lorin – welcome back – and happy Easter to you as well – I like your 'as the sun sets' ku -
Yes, there are so many ways the renga could turn… I really enjoy Greg's ku so here is my response:
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank (GR)
sun in the west
between us
not a word (Graham Nunn)
and a big hello to you to Lorin! Hope you have had a great Easter.
There are so many great ku here.
My response to Greg's:
between the sundial
and the metronome
a city in ruins
Thanks Keiji. I'm appreciating your kindly, sure hand.
I will propose:
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank /GR
a thought
seeps
needing to be done
or
one word more
a universe
in a universe
WHEN MODE
ALIGNS WITH
THE DAY
S ASK
or
in L'Aquila and Gaza
cities of tents
in Buxton a market
after lightning strike
a ti tree blooms
in halves
[Rhonda Poholke]
Wow! Rhonda…I have seen this, but my earlier memory was a special landmark Banksia, right at the beach edge of the foreshore, when I was a little kid. It took a long time to die, and there are still small pieces of the silvered timber there to this day. btw…
so happy to see you spelling this the Victorian way, rather than the NSW way…but there should be a hyphen: 'ti-tree' [hope you don't mind that sort of copy editing] This is such a striking ku for me [well, the pun wasn't intended but I see it's there, having written it] and beyond the accurate literal level, so symbolically apt in relation to Greg's ku.
Thanks Graham…a quiet and reflective Easter
I love this of yours…its mood so appropriate, following Greg's:
sun in the west
between us
not a word
(Graham Nunn)
[...these comments don't mean there aren't other ku I like very much as well, everyone]
Hi everyone!
Thanks for all your comments too!
Just a quick word to say that I really liked Graham's 'sun' ku
Hi Lorin – I don't mind being edited atall – that (the banksia) is a sight you will never forget, no doubt – our tough trees – withstanding all sorts of conditions – except for the bulldozers!
after lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
Love the 'actress', Origa, it turns the ku on its head, very funny. I also like your 'violet', for its desolateness.
Well done indeed Rhonda!
Wow! So many great ku here! The feeling this renga evokes is strengthening. Jen, I love your “ticket collector”, and Lorin your wistful sau rieng, and Anne, your twilight zone “city in ruins”: spooky. I also love Graham's “sun in the west”. So many to recognize.
Here's one from me:
a winding sheet floats
from the dark window
parade
Actually, I like this version better:
a winding sheet
flickers out a dark window
parade
or:
flashbulbs fire
paparazzi
instant fame
or:
bare incandescent bulb
lights children
playing charades
Hi all. It keeps on getting better!
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank (Greg Rochlin)
trembling hands
upon the crib
babyÄôs to the sky
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
(GR)
not knowing how to ask,
but still,
the colour of tomatoes
or
through the dome
of the hammam* -
star-shaped pieces of sun
(*bath house, Arabic)
Hi all,
Yes, I like Rhonda's ti-tree and Graham's sun too. Rhonda, I wonder if you had considered making it less abrupt, eg, instead of:
after lightning strike
a ti tree blooms
in halves
using one more article, as in:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
Sometimes removing too many articles can make a haiku too brief and read a little “rough”. This is such a strong image that I think adding “the” to the first line doesn't unbalace it at all.
Anyway, just a suggestion.:)
Also very taken with Greg's “one word more”.
Thanks for your comment Joseph. I think so many of these are striking! not only Rhonda's lightning strike, which is a great image, but lots of others, it's hard to mention just one or two. I like your image of children playing charades, and Graham's sun in the west, and Fleur's juxtaposition of “trembling hands” and “baby's to the sky”.
one more response:
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
(Greg Rochlin)
on the Via Appia
the ghosts makes good time
in their Roman sandals
of course the above should read:
on the Via Appia
the ghosts make good time
in their Roman sandals
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves – -
Sandra I did toss this around along with some other versions – like – lightning strikes and blooming – I probably do like this version better so I'll toss it in the ring – I think it is a fine line as to how 'brief' you make a ku – what you leave out and put in
Hi Greg – I've been thinking much about your 'the streets are empty now/rumble of a tank – it's beautiful eeriness reminds me of Yevtushenko's (the Russian poet) writing – who among many lovely pieces, wrote a poem called 'Party Card' – 2 lines I really like – 'He was lying in remoteness and silence/among the ruined tanks and the dead' – needless to say, it was about war – I picked up 'Yevtushenko's Selected poems' in a second hand book store for a couple of dollars – I think it was very good value
I have been looking at paintings by our current Army Artist today and with Anzac Day coming up …
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
(GR)
picking wildflowers -
the poppies
first to wilt
Hi, everyone. In my opinion, this (25th) is the best round so far.
So many ku, most of which are too great to miss. Oh, youÄôre killing me!
The following caught my eyes:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves (Rhonda Poholke)
between the sundial
and the metronome
a city in ruins (Anne Elvey)
harvest moon
a ghost gum avenue
leads me home (Barbara A Taylor)
as the sun sets
I prepare sau rieng
for my next lover (lorin)
young actress
scared by a megaphone
of the director (Origa)
sun in the west
between us
not a word (Graham Nunn)
Let me seeĶRhondaÄôs has the strongest image and a positive message.
In AnneÄôs Äúcity in ruinsÄù I hear echoes from many ku so far in this renga
(Äúspookiness,Äù as Jen and Joseph refer to?). I like BarbaraÄôs with its theme
of coming home. LorinÄôs turns the tragic atmosphere in GregÄôs ku into
a comical yet gentle one. OrigaÄôs is also comical, with a story behind it.
GrahamÄôs is evocative, as his last ku was (but it might lead back to the
very first ku (DavidÄôs): Äúin the purple westÄùĶ).
Okay, our 25th ku is:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves (Rhonda Poholke)
IsnÄôt it wonderful? It is certainly one of the best ku in English IÄôve ever read!
Thanks Rhonda, and to other people for their comments. I've never read any Yevtushenko poems, I'll have to have a look. What you've quoted led me to one of Rimbaud's, 'Le dormeur du val' (last two lines), which would go something like: He sleeps in the sun, his hand on his peaceful chest. He has two red holes in his right side. – Reads a bit like a haiku, actually …
Congratulations Rhonda.
Thanks for the comments on the sundial ku and your as ever gentle teaching.
One response to Rhonda's great ku:
poised on the first crease
a crane
The thanks above was to Keiji.
the streets are empty now
rumble of a tank
(Greg Rochlin)
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
between hospital blinds
she has one eye on the clock
thought I'd try bring in a human again, not sure if it's a great linking ku though?
Hi Joseph, those two are smashing! Both are so strong – and I liked the shuffle board one too.
Hi every one here!
The kids smiles spread
And so dose the atmosphere
They make the world spin
Great ku, Rhonda! I'll submit later, on my way to class.
Ok, here's one in another direction:
frying eggs
and shuffleboard
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
double rainbow uniting
two distant mountains
or
then the whole woods
in the darkness
(Vasile Moldovan)
Hi Keiji – I'm so honoured to be included with this ku – so special to my childhood of wandering amongst beautiful Grampians ti-tree – all the other spectacular ku – this renga is becoming a miracle, a voice in its own right
Hi Ashley, Anne, Joseph – thanks for your comments – Greg I think Yevtushenko also wrote in ku form – the sentences come together so simply yet weave strength – we should be learning from Keiji's teaching that through ku our poetry can become much stronger, sentence by sentence
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves (Rhonda Poholke)
in all this gloom
the richness of autumn colour
or
twin peaks tower
above the quaking aspen
or
two crocus buds
shoot from glistening snow
it seems to me that ku-quality has been improving markedly. Rhonda, your 'ti-tree halves' is a stunner.
Yes, Rhonda, I am thinking already this will be good for my other writing … It's great to be part of it.
a fireworks display
dandelions come and go
or
he runs to make it on time
blurring passers-by
party favors
the May-pole dancers
It's a great ku, Rhonda, and I'm really happy and proud for you to see it chosen for #25
Okay, my mind has been going many different directions now. Rhonda's ku is so perfectly able to launch on to a hundred different paths. But here are two i've been working on all evening. For some reason, eggs will not leave my mind, but rather than mention them directly:
the hens listen
to the omelette sizzle
and then, thinking about the ti-tree and the poems of Issa, I came up with this ku:
the rain ends
Worms! Go home.
Rhonda your chosen ku is beautiful. Many thanks for your comment Anne.
2 more responses to Rhonda's:
the barn dances
to a kookaburra hymn
or
shopping trolleys veer
in maddening directions
Thanks Ashley! I love your image of the blinds and the waiting/anticipation. Wow!
Hi there everyone – your comments are appreciated – and thanks to Lorin and Sandra for their suggestions – - this renga certainly is driven by a wider community – where abouts? Guessing here – Melbourne, SA, NSW, New Zealand, country Vic – others too – sorry Keiji and David if this is off track – but isn't the internet great for writers to interact?
Hi Fleur – I like your 'kookaburra' – Ashley I like your 'between hospital blinds' – can go many ways – and Joseph's 'the hens listen/ to the omelette sizzle' – yes I do like this – humour? 'he runs to make it on time' – Greg this is good too 'blurring passers by' – also like Anne's 'poised on the first crease/ a crane' – lovely Anne – and Vasile's 'then the whole woods/ in the darkness' – this is quite spooky – but they are all good and speaking their own voices too – cannot be easy for Keiji -
..and Japan, Romania, USA, mainland and Hawaii … & Brissie [Aust]…maybe more places, too!
A yes to all those comments about the way this renga and Keiji's gentle instruction assists in thinking attentively about writing and imagery. Thanks to all. And thanks, Rhonda, for your comment on my ku.
cockles and mussels
a stray cat alive-o!
Yes, this ku of yours, Rhonda, has a very positive, uplifting feel to it.
So,
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves (Rhonda Poholke)
a spade, a worm
it wriggles, wriggles
or
a flash
now the thunder canÄôt hide
or
old crack in the mirror
no longer seen
Enjoying this communal writing immensely — thank you, all! Like your wonderful inspiring ku, Rhonda! And Greg — thank you for your comment on my 'actress'!
First try:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
Sunday dad modelling
a toy motorboat
Second try:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
a pensive orangutan
behind the bars
USA here: Vermont, specifically.
Wow! So many wonderful ku! Love the “Sunday dad” Origa. Here's one more try:
recently widowed
yellow scarf flutters
and Greg, lovely how “the thunder can't hide”!
Third try:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
practicing tai chi
a scarecrow
Glad you like my 'dad', Joseph — thanks!
And I like your 'recently widowed' person's image, very evocative.
My last entry should read:
recently widowed
a yellow scarf flutters
No, no, no! I meant:
recent widow
a yellow scarf flutters
recent widow
a yellow scarf fluttering
is even better for me
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
Yangtze River-dolphin:
so utterly alone
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
three scotches
and heÄôs my twin soul!
Aloha, great work y'all…
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
ring around the rosy
under a double rainbow
Welcome Alida, I like your revision, and welcome too Marinela and Nick!
And Origa's 'dad' ku is fantastic.
One more try from me:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
the cleaner's blush
closing the top drawer
Unlicensed driver on probation
serendipitously slips off to the laundromat
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(RP)
the older twin
always one step behind
or, a contribution from my 13-year-old son, Harry:
waiting for the operation
she dreams of swimming
Wow, Sandra,
The “older twin” is wonderful!
… or [a variation of 'scotches', above]…
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
three scotches later
heÄôs my soul-mate
this one is better:
Unlicensed driver on probation
serendipitously slips to the laundromat
I'm just going to change one of mine to (what it was at first)
old crack in the mirror
no longer visible
(thanks)
Hello Everyone,
Just back from the far south coast of NSW – no electricity, no phone, no computer – only one thing wrong, no renga – and it's very hard to be away from this renga. (Sorry David)
Rhonda, I love your ku.
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves (Rhonda Poholke)
a letter, from the twin
he's never known
Thanks so much Joseph, appreciated the comment.
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(RP)
riding the ghost train
all the things we wanted to be
or
the way the religious medal
slips into her cleavage
One more:
on the table the ventricles
of an open heart
I like your 'yellow scarf', Joseph (I read it as a joyful release …). Your last version is good. And also Origa's scarecrow – he (she) is perhaps inspired by the ti-tree.
Another one -
opening the bedroom door
a moth flutters up
I agree, Anne – Origa's scarecrow ku is fantastic – very clever, too!
I really liked Alida's 'bungee' ku and Lorin's 'snapper' ku really strikes me with memories.
Geeze, who have I forgotten? So many to mention!
Thanks Joseph! I hoped it'd make a few of us smile! Sounds like you understand the perils of curiosity then?
Ash
the cleanerÄôs blush
closing the top drawer
So funny, Ashley! During college, I worked as a part-time house cleaner. Blush indeed!
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
a divorced mother
individuality difficult to seperate
or
a divorced mother
crazy with freedom
ooops spelling error!
idividuality difficult to separate
sorry still new at this and I want to revise:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
Wow Origa 'practicing tai chi/a scarecrow' – I shall think of this at our festival of scarecrows coming up in May – wonderful – and Joseph I like your 'recent widow' ku
and 'Yangtze River-dolphin:/so utterly alone' Lorin is so powerful – and Sandra's 'the older twin' is really nice – and Harry's ku is quite different again – 'waiting for the operation/she dreams of swimming' – very vivid Harry – and Genevieve O 'a letter, from the twin/he's never known' too is great – Anne's 'on the table the ventricles/of an open heart' I like – Aldia you've revised well with 'a divorced mother/bungee jumps' – bungee jumping must be the ultimate freedom – do you mean she's divorced from her husband, or from her children? Either way, I think you've hit it – hope you don't mind my comment Aldia – 'the cleaner's blush/closing the top drawer' – Ashley could take our renga anywhere really – so many good ku I have not mentioned could take the renga on different paths
Lovely to return and find so many inspired ku! There is such a variety, so many different directions that I find it almost impossible to make comments on just a few.
Alida, [hello
] great to see the progress over your revisions. This one works very well for me:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
[Alida]
Sandra, I find this of yours very touching:
the older twin
always one step behind
I'll add another for nostalgia's sake and for that of local seasonal reference: when the ti-tree blooms, that's the sign for all the fishermen to get up before dawn and take a boat out into Port Philip Bay for the annual snapper run, here in Victoria. They originally learnt to do this from the local Koori peoples, whose whole calendar was based on what recurring natural events coincided. [less fish these days, unfortunately]
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
snapper run!
our dad returns with breakfast
hmmm… the capitalisation in this looks wrong, on reflection:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
Yangtze River-dolphin:
so utterly alone
…so I'm amending it to:
Yangtze River-Dolphin:
so utterly alone
I agree with Lorin that there are so many great responses this time it is hard to comment, but I am very taken with Origa's scarecrow – tai chi ku.
All too well, Ashley. All too well!
Jeez! How does Keiji keep track of all of the evocative ku submitted. I have to say, this batch of ku seems even better than the last (which was great!) Every ku a photograph (with smell,hearing, taste, touch). Thank you, Joseph
Okay: maybe modify one of my submissions a bit:
the hens listen
as the omelette sizzles
I was kind of planning to choose a light, comical ku for the 26th
because the preceding two had strong, serious images. Then,
as you see, we have lots of the kind here:
cockles and mussels
a stray cat alive-o! (Anne Elvey)
the cleanerÄôs blush
closing the top drawer (Ashley Capes)
practicing tai chi
a scarecrow (Origa)
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
the hens listen
as the omelette sizzles (Joseph Mueller)
the barn dances
to a kookaburra hymn (Fleur)
There might be a ku or two that have a serious intention for the author, but
any of these will serve to make the flow of our renga smoother and freer, I think.
Oh, this ku is about freedom, as Rhonda writes above, isnÄôt it?
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
LetÄôs go with it!
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
after the separation
even the paradise birds fly
in the reverse directions
(Vasile Moldovan)
Tide folds in
sun fades away.
Nice ku, Aldia! Yo capture a sense of freedom and craziness with a physical act.
Yeah! It's addictive, this process, congratulations Alida
I really like Anne's 'dancing' ku
I'm gonna try one with a fairly obvious link (& subject) and then one that is a little more opaque, not sure how well they follow
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
amazingly
the grasshopper
is still
or
she opens up
with the first smile
pianissimo
Keiji,
WOW! I am thrilled to be part of so many creative minds!
Thanks Rhonda, Ashley, and Lorin, for the comments! What fun! : )
Congratulations Aldia – 'a divorced mother/bungee jumps' – great ku
Congratulations, Aldia, your ku opens things up yet again.
Some responses:
after the lightning strike
a ti-tree blooms
in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
a dozen unicorns
dance
on a carousel
a double helix
and two hundred candles
on Darwin's birthday cake
two parachutes
and a sound system playing
Let it be
NB. Ideally “Let it be” would be in italics but it doesn't come out here.
I think the last one links back too readily to Rhonda's “in halves”, so let me amend it:
three parachutes
and a sound system playing
Let it be
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
over the fence Ķ
falling into
a lesbianÄôs embrace
or
stubbing it out
she says, ÄúThis
will be the last time!Äù
or
letting go –
I wave to my child
at the school gate
Such a good choice of Aldia's ku! And already loving the responses – Anne's three parachutes especially, also Barbara's letting go and Ashley's pianissimo smile … to join them:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
happy prince Time
at the door she smiles
for once into hopeful eyes
Yes, some more great ku – Vasile, Kelly, Anne, Barbara, Ashley and Fleur 'happy prince Time' I like – it sure is an addiction Ashley – worse than coffee!
my contribution to follow Aldia's
'a divorced mother
bungee jumps'
basketball reunion
faces older now
“next time we'll bring a ball'
on tiptoe
an old lady clutches
balloon strings
counting the seven sisters
my finger lands
on the moon
oops – number 2 has an error -
basketball reunion
faces older now
“next time we'll bring a ball”
Hi All,
Here's a few possible verse to follow “a divorced mother/ bungee jumps”
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
OR:
yellow screams
in the dark wood
butterflies
OR:
they love the fear
Halloween
screamers
—
special note to lorin concerning the Melbourne trains: Actually, I was picturing the late trains in Tokyo, where 90% of the people are sprawled about, drunk. I guess this is a common thing in the world!
special note to Keiji: I sent you an e-mail this morning about my trip to Kyoto. I'm really looking forward to it!
Rhnda, absolutely love the finger and the seven sisters. Wow! Joe
It sure is an addiction.
Rhonda, I really like your 'counting the seven sisters/my finger lands/on the moon'. Something lovely in it from childhood again – all that distance against the closeness.
A suggestion to follow Aldia's:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
elastic and
it comes back -
slap
hmmm,
I put a gap after 'elastic' so the 'd' of 'and' lined up with the dash below it – but the gap didn't stay (hmm, getting into strange spooky things here) so I think I'll have to try a different way:
elastic
and it comes back
- slap
(doesn't feel as good as the gap though)
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
Congratulations, Aldia… this of yours gives a great sense of adventure, as well as being funny and surprising in context.
ah, David! I've not been to Tokyo. Some things are similar the world over, then … not anywhere near that percentage here, well, not since the days of 6 o'clock pm closing of pubs. I'm happy to tell you that I've seen both the posters and tattoos of the image here in your ku
…some images seem to 'travel' well.
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
[David]
Thanks everyone! It's so great being part of this – I really find that I'm pushing myself hard to try and keep up with you in the quality department!
Loved David's 'yellow screams' ku and Sandra's 'splitting wood' along with the great 'basketball' ku from Rhonda and the 'whale' ku from Greg.
I've had a bit of trouble too, Genevieve, with the tabs, I don't think they work in the forms of blogs?
So, what exactly is more addictive than coffee? (which sounds pretty serious) This renga or opening top drawers
?
one last try (so many ways to go from here, huh?) :
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
next morning
the kettle chord
chewn through
Thanks Genevieve! I was worried it might be a little obvious with the 'chord' linking back to the bungee rope, but maybe not, cool!
Yes, I did understand, though it's quite funnny they way your comment may have been interpreted!
Try this for the smiles – use a “:” then put a “)” right next to each other – no space – and that ought to be the smile
Just a note – I have a bad feeling that chewn is not a 'real' word (though I usually love using words that aren't) perhaps it ought to be 'chewed' – as I cannot find 'chewn' in any dictionary – what does everyone think?
Ashley
Here we go:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
silvered trails
of the ancestors -
the last entry in ink
or
counting clouds -
your three horses
beat my lonely sheep
dunking our faces
in thousand-year-old water -
a plastic emoticon floats away
(I think the smiley faces, etc are called emoticons – please let me know if I'm wrong!)
HI everyone – thank you Joseph and Genevieve for your comments – Gen I love your 'elastic' ku – oww, I can feel it – David I like all 3 of yours -'yellow screams/in the dark wood/butterflies' – WOW – what a picture -
Gen, leaving a gap didn't work for me either earlier -
ref to my error note, not the 2nd ku, but the 'basketball' ku
I can't seem to stay away too long!
Love Barbara's “over the fence…”and David's “tatooed”. Ashley's, amazingly/the grasshopper/is still, and Geneveive's elastic/and it comes back/-slap. So many good ones already…and now, I think I'll have a go at it.
broken back
camel spits
oasis
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
the whale plunges
deeper in its element
the line plays out
Thank you Rhonda and Aldia for your comments. Congratulations Aldia – we are certainly bouncing in many new directions with your ku.
I too like David's 'yellow screams/in the dark wood/butterflies' and Ashley's 'amazingly/the grasshopper/is still' – intense images.
Another try:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
free fall
when will it –
stop?
Yes! Thank you, Sandra! I did mean 'cord' (had music on the brain I think) and it is an interesting angle – if it were to speak of the whistle and not the electricity
So, a revision now:
next morning
the kettle cord
chewed through
Another try:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
splitting wood -
the way the muscles in his back
expand and contract
And I would like to amend an earlier ku to:
dunking our faces
in thousand-year-old water Äì
a plastic emoticon floats off
Golly, and one more (which kind of bounces off my very first one in this round):
great-grandfather's diary -
his sketch of an iceberg
fading to nothing
I think I'd better put the free fall in the present tense:
a divorced mother
bungee jumps (Aldia)
free fall
when does it -
stop?
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
fresh tear drops-
the wind is drying up
all the ways
or
lost love letter-
the sea breeze carries it
to nowhere
(Vasile Moldovan)
Yes, David has 2 good ones – “howling Jesus” and “yellow screams” and now Vasile has added “Love letter”, great.
Have you thought, Vasile, about omitting the word “lost”? The next 2 lines indicate that that is the case, wouldn't you say?
And I very much like the idea of the candles forming a double helix on Darwin's birthday cake. What fun!
Ashley, that's a beauty – I love it.
(elastic)
hmmm – I mean Ashley's ku is a beauty & I love it – not opening top drawers – (oh dear, sometimes it's better to say nothing).
Glad you understood, Ashley. (If I could put a smiley face I would but I can't find them in the blog)
Hi Ashley,
Yes “chewed” is probably better, and I think you mean “cord”, although “chord” conjures up a very interesting idea, especially if it is a whistling “kettle” and not a “jug” (electric).
Thanks for the kind words re the “splitting wood” ku. Much appreciated.
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
sudden take off
a sparrow flock leaves
the chirp behind
“what a ride!”
sparkles in the eyes
of my grandpa
a divorced mother
bungee jumps
(Aldia)
different songs
float now over the pier
of my youth
Dear Sandra,
Thank you for your suggestion. You are right.
For all: please not to know about the first word(lost) of my last haiku. Its final form will be:
love letter-
the sea breeze carries it
to nowhere
Thanks for understanding.
Vasile Moldovan
Hey, All! Here's one I'd like to submit:
shooting cans
the rifleman
bows
Hey, Geneveive!
free fall
when does it -
stop?
Love the ku, but perhaps you should try placing the action in past tense? As if the divorced mother has moved into a new phase and not even realised her growth?
So the ku would read: free fall/when did it-/stop?
Same question, but a differnt take.
And Ashley, while “chewed” is more correct, I LOVE “chewn”!
Thanks, Rhonda! Your ku gave me a smile! I've seen that happen to a few baskets over the years.
Wonder where I heard that mangled word 'chewn'? It has a different ring than 'chewed'.
Ok, responding to David's – which is a little spooky I reckon (and like)
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
(David G. Lanoue)
thinking about butterflies
in the dentist's chair
Hi Ashley – Thank you for comment on my 'basketball' ku – which did actually happen recently – yes, I like 'chewn' though 'chewed' is the word – I can see possibilities for 'chewn' – it seems to go further in the 'chewing' department than 'chewed' -just wrote this one for you -
that old dog -
six days later his basket
'chewn' to bits
'next morning/ the kettle cord/ chewed through' – great Ashley – the kettle wasn't in
the drawer was it? No don't answer that
I like your 'sudden take off' Origa and Vasile your 'love letter'
Hi, everyone.
In my opinion, though there are many good ones in this round, two ku by David stick out.
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
yellow screams
in the dark wood
butterflies
Oh, he is good, isnÄôt he! I think the former has a sense of newness in the flow of our renga, so let me choose it this time.
Other verses I like are:
counting the seven sisters
my finger lands
on the moon (Rhonda Poholke)
the whale plunges
deeper in its element
the line plays out (Greg Rochlin)
love letter-
the sea breeze carries it
to nowhere (Vasile Moldovan)
I like all these taking different directions suggested by AldiaÄôs ku.
Hi Anne and Genevieve, thank you! And yours too – the blue rosary is such a striking image, and 'hanging in the hills' explains the sound perfectly!
Another try
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
(David G. Lanoue)
shoulders slumped
sunbather in the waiting room
(I seem to have bit of a medical theme going for some reason at the moment)
Hi Fleur, thank you – I really like your 'hunger strike' ku, it has a nice, sad feel to it – and a great meld of meaning within the colour/subject of thes flames/alcohol
David congratulations – 'tattooed' – does change the renga's prospective – be interesting to see what comes now – I shall go to work contemplating this afternoon
David I like your ku – my eyes are fixed on the image as she falls.
Ashley, as soon as you say 'dentist' I can feel the hairs on the 'back of my neck' stand on end – great
A first try:
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus (David G.Lanoue)
coyotes roaming – their calls
hanging in the hills
A second try:
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus (David G. Lanoue)
an elderly woman plays the organ
- her floral hat trembling
Hi all,
Thanks Ashley, Fleur, Rhonda and Sandra for your comments on my ku last time. Much appreciated.
What a strong image from David. It has brought up many for me. Here are three possibilities:
unbroken in the rubble
a blue rosary
at dusk
a thunder of Bogong moths
and, if I may borrow Aldia's camel:
the Sahara fills my hourglass
with a camelÄôs mantra
Hi Ashley and Genevieve, I like your “dentist chair” and “coyotes roaming” ku respectively. Both very nice links.
tatooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
(David G. Lanoue)
a new crossroad
-quo vadis Domine?
or
his pitiless pain
hidden in silence
(Vasile Moldovan)
Thank you Anne, and I like your 'blue rosary' ku.
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
(David G. Lanoue)
filling the pauses -
a soft bumping of moths
or
a cluster of goat-hair tents
and there, the goats
or
too many colours to count -
the pheasant's wing
Sorry Anne, your “moths” subconsciously got me …
treaty exhibition -
so many chiefs sign with a cross
I agree the 'blue rosary' image is really striking and 'unbroken in the rubble' seems to flow from really well from David's wunderku … so interesting the sameness/difference of the moth sounds, Anne and Sandra – the thunder versus the soft bumping – both nice – can hear both. Gee, Ashley, both yours I like, but I think the dentist a tad more
Here goes:
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus (David G. Lanoue)
twisted metal
a flaming revolution or
twisting metal
hungry devils in caves or
toppling over
for the spirits in the bin
(but that's sort of close to bungee jumping …)
OK another – addictive …
on hunger strike
amid brandy flames
Thank you Ashley – (and for the smiley face)
Another try:
the priest sharpens his tongue
and forbids a marriage
Ok, last shot at it -
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
(David G. Lanoue)
hail hits the street -
Zeus fumbles again
Hi everyone – Genevieve I like your 'the priest sharpens his tongue' – strong image -
and Ashley 'dentist chair' also Anne 'blue rosary' is a strong image too – and 'the Sahara fills my hourglass' I like – Fleur 'twisted metal' I like – but do you mean to have the 'or' at the end of the ku? Sandra 'a soft bumping of moths' is lovely- Vasile 'his pitiless pain/hidden in silence' – wow, strong ku
to follow David's 'tattooed' -
in the sceptic's eye
nothing exists
a mosquito poised
on the bikie's nose
a black leather jacket
on the road's shoulder
HI Rhonda, Thank you for your comment on my priest ku. I really like your 'a mosquito poised/on the bikie's nose' – I can sense the risk of losing balance as he swats it – the bike wobbling – and then with your next ku the disaster may well have happened.
…and Rhonda, you did make me laugh with the kettle in the draw.
Anne, I like your 'the Sahara fills my hourglass/with a camel's mantra', surrounds me with slow, studied, quiet images.
ink runs
from the calligrapher's brush
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus (David G. Lanoue)
wild dogs snarl
in the fullness of the moon
or
her born again approach
botched for eternity
or
drunken sailors complain
the wine vat is empty
Hi Genevieve – I didn't see the connection with the bikie and the jacket – but now you say that…yes… could be an end result – I was tossing up other scenes for 'jacket' – like beach or door but road seemed to have the right feel about it – about the drawer, perhaps we'd all like to know what might have been in there but we're not game to ask
Again with the talent! Anne – love the “blue rosary.” Fleur- your “hunger strike” made me think of being in a pub and not eating enough. Ashley- the image of the “dentist's chair” is still with me. And Genevieve, I've known some sharp-tongued priests. All great ku! So ni to see all of us working to create this marvelous renga.
Hard to follow David, but I'll give it a try.
a sapphire piercing
colors her cowboy mouth
Here's another go:
rude red lips
snap directions south
Hi Ashley – re 'chewn' – it is sort of like 'strewn' which I used in a previous ku for leaves I think – - so perhaps its a hybrid – Vasile I can't get your wonderful 'pitiless pain' ku out of my mind – absolutely the opposite to constantly hearing about some one's 'aches and pains'
Okay, here's another try:
the girls' campfire
no longer keeps the bears at bay
And another try. Thinking of words and where we least expect them.
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
Now I don't want to stop! One more submission to follow David's:
trash in the yard
I sell the house
And perhaps Barbara's too, could be considered for the moon ku?
Here's an attempt
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
only two colours
in the kitchen
rat and moon
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus /David G. Lanoue
no prayers at this
busy time of spring
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus
(David G. Lanoue)
evil priests
flesh hungry wolverines
or
zap, zap, zap
hepatitis-c
Okay. One more try:
peeping through the window
the farmer's daughter
Origa, I like very much 'no prayers at this/ busy time of spring' for a very funny connection back to Aldia's (although not so kosher for that ??)
Hi Keiji – can I submit one more? Please kindly disregard if you cannot accept my 4th
tubbed V8
smoking rubber
Thank you everyone, as always, for your great contributions.
This time I picked out the following three for the final selection:
wild dogs snarl
in the fullness of the moon (Barbara A Taylor)
on hunger strike
amid brandy flames (Fleur)
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard treesÄÄ(Joseph Mueller)
IÄôm glad to see your ku getting freer every round! OkayĶ
Let me choose JesephÄôs, for its lightness and everyday sense.
FleurÄôs Äúhunger strikeÄù may be too closely linked with AldiaÄôs,
with a kind of suicidal act (bungee jump / hunger strike).
As for BarbaraÄôs I really like its simple diction with strong imagery!
but I have a plan for the next round (our 29th ku)Ķ
The 29th verse is called Äútsuki-no-za (place for the moon),Äù
according to the traditional rulebook of renga. Yes, IÄôm asking
you to write ku with the theme of the moon for the 29th!
(I guess regulars here remember that we did a similar thing
with the theme of cherry blossoms for the 17th.)
Let me repeat: The next will be a three-liner about the MOON!
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus (david g. lanoue)
relieved the smiling cyclops sees
the needle's winking eye
looks like i got that last one in too late…
i know we're going to see a lot of great suggestions for the next ku, but it would seem to me that rhonda's moon three-liner would work a treat here:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard treesÄÄ(Joseph Mueller)
counting the seven sisters
my finger lands
on the moon (Rhonda Poholke)
alphabet/counting backyard/children's games tacked/finger …..
…it's worth considering Keiji: Rhonda contributes a lot of material to this blog. You could really lighten your workload by taking her to the maximum of three included submissions…
Congratulations, Joseph!
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard treesÄÄ(Joseph Mueller)
This makes me want to run from tree to tree collecting the letters, and maybe leave an anonymous ku on the door of the house! : )
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees (Joseph Mueller)
a girl in her pram
cranes to see the low moon
a forest of legs
or
neon moon
stuck up in a sulfurous sky
still so romantic
Congratulations Joseph, there's fun in that backyard.
A try:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees (Joseph Mueller)
thin slices
of the moon
on a willow pattern plate
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
lone in the bedroom- 5
on a half of my pillow 7
the half moon itself 5
or
our renku booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads its
or
all alone
at the writing table-
behind me the moon
(Vasile Moldovan)
Hi Anne, out of the 2 above I think the 1st is stronger, though the bat-handbag connection is great.
And so too is Genevieve's
now they find it
water moon – hiding
in the reed beds
And Joseph's
Claudia
moon-eyed
strapped to her bed
is fantastic too. I'm sorry I can't list them all, too many to choose from
A second try
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
digging something up
bones creak
under the moonlight
oh, and this one of Sandra's too
camellia moon
in pieces on the floor
her first ballgown
cobbled boughs
clutch mother's roots
arguing the moon
tattooed
on the back of her neck
a howling Jesus (david g. lanoue)
no mercy for one
who takes there life
it is sin to do so
Ashley, I love your “rat and moon”!
that familiar feeling
itching deep in their souls
they howl at the moon
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to the backyard trees
children play and sing
cow jumping over the moon
youthfulness prevails
Thanks, Keiji, for including my “cardboard alphabet.” Thrilled to be in such talented company. Here is one of my submissions for the 29th ku:
the maples blush
painitng
his thumb covers the moon
On a lighter note (but perhaps as “natural”):
trousers dropped
passing cars
exposed to teenage moon
Oops, my first ku submission should read:
the maples blush
painting
his thumb covers the moon
Boy, this is a great ku Joseph. Here's a humble follow-up or 2:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
camellia moon -
her first ballgown
pinned out on the floor
the sound of a
chrysalis tearing -
waxing moon
Easter colored eggs
baskets full of chocolate
helicopter hovers
circled H on the ground
men race the moon
One Shared space
the sun and the moon
we watch in amazement
moonlight reflects
rippled lake water
campfires burn on shore
Shining pure above
moon hovers soiled earth
people wonder
Great image, Joseph. After Michael's suggestion, I wonder if it would be good if Rhonda wants to resubmit her seven sisters moon ku for this, Keiji. And there are so many great moon images from others, too.
Thanks for all the comments on the blue rosary.
lights shoot across the water
coconuts in the air
the moon laughing above
I have two:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
where is the fork or the spoon
cow jumps over the moon
small hands set the table
-or-
stars castle the sky
put to bed
big brother moon
old man cackles
spectacles slipping
“You can't follow the moon.”
oop's I like to revise that
Lights shoot the water
coconuts in the air
the moon laughing above
below the stars
gray moon overshadows
blue earth hughe
within universe heart
moon holds half
of planet survival
home at last Äì love
hangs a handbag of dreams
on the moonÄôs tip
suddenly Äì rocks bound
when the full moon scales
MacDonnell Range
beneath a new moon
their ears and eyes make
a bracelet of satellites
Not entirely happy with some of the line lengths above, so some alternatives for the first two:
home at last -
love hangs a dream
on the moon's tip
a bit sorry to lose the handbag though…?
suddenly – rocks
bound when the full moon
scales MacDonnell Range
Hello all,
I'd like to amend one submitted previously in this round to:
camellia moon
in pieces on the floor
her first ballgown
Thanks.
And this is a revision of one submitted in an earlier round:
on the hammam's dome
star-shaped
pieces of moon
Another try:
then they found it
water moon – hiding
in the reed beds
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
waxing, waning
yo-yo dieting
weigh me on the moon
I think I should change that to:
now they find it
water moon – hiding
in the reed beds
“weigh me on the moon”–what a wonderful line, Aldia! And Genevieve, exceptional image of the “water moon” in the reeds. So many threads!
Anne, I am also taken by your lines “hangs a dream/ on the moon's tip,” but I find the word “love” too…amorphous? Just me.
Heidi, nice images with the nursery rhyme and the silverware. also, “big brother moon.”
Here's one more from me:
left at the altar
“you promised
me the moon!”
Okay, I'll try aagain:
maples flame
drunk on moon shine
night cautions
Dracula, The Yellow Wallpaper, Bedlam: and here's what I submit:
Claudia
moon-eyed
strapped to her bed
Okay, maybe I have an addiction here:
moon-eyed
lip fumbler
first kiss
Yes, “weigh me on the moon” is brilliant.
I think you may be right about the word “love”, Joseph, am considering possible amendments.
Apologies, but I can't get them out of my head:
the woman in the moon
tells the man
time to go home
… Anne – I do love the 'handbag of dreams'.
Thank you Joseph for your very nice comments on my 'water moon'.
Here's another from me:
Crazy Man!
moonwalking
on the motorway
Ok, my last try for the moon!
up from the desk
the moon tells me
time for bed
Thanks Genevieve,
taking into account yours and Joseph's comment:
home at last -
I hang a handbag of dreams
on the moon's tip
or perhaps..
one black bat hangs
a handbag of dreams
on the moon's tip
summer heat
rising from the sewage pond
tonight's moon
and one for Joseph:
in the moonlight
her red lips
now black
Hey Anne, love the “one black bat”! And thank you Sandra for the “moonlight,” the “lips,” and the spookiness! Love it!
What if we only think we're moved by the moon?
full moon calls
pullingly
wrong number
Two more from me then off to bed, with lyrics of the moon stuck in my head…….It's getting bad! I am so tired but I don't want to stop!
Bicycle built for two
flying to the moon
heaven and earth askew
waxing the kitchen floor
Sunday dinner with homemade rolls
Cresent moon
I want to revise my bicycle ku:
Bicycle built for two
racing toward the moon
heaven and earth askew
¬´ Jill Bamforth reviews John Jenkins
Tim Wright reviews Nicholas Manning »
Haikunaut Island Renga 2
March 30th, 2009
Continued from Haikunaut Island Renga 1.
children laugh unafraid of the past in the summer grass
(Keiji Minato)
a ladybug of leisure wanders upside-down
(Fleur)
on a city tram opening to Han ShanÄôs distances
(Lorin Ford)
cold mountain range plays hidden music
(Joseph Mueller)
hunting truffles the sow cannot help herself
(Ashley Capes)
the streets are empty now rumble of a tank
(Greg Rochlin)
after the lightning strike a ti-tree blooms in halves
(Rhonda Poholke)
a divorced mother bungee jumps
(Aldia)
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees (Joseph Mueller)
at moonbeamÄôs end
an embedded glow
on soft ochre sands
or
moonlight
a sonata
on the baby grand
or
the flooded gums
ghosts in the moonlight
guiding me home
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees (Joseph Mueller)
pine leaves tickling
a patch of moon
on clear blue sky
Hi Keiji – well such a lot has happened in renga land in my absence this morning – how quick the poets work! Lovely moon pieces – thank you Michael and Anne for your comments – Keiji may I re submit my moon ku?
To follow Joseph's lovely ku
'a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees'
counting the seven sisters
my finger lands
on the moon
cold morning
warm grain in the ground
a pale moon
the moon rises
over a dying campfire
a mopoke's wing-beat
Ashley is right – too many to choose from. Thank you for your comment Ashley.
Rhonda, I like your three – but for me the magic is still in 'counting the seven sisters/my finger lands/on the moon'.
- and I like Aldia's 'bicycle built for two/racing toward the moon/heaven and earth askew'
- and Sandra's 'camellia moon/in pieces on the floor/her first ballgown'.
One more try:
see her there?
moonshiny
just breath and gossamer
or:
see her there
beneath the maple?
moonshiny – just gossamer
moonlight meditation
an owl holds his position
longer
Wow! the moon theme has brought out some great images… too many to comment on yet again.
I'm still thinking about that handbag…
maybe this phrasing works better:
one black bat
hangs a handbag of dreams
on the moon's tip
Anne, I don't really think I should venture into the area of dabbling in other people's ku – I just like your 'handbag' image so much I've been thinking about it too …
do you like this any better?
“on the moon's tip
hangs a handbag of dreams
– one black bat” (A.E)
No…I think your way is better – more direct. G.
I think I like this better -
the moon rises
over a dying campfire
sound of a mopoke
Hi Genevieve – thank you for your comments – I like your 'water moon' – a lovely image – there are some great moon images here
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees /Joseph Mueller
full moon…
an owl's shadow slides
after the hoot
Genevieve, I agree, I like the end line as “-one black bat.”
Here's one more try by me:
moonrise
the filament
sparked by night
Thanks, Lorin! Glad you liked the rat-moon one – really liked your drilling cicadas, it's such a comical yet series image
Ashley
Sorry, that should have read 'serious' for Lorin's cicadas
How the renga has moved on! Good stuff, everyone! David and Joseph, congratulations! Sorry I didn't submit anything in the last round…was going to now, but the time has flown.
ok, moving on with it:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
a sliver of moonĶ
cicadas continue
drilling
…these two witty ku, by Ashley and Aldia, have made my morning:
only two colours
in the kitchen
rat and moon
Ashley
waxing, waning
yo-yo dieting
weigh me on the moon
Aldia
Lorin
Thanks Genevieve and Joseph for the suggested revision. It gives it a different feel. Nice.:)
… I've revised, to this:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
first sliver of moonĶ
cicadas continue
drilling
…and a variation:
by moonlight
cicadas continue
their drilling
…and another:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees
(Joseph Mueller)
casting the spell
by moonlight
wild mushrooms
Good to hear your voice, Lorin. I like “cicadas continue/drilling” better than incorporating the pronoun “their.” It just sounds better!
Just to play, and stretch the borders a bit, here is another one of my ku:
moonshade drawn
night business
goes undisturbed
or maybe: “night's business” I'm not sure. Just an image/thought that seemed to fit.
wondering where you've been….thanks! Not sure I'm content to slide beneath a moonlit slumber quite yet…….
I might have one more in me. I've been pondering………
Lorin, wondering where you've been….thanks! Not sure I'm content to slide beneath a moonlit slumber quite yet…….
I might have one more in me. I've been pondering………
last night's sky prompted this one
starry night
where have you hidden
the moon
oops – forget the question mark
starry night
where have you hidden
the moon?
or
starry night
where have you hidden
your moon?
high tide low tide
pulled beneath the sheets am I
goodnight moon
sorry, need to revise:
high tide low tide
pulled beneath the sheets
good night moon
Thanks… ; )
…another moon:
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees (Joseph Mueller)
red moon
only the chimneys rise
from the ashes
Hi Joseph, thanks for the feedback
lorin
Thinking about what others see in the moon:
hunter's moon -
the hare
ready for flight
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees /Joseph Mueller
on the black screen
a moon's face reflected…
computer crash
2 more!
a cardboard alphabet
tacked to backyard trees (Joseph Mueller)
pregnant moon
belly hiccups softly
kicking her sister
the youngest moon
checking her out
his smile widens
The moon image and the playfulness of JesephÄôs ku really triggered your imagination!
ItÄôs interesting that there are some that refer to the Mother Goose rhyme. In
English, the moon and playfulness go really well, it seems.
Thank you Michael for suggesting
counting the seven sisters
my finger lands
on the moon (Rhonda Poholke)
for our moon ku. It surely works here, after JosephÄôs image of a backyard. Needless
to say itÄôs a great haiku on its own. I like the self-referential quality of VasileÄôs
our renku booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it [I guess the last word ÄúitsÄù should be Äúit.Äù Right, Vasile? ]
and the acuteness of perception in SandraÄôs
the sound of a
chrysalis tearing -
waxing moon
This is a superb haiku! JosephÄôs reference to ÄúDraculaÄù in
Claudia
moon-eyed
strapped to her bed
is also impressive. Funny and eerie at the same time. AshleyÄôs following ku
up from the desk
the moon tells me
time for bed
rings the bell to many, I guess!
Okay, let me choose VasileÄôs this time. It will add another dimension to our renga.
(Oh, we are calling ours ÄúrengaÄù! Vasile, can I change the word ÄúrenkuÄù
into ÄúrengaÄù? For the present, I post it as it is.)
Oh, the Äúthree ku at mostÄù rule is getting tough for me. IÄôm willing to choose
RhondaÄôs or JosephÄôs third, but then two of our best players would be
out of the game!
Dear Kenji san,
Thank you so much. I am delighted with your choise. Really I write together M. Dale a renga book, “Fragrance of lime”. I forgot it in veranda.Coming back after it I sensed the wind turning the leaves.And the moon was just rising.This was all. Our work has like a subtitle “renga poems”. If it is possibly, please put instead of .Thank you.
Okay, Vasile, I changed yours like
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
God choice, Keiji! Congatulations Vasile! I like where the “moon reads it” may lead….hmmm.
Keiji san and Mr Mueller thank you.
Yes, I agree, Vasile's is great – the sentinent moon is a great direction to take!
Ok, I'll have a try at it – not sure whether I should have a question mark or not though
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
a picnic blanket escapes
Fujin's bag?
Here's another try
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
a white war raging
three cooks and an empty bag
or a shorter version?
a white war rages
three cooks
Vasile, congratulations! It is a magic ku in all senses of the word
…a response with reference to my favourite of all plays.
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isle
or
a circle drawn in chalk
becomes Prospero's isle
ooh, I love “Prospero's isle”!
ok, last try!
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
the little monarch
settling into orange
Hi Vasile – congratulations on your moon ku – 'our renga booklet' – wouldn't it be nice if Cordite did produce a book on this finished renga? Any plans that way Keiji? And Keiji, I guess I'm still a player – and I'll take your comment as a compliment and thank you whole heartedly – also because I am getting so much out of this like minded 'family' workshoping
Hi Keiji and all,
Vasile's ku works so well …
Let me risk a few responses:
an exquisite orrery
in an old manÄôs pocket
caught in the gears
a dead fly tells the time
bareback on the herd
the cattle egrets ride
and one more…
low tide exposes
a sculpture park
Vasile – how you say you were inspired by your ku – would have been a magic-moment for you? Out there on the veranda, a book and the moon rising
Hi Anne – I love your 'low tide' ku – and Lorin your 'Prospero's isle' ku -
Anne, I love the word “orrery”!
Here is one attempt to follow Vasile:
like augury
from Nanna's china cup
oops, my last entry should read:
like augury
from Nana's china cup
Let me try another:
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
like tea leaves
settling in china
Okay, while I am simmering this Burmese seafood stew, I am writing these ku! (Rhyme unintended.) I am going to try one with a purely natural setting:
spring: the maples
reach toward each other
No, no, no! See what happens? Every time I get on ku in, I have a better idea for it! So, I'll try this:
budding, the maples
discuss spring
thanks, Joseph. 'The Tempest' is my very favourite play of all.:-)
… more variations!
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
gulls wait for the tide
on Prospero's isle
a revel for players
on ProsperoÄôs isle
Hey Lorin! How about:
bell, book, and candle
here comes the sun!
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it (Vasile Moldovan)
blown away by spaces
the brevity of words
or
a silver mansion
swallowed by high tides
or
ku after ku after ku
in the burning midnight oil
in keeping with Shakespeare's birthday (4/23):
Caliban, free
travels to Venice
Thanks for the comments Rhonda and Joseph.
Lorin, I like the link to Prospero's isle and Joseph, I think the link from reading to augury is great. I wonder if 'leaves' following 'leaf after leaf' is too much, but I really like that ku.
One more from me:
on her cheek
the milky breath of a galaxy
Congratulations Vasile.
Anne, Joseph – 'orrery', 'augury' – wonderful sounds- the way they roll around the mouth…
One from me:
deep deep beyond the light
the creatures light themselves
Out of nowhere, except moonlight:
the hunter, afoot
fears the fleeing horses
in the morning – tin mug
tea and tumbleweed
or, perhaps:
the huntsman, afoot,
fears the failing light
Hi Anne…thanks. This of yours fits beautifully, too, imo:
on her cheek
the milky breath of a galaxy
um… Keiji, I'm not sure if I should or not, but I guess the moderator will know and sort it out one way or another. There is a new on-line haiku journal, with a rather short time left for submissions for the first issue. Those of you interested in haiku-in-English as well as renga might want to take a look and consider submitting. I would email you all privately if I had your addresses. Here's the url:
http://geantree.webs.com/
Link away, Lorin!
But now, as we approach the 500th comment on this half of the renga, on with the haiku!
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it (Vasilie)
eating gum tree letters
youtube koala
our renga booklet -
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it (Vasile Moldovan)
making Anzac biscuits -
wearing grandpa's medals
rain silences
the whispering sand
whittling blind
with his pocket knife
he dreams of silverfish
nibbling big holes
Our renga booklet Äì
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
The murmur of leaves
like a sweet calling
or
A ray of moon
lies near my pillow
Thanks Joseph! I'm not sure which version is stronger, but perhaps the first…
Loved your 'firefly' confessional, very impressive!
And Sandra, your 'five people' ku is fantastic too
she's packing Anzac biscuits
in the Billy Tea tin
okay, this may be too self-referential, but I like the way it sounds:
little poems
for the big world
or, in another vein:
sunflower kitchen
ruined by salt
or:
spilling the story
out to fireflies
Ashley, love the “three cooks”!
These 3 are great, Origa – especially the first 2 – really like the kinda cruel image of the golfers and the creeping squash is a vivid image
Ashley
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
the raven cocks his head,
should I?
or
unfolding across the music stand
the scent of gardenias
or
five people at the funeral
and this endless sky
playing Liszt on stage -
his fingers stumble
or perhaps:
he dreams he's playing Liszt
on stage – his fingers stumble
Rainbow trout jumps
Grabbing grandfathers fly
or
in the darkness -
silverfish
I've one more offering-
Bannister's fast mile
the crowd's roar – step by step
the woodland crocus
pushing up through the soil
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
pinning a butterfly to the board
his fingers ache
or
laughter from another room
I press my ear to the door
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it / Vasile Moldovan
the golfers laughing
beside the graveyard
*
creeping squash surround
the farmer's house
*
a beggar's blessing
to the penny-giver
or
Bannister's fast mile
the crowd roars step by step
Thank you, Ashley, I appreciate your comment! My husband is a golfer, and I went to golf courses with him many times, and even tried to hit some balls, hehe
As for the squash — look at the photo, they ARE alive!
http://img-fotki.yandex.ru/get/9/markpon1.d/0_5c11_b9794ad3_orig
Ashley, I think the first version of your ku
a white war raging
three cooks and an empty bag
– is more vivid. Very intriguing, I like it!
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it
(Vasile Moldovan)
a cheeky possum
looking over her shoulder
and
an uncertain future
in the lines of my palm
(Vasile Moldovan)
Of, Lorin, I like this.The last…Of cours, in the llife line.
This time I'll simply choose the one that seems the best to follow Vasile's:
our renga booklet-
the wind turns leaf after leaf
and the moon reads it (Vasile Moldovan)
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isleÄÄ(Lorin Ford)
Yes, it's Lorin's third, but I cannot resist it!
Oh, we have only 6 ku left, already. The traditional renga book says: the first 6 ku
are “ ?è jo (overture),” and the middle 24 ku are “Á¥ ha (which literally means “break,”
so breaking away into a new image each round).” The last 6 are called “ÊÄ kyu
(rapid),” where ku should naturally flow to the end.
Okay, a three-liner, next!
Thanks Origa! I think you're right, it has more going on, huh? Geeze, they really are powerful looking creatures – almost massing for an attack! Golf is one of those fascinating sports that seem simplistic but just aren't.
Love your 'velvet' ku, Barbara!
Ok, going to try follow Lorin's now with a bit of a (possibly silly) joke for jazz fans
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isle
(Lorin Ford)
at the keys
Herbie Hancock
and a cantaloupe
That is a real challenge, Keiji and it has boggled me. To weave a Shakesperian tone into such a disciplined form. It may take a week or two. You are doing a fabulous job by the way. The whole series has been fantastic and I congratulate everyone who took part.
Thanks very much, Keiji! I'm so pleased you like that one.
Well, that's me out of the game, for this renga, but I'll still be coming back and enjoying all of the ku and making some comments until it's all completed. Looking forward to reading what comes up next!
[I'd love to see that 'youtube koala' in the renga, in one or another of its manifestations. That now famous photo was actually taken up in South Gippsland, at Mirboo North
]
Hi Paul…:-) ..the brave new world of 'Haikunaut Island Renga!
lorin
Congratulations Lorin and thanks for your comment on my “on her cheek…” ku.
Hi Lorin – how strange! (in a good way of course) Yes, Quartet it is, one of my fav jazz tracks. So relaxed – but the live one is a bit more action-packed … I just had a poem published in the new-ish oz jazz jounral 'extempore' – called, incidently, 'take 5' written, not as incidently, while listening to 'take 5'!
Ok, another quick one
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isle
(Lorin Ford)
high-stakes-rescue
at the sand castle
my brother and I
Hi Lorin – yes congratulations – another big smile is on its way to you – 'encore' is all I say now
Thanks, Anne and also, thanks Vasile for your comment on my 'palm reading' ku.
Now I can sit back and see what happens next!
Hi Keiji and all – I'll be first to make an offering – unless some one beats me to the key!
all as themselves
unscarving their souls
to the world
on whose hook
does Shakespeare's hat
hang today?
Congrats Lorin:
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isleÄÄ
(Lorin Ford)
I believe the island was somewhere near Samoa …
too hot to sleep -
falling mangos beat
the night's dark drum
or
stevenson's house -
the traveller's palm
points north
or
one lazy thunderhead
at sunset
the outrigger boys wave
the players rehearse
on Prospero's isle (Lorin Ford)
opening night Ķ
between velvet curtains
I look for papa
or
a donkey's bray
where ne means yes
and ochi no
or
locked in to
semantic dementia
in the spotlight
the players rehears
on Prospero's isle
(Lorin Ford)
heaven window-
the unseen old director
puts up the shetters
(Vasile Moldovan)
Thank you, Rhonda and Sandra,.
Ashley, would you believe I went to the launch of a sort of anthology today… British publication, 5 Aust. poets, titled 'Take 5'. Anyone remember the Dave Brubreck Quartet?
.. or was it quintet?
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isle
(Lorin Ford)
raindrops running
down her cheeks
his widow looses the cloth
another hot day -
tourists photograph a blue fish on ice,
torch ginger
the players rehearse
on Prospero's isle
( Lorin Ford )
floodlights
blacking out-
sunset
or
in the open air
the floodlights black out slowly-
summer sunset
(Vasile Moldovan)
the actor the actor
in the mirror
in the mirror
in VinnieÄôs trousers
Bottom stumbles
into PuckÄôs midsummer
Schr??dingerÄôs cat
plays hide and seek
with PavlovÄôs dog
Congratulations Lorin on your lovely 'Tempest' ku.
A try from me, from Naples:
Vesuvius stretches -
drivelling fire and diamonds
down its sides
Hmm – that sounds as though I'm in Naples, which I'm not (although I wouldn't mind) – so I'll say -
a try from me, for Alonso…
- after midnight things can go a bit topsy-turvy – in Sydney
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs isle
(Lorin Ford)
first day back
on the coffee machine
she remembers
ok, my last try for this link!
Ok, Lorin, I'll give it a shot
and sneak in a 4th try at this link….
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs island
(Lorin Ford)
a drop of sweat
takes five
Dave watches Joe
Oh! Well, that's only about 2 or 3 months into the project that I realised that!
How clever of me! Thanks, Lorin!
Ah, I knew I had that impression for a reason, so it is in fact 3 tries a link and 3 links per writer max! Ok, got it now, thank you
Really like Greg's 'cicadas' ku there, it's got a powerful image connected with the sound
Oh, and congratulations, Keiji, re: Red Leaves – it sounds like it's going to be a really fantastic publication!
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs island
(Lorin Ford)
A n airy spirit
over the frothy wavesĶ
ray of moon
Sorry, I try again. Someting was wrong with my conection and can't see my name.
the players rehearse
on Prospero's island
(Lorin Ford)
An airy spirit
over the frothy waves…
ray if moon
Yes, me too, that 'after midnight' ku of Geneveive's is great! Thanks, Rhonda, I've come to the conclusion that I may be stronger at writing ones with a little bit of a comical slant, which surprises me (in a good way)
Hi Ashley,
“just had a poem published in the new-ish oz jazz jounral ÄòextemporeÄô – called, incidently, Äòtake 5Ä? written, not as incidently, while listening to Äòtake 5Ä?!”
Nice coincidence
…perhaps, then, a 'take five' ku, as well, from you is in order?
Genevieve… love your 'after midnight'! Wondering, though, whether 'in Sydney' is needed, there on the end? I prefer it ending on 'topsy-turvey'.
lorin
Hi Keiji – I've been having a few 'keiji moments' and I hope these will be accepted with good faith and in the spirit of the 'muse' -
first one is a hybrid of my 'finger on the moon' ku
to follow -
'the players rehearse
on Prospero's isle' L F
counting pages
Keiji's finger lands
on the pulse
the following is one ku with different last lines
muse-guru Keiji
arrives
with camomile tea
muse-guru Keiji
arrives
with strong black coffee
muse-guru Keiji
arrives
with shiraz for all
…and thanks for your congrats, Genevieve.
“after midnight things can go a bit topsy-turvy – in Sydney”
..what would you think of:
after midnight
it all goes topsy-turvy
?
Hi Magdelena… this is lovely:
An airy spirit
over the frothy wavesĶ
ray of moon
[though I think that in English we'd be more likely to say 'a moon ray' or 'a ray of the moon']
…but I wonder whether the moon appearing again in the renga so close to Vasile's verse might make it's chances of being selected less likely? Something that resembles the moon, though, in miniature, occurs to me: a pearl. Perhaps that's one idea you might consider playing with?
…sorry about the typo: 'its chances', I mean: the possessive, not an abbreviation of 'it is'.
Dear lorin,
Thank you for your comments
I have to explain that those were just my late night mumblings to myself – about being in Naples and not being in Naples – but I like the idea – (thanks to you) – so I'll put it into three lines. I remember a lovely poetry teacher I had at Sydney Uni said that quite often when his students started to explain their poem, the explanation was more alive than the poem itself – perhaps the same can apply to midnight mumblings.
So… another try:
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
A couple more offerings…
at the make up table
her paint box
spills into the mirror
in the dressing room
in a red silk shirt a woman
is infinite
Genevieve…duh! Where is my head this morning? You probably didn't intend that as a submission to the renga, and of course the next ku is a 3-liner. Still…it did catch my eye.
after midnight
it all goes topsy-turvy
in Sydney
…or ? other possibilities for L3?…considering that we have a kind of 'place name' already in 'Prospero's isle]
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
Hi Rhonda,
I do like all your Keiji ku – 'finger lands on the pulse' and 'camomile tea' – but my absolute favourite is:
muse-guru Keiji
arrives
with shiraz for all (Rhonda)
Thanks lorin, GO
at the make up table
her paint box
spills into the mirror
Nice one, Anne. Love the hint of the surreal or the magical you get here with the use of 'into'.
Ashley, I believe we can have as many goes as we like [within reason], on the thread. Keiji's 'maximum of three per person/player' only refers to the maximum from each of us that'll be selected for the renga. That's how I read it, anyway.
Or perhaps:
the players rehearse
on Prospero's island (lorin Ford)
midnight -
and things
unhinge
Congratulations, Lorin! I love the Shakespeare and the playacting. Ashley, love the “golfers”! And Anne, great repetition with the actor and the mirror.
here's one from me:
bells ring
books snap shut
candles sputter
and, to keep touch with Lorin's wonderful ku:
so much sun
surrendered smiles
summer romance
another to play off Lorin:
tall ships sail
wide berths
no shenanigans
Hi guys. — I've been on the road, and am just now managing to have a peek at what's going on … I like the sense of anticipation and the touch of magic of this one of yours, lorin.
So, here is what I have, for the present.
the players rehearse
on ProsperoÄôs island (lorin Ford)
each entry's well-practised
like the oiled hinges
of the living room door
or
cranes on the skyline
level adds to level
new kid on the block
or
the cicadas' scraping
is finally in tune
but, the seats are empty
or
desert storm
“mission accomplished” –
but just a dry run
So many to like… Genevieve's two midnight ku; Sandra's too hot to sleep; Barbara's opening night; Rhonda's counting pages; Ashley's high-stakes-rescue, to name a few.
Thanks Lorin and Joseph for your feedback.
Ashley, like you
I believe we are permitted a maximum of 3 and only 3 per linked verse
as in the intro:
So weÄôre basically asking you to add your contribution as a candidate for the next ku in the comment box (maximum of 3 haiku, please!). You can also add your comment to recommend another personÄôs ku thatÄôs already on the list. Please add the reason why you like it.
Peace and Love
Barbara and Ashley, that's what I thought at first, too, going by what was written under 'Submit your ÄòkuÄô to Haikunaut Island Renga!'[as quoted by Barbara ] until I read Keiji's later remarks within the thread for part #1.
I'm quoting briefly from it here, but I'll give the date, as the whole of Keiji's post is worth rereading:
Keiji Says:
March 12th, 2009 at 12:15 am
ÄúHi, everyone. The instructions about this renga might be a bit unclear. Ķ
The ÄúMaximum of 3 haiku per personÄù instruction might also be causing confusion. It means that the renga has only 36 ku, so we cannot include more than 3 ku from a person, for variety.”
at the make up table is a glorious ku Anne, the colours and the mirror have all sorts of possibilities attached to them (textures too).
Hi all – thank you Genevieve and Anne for your comments – Gen I very much like
'after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy'
and Anne your 'paint box' I too like – also Ashley's 'cantaloupe' – your sense of humour coming out again Ashley – and Sandra's 'falling mangoes' – but as you say Anne, there are so many great ku – again – and yes I like Magdelena's ' an airy spirit' – is so lovely – but, hi Lorin – we've also had 'pearl' in Gen's earlier lovely ku no. 15 – I wonder might that be thought of as going back by Keiji -
ah, yes, you're right, Rhonda..'pearl' has been done. Similarly, though I very much like Greg's:
the cicadasÄô scraping
is finally in tune
but, the seats are empty
…we already have 'tune' in the 7th selected ku, Vasile's
in no time
a lonely cricket
calls the tune
This of Sandra's works beautifully, imo:
too hot to sleep -
falling mangos beat
the nightÄôs dark drum
…as does Vasile's
in the open air
the floodlights black out slowly-
summer sunset
I like this longer variation of the two Vasile offers because the form echoes the slow dimming of the floodlights and also creates the sense that people [or at least the 'speaker' of the ku] are lingering in the warmth of a Summer night, perhaps after an open-air theatre event, such as we have here in Melbourne's Botanical Gardens in summertime.
Dear Lorin, thank you for your coments.I didn't see Melbourne's Botanical Gardens but in my city there was a summer theatre. Also seeng your Propspero's isle I rimembered about “The dream of a summer night” . I think that Shakespeare's work can be a spring of haiku.
First, sorry about the confusion about the “3 ku per person” rule in this renga.
On this point, Lorin explains most clearly in her comment:
KeijiÄôs Äòmaximum of three per person/playerÄô only refers to the maximum from each
of us thatÄôll be selected for the renga. ThatÄôs how I read it, anyway.
Thanks, Lorin. I also think it would be better to put a limit to the number of
ku each poet can submit for a round…
Okay, our 31st is:
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
It seems to me that it has some sense of the end of a party getting near.
Thank you Rhonda. I'm fluttered by your “Keiji” ku. However, the first one
would be much better without my name:
counting pages
your finger lands
on the pulse
Great haiku!
And Ashley, I was surprised at your referring to Herbie Hancock, since I was
playing “Maiden Voyage” just now!
Yes, the swoop of kites ku is a startling image, great! and so too, Aldia's gentler ku is memorable!
Wow, that's amazing how many links have popped up between jazz, Keiji! A superb album, that one, esp the title track
Ok, 1st try
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
(Genevieve Osborne)
Mr Hargreaves
thinks orange
with an upside down hat
Congrats, Genevieve! I love your topsy-turvy ku!
oh yes, so we are, sorry! will make a possible adjustment
Just a revision and an extra one, a little silly but
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
(Genevieve Osborne)
thinking of orange
Mr Hargreaves and an upside down hat
or
spilling from the bar
rabbits in evening wear
Great job, Genevieve! Sometimes, the words come from serendipity.
Here's a try from me:
a swoop of kites
carves the sky
or
the right words
serendipity
or
like pineaplle cake
upside-down
oops, that last one should read:
like pineapple cake
upside-down
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
good night
possum
or
under the circus tent
flying trapeze
or
night becomes day
day becomes night
I like your “good night/possum” Aldia!
well done Genevieve – I shall keep a look-out for midnights now – Rho
Oh, how wonderful. Thank you Keiji, I am so delighted to have a ku chosen for part two of this great renga.
…and to lorin – very big smiles –
and thank you too.
Thank you Anne, Rhonda, Ashley, Aldia and Joseph for your comments.
Joseph, I love your 'a swoop of kites/carves the sky' – what a great word for a gathering of kites, it gives the sudden diving movement perfectly.
Aldia, I also really like 'good night/possum'.
Congratulations, Genevieve!
…it fits superbly.
Vasile, you might consider resubmitting your 'sunset' ku if the chance of something to link it to comes up?
“…in my city there was a summer theatre. Also seeing your PropsperoÄôs isle I remembered about ÄúThe dream of a summer nightÄù ”
ah, then what I imagined through your ku was right
These Summer, outdoor theatres probably happen in many parts of the world. 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' is a favourite at the Botanical Gardens venue every Summer, here….and floodlit, just like in your ku. …Bottom bumbling around among the bushes, the unmistakable aroma of Aeroguard, and all 
Jazz for me tonight: early Coleman Hawkins and Roy Eldridge: Live at the Opera House. Sweet saxophone and trumpet pairing.
a ku:
Hawkins blew sweet
the dancers flew
Hi Keiji – I appreciate your comments and thank you- I did send in more ku than I normaly would last round – namely the 'keiji ku' – Hi Lorin – yes, we have covered many themes/ideas/words in this renga havn't we?
Hi Ashley – I like your 'Mr Hargreaves' – but don't forget we are back to 2 liners
to follow Genevieve's
'after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy'
on our heads
dropping syllables
on with the show
said The Walrus
or
the show must go on
said The Walrus
Thanks for the feedback Rhonda and Gen! I'll have to send out some feedback soon, but it grows late!
For now, one last shot, something along the 'dawn' theme
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
(Genevieve Osborne)
dew on the swingset
no shortage of gold
continuing in the musical theme:
hi-hat bop
the blue note drops
somersault
blue tinted daisies
in terms of natural scenes and what happens after midnight, I'd like to submit this ku:
the morning light
delays warming
or, unnatural scenes:
bottles strewn
dawn fails to wake
Lorin, thank you for your coments and for that sugestion. KO published more English and French haiku after Baudelaire and Verlaine. It was an interesting experiment. I hope that sameone will write haiku after Will. Then I will be one of the readers.
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
at the oasis
the drinks are on us
or
down the plughole
in opposite directions?
or
in the empty airport
two cleaners sweeping floors
This is of course very addictive and I could do more but I understand
3 is perhaps a good maxim for individual offerings; is this right?
Barbara, as a former bartender, i really like your “at the oasis/the drinks are on us.” Good job!
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
Big Dipper spills
fireflies alight
or maybe
Big Dipper spills
birthday cake
Rhonda, I like your 'on with the show/said the Walrus', and Ashley, 'Mr Hargreaves'.
and, from being in New York growing up:
no tokens are sought
the subways run free
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
a gleaming waterlily
in the old turtle's eyes
sledding off the Big Dipper
on arctic snow
above the poor village
Aurora Borealis
Hi Genevieve – thanks for your comment – and Origa I like your 'a gleaming waterlily' – and Ashley yes I like — 'spilling from the bar/rabbits in evening wear' – reminds me of something I wrote about a sheep's evening dress once – I also like your 'hi-hat bop/the blue note drops' Joseph – and Molly your 'blue tinted daisies' – but again – so many good ku
That is a beautiful island. I am a little slow sorry.
I am Caliban
says the naked man
exiting his cave,
Dear Keiji,
Apologies for sending more than 3 in the last couple of rounds.
I like your kites Joseph. I had been musing on kites of a different kind and the dawn wind, so…
answering the wind, the kite
says “let go!”
“wake up!” says the dawn wind
knocking at the window
while parents sleep
he's playing EVE Online
Also, congratulations Genevieve.
And thanks Rhonda for your comment on the paintbox.
g'day Joseph et al
danke, but
does anyone remember maria muldaur?
peace and love
I don't know why I don't make myself go to bed at night, then I wouldn't have to revise in the morning! I just had this image about the Big Dipper spilling something and then a party and had to put something down last night….too much~
Big Dipper spills
fireflies
Hey Kelly, love the 'broken glass' ku and Greg the 'running into dawn' gives me a 'to catch a thief' feel for some reason, it's a great ku!
Captivating
Resignating light
Haunts me
Ghosts by first light
take flight
Well done, Genevieve, this quite appeals to me. Ashley and lorin, thanks for your comments on my cicadas! — I am finding that working on renga ku is a good way to pass the time at the airport lounge, on the way home … I've come up with:
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
last flight
to Kubrick's bedroom /resubmitted
or
he runs into the dawn
above the chimneys
or
my socks on backwards
feels so good now
The nightclock winds
everyone to dreamland
lay on my back
watching cloud pictures
windy tree branches
children laugh below
movie projected house
tents all around
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve Osborne)
mornings sun
brings agonizing pain
Lightning strikes
rain pours
thunder rolls gray clouds
wind picks up
carries me away
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvey (Genevieve Osborne)
a path to choose
one straight one curvey
or
bars close down
this one store town
or
broken glass
unmatched shoes
Topsy-turvey ( Genevive Osborne)
party stopping surprize
blue lights
all run away
from blue uniforms
Hey All: reading a wonderful book by Shkespeare scholar Stephen Greenblatt: Hamlet in Purgatory. He discusses how catholic vs. protestant thinking colored Hamlet's (in)decision.
so here's a ku that stems from my weird reading habits:
the joke of heaven
fails in a sinner's eyes
Hi Kelly I love your rhyme of “curvey” with “turvey”. Very nice.
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
(Genevieve Osborne)
first act of the day
a red ball balances on the big top
or
again, the milkman's song
loud and not quite in tune
or
tucking into the camellia
a little green bird
Ashley – I like your “dew on the swingset/no shortage of gold” – can just see that deep rusty metal of the old swingsets turning gold.
Thank you Anne for your congrats. I like your “answering the wind, the kite/says 'let go'”,
and Aldia your “Big Dipper spills/fireflies” and Greg's “my socks on backwards/feels so good now”.
one from me:
such weather – too much
for Mary Poppins' umbrella
Hi all – it doesn't pay to leave does it? Always something happening in renga time/land
one more to follow Gen's '…..topsy-turvy'
at a reading
of Paradise Lost
Keiji – I've just realised I've used past tense for my 'Walrus' ku – can I please change to? – (I'm brain-dull sometimes)
on with the show
says The Walrus
or
the show must go on
says The Walrus
Hi Paul – welcome – this renga hooks you in alright – pleased you are enjoying it – I like your 'I am Caliban' ku – but please note we are up to a 2 liner this time – next time will be a 3 liner – unless Keiji springs a surprise on us – can you shorten your ku?
And I think there were a couple other 3 liners there too from writers – sorry if I seem to be sticking my nose in – just trying to help the new writers
BTW if anyone would like to read a nice article about rhyme in haiku go to:
http://www.poetrysociety.org.nz/node/393
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy
(Genevieve Osborne)
the shape of your wedding ring
between my lips
Hi Sandra – thank you for the address – I shall have a look – is your son Harry still writing haiku?
Only when his mother makes him!
But then he often comes out with something pretty good – something to be said for browbeating.
Thanks Sandra – an interesting article.
one more from me:
flute-like music – the wind
playing the 'no standing' sign
Sandra, I love, “the shape of your wedding ring/between my lips”: so lovely (and sensual)!
But I was thinking about how topsy-turvy objects often get. A car is supposed to roll, not rot. I propose this ku:
a Morris Minor
disappears into the lawn
or, another, much more personal:
the inside of your elbow
where I like to kiss
verse 32, is it? Topsy turvy made me think of these sounds; plus all the jazz references. You people are all so creative!
there's a good boy
Godzilla receives his due
rollin' and tumblin'
the night hawk's last pass
jam up, jelly tight
last call for take-out
perhaps this is better:
flute – the wind playing
the 'no standing' sign
Thanks Joseph. I used the circle image simply because it CAN'T be topsy-turvey! Contrary. And I thought if you placed the ring vertically in your lips you would have a very surprised look to your face. Maybe, eh? Haiku are funny little beasts.
I liked your Morris Minor. I know someone who had a rusting Morris 1000 (Morrie thou in technical parlance) who kept promising to do it up, but it just kept rusting. One day a landscape designer asked to use it in a show garden at a big competition and off it went … on the back of a truck (and good riddance said his wife).
Dear Haikunauts,
Great to see so many new ku! And congratulations to Bandit for posting the 1,000th comment on Haikunaut Island Renga!
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve)
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
1000 comments… this has been an incredible journey!
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve)
my knife divides
the fish's belly
or
the harsh incense
of mosquito coils
or
the last blackberries
ripen unevenly
(Graham Nunn)
Love the latest incarnation of “youtube koala”, David.
And so many other great offerings in this round.
A few that caught my eye:
Sandra's “tucking into the camelia…” and “wedding ring…” ku;
Graham's “the harsh incense…”,
Genevieve's “no standing sign”,
bandit's “jam up…”,
Kelly's “ghosts by first light…”
Thanks for your comment, Genevieve.
after midnight
it all goes
tipsy-turvy
(Genevieve)
monarch butterflies
on the way home
(Vasile Moldovan)
Hi Graham (and thx Anne!),
it has been amazing, hasn't it?
and still 3 ku to go!
D
Hi, everyone. Over 1,000 comments!? Wow!
Well, this is high time that our so far hidden mascots come up on the stage!
after midnight
it all goes
topsy-turvy (Genevieve)
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves (David Prater)
Among other condidates, I like Kelly's with its “topsy-turvy”/”curvey” rhyme:
a path to choose
one straight one curvey
Forced rhyming might kill haiku, but in this case the rhyming really works.
Japanese haiku also has traditionally used sound devices like alliteration and
assonance (end-rhymes usually go wrong in Japanese, though.) As I read
your ku in this renga, it seems to me that English haiku has reached the point
where you can more boldly try techniques from English poetry in haiku writing.
Thank you for the link to the “haiku & rhyme” article, Sandra.
Dear Keiji,
I am indeed honoured!
Go Haikunaut Koalas!
D
Hello! Really like Greg's 'cave' ku and Gen's 'trying' ku, both are striking in the image they summon up
A frist try:
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
the snakeskin glitters
Rod of Asclepius
in hand
not sure if the snakeskin is a good enough link to tube from youtube though
Actually now the healing, renewal link seems too obvious, sorry guys
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
cases without seeds
floating
to nowhere
(Vasile Moldovan)
Congratulations Davey – Go Youtube Koala – GO.
congratulations Davey – yes I guess that's all of us out here in pixel land -
yes Sandra -to rhyme or not to rhyme – I guess that is the question – I think if a ku is to be rhymed then rhythm has to be looked at too – I've never seen rhyming haiku before – I think it would have to be a very careful, gentle rhyme to NOT take away from the haiku – I very much liked Paul Hendricks ku 'just soaring higher/until it becomes the sky/with an eagle's cry -
trying to hold hands -
bride and groom
on the jumping castle
hmmm – I was thinking of a You Tube image – having just been to a wonderful country wedding where the bride and groom did get on a jumping castle – but now realize it's probably not a far enough leap away from 'topsy-turvy'…
Wow that's crazy – but it works!
a cave of a thousand crystals
all for nothing Äì
very pretty
or
a flyÄôs eye
sees a thousand raised hands
a wing about to move
My pleasure, Greg! And Joseph, I think you're right, lowercase would be better
The morris minor is great too, as is Barbara's 'teeth' ku, scary!
a 2nd try
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
fingerless gloves
beneath the park bench -
dining in tonight
Not sure my one above moves forward much…
last go
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
even the tramp
can smile
putting his feet up
Very pleased to see that 'youtube koala' in the renga!
Congrats, David, and also thanks for being our patient and good-willed moderator.
My goodness… over 1000 comments already! and I haven't counted how many ku!
Greg, I like “a fly's eye/…” Nice p.o.v. And Ashley, “the rod of Asclepius”! Wonderful and evocative. Look at “rod” in the lower case?
Here is one from me, following koalas and where gun trees might spring up:
a Morris Minor
disappears into the lawn
landscaping
Dear Joseph – I really like 'a Morris Minor/disappears into the lawn/landscaping' -
but…do you think the koalas might be a bit worried about the 'gun trees' springing up?
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves (David Prater)
anonymous says
the star border eats
roots and leaves
dispersing coughs -
a drop of herbal oil
at the penthouse
nightmares
her teeth are falling out
one by one
1000?!! Thank you, Davey. Pretty new to this, actually. verse 33?:
perhaps
a most auspicious event
or nothing at all
blowing bubbles
a strange call emits
from the forest
blowing bubbles
out of the forest
they lead us back home
bush concert tonight -
she wreathes lemon-scented
leaves about her hair
Thanks for your comments, Ashley and Joseph. – Joseph, your morris minor is suitably surreal …
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
bright lights
in the bush -
he can't see past them
Hi all – Keiji – this is my contribution to follow Davey's ….'pixel gum leaves' – please note that the first one is a re-submission with suggested change -
counting pages
your finger lands
on the pulse
butterflies in Kyoto….
Sogi turns
to listen
Sogi's stream
meandering between
the centuries
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves (David Prater)
inside the machine
code
doodles with base 2
Äúfussy eatersÄù Äì
5 across
under a coffee stain
and borrowing (if I may) the other half of David's first youtube image…?
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle
Sorry everyone – I now see I'm repeating 'leaves' in my earlier suggestion of 'bush concert' – so if I could please revise it to:
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
bush dance – banksia
blooms on the hats
of the band
Ashley, I like your 'fingerless gloves' and Rhonda your 'counting pages' and 'butterflies in Kyoto. Sogi turns/to listen – and Anne your 'cross-species kindness'
Another self-referential suggestion …
keyboard ku collect
clattering in cyberspace
a renga looks on
Genevieve, you're right: koalas and “gun” trees don't mix!
Hi Sandra, I just wanted to say how much I liked the 'making love' ku – and actually, I think the first version is stronger
And thank you, Gen! You're 'banksia blooming' ku is great too, nice mix of humana nd plant movement!
Thanks Genevieve.
I like your “bush dance – banksia…” ku.
Rhonda, I very much like your “butterflies in Kyoto” ku.
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
making love on the floor -
yesterday's headlines
on my back
or
calling to the ancestors
her hands tremble
like falling leaves
or
a shooting star -
the exchange student
tells us what to do
Sorry, would like to amend to:
making love on the floor -
yesterday's headlines
folded across my back
Thanks
I just want to develop the same theme (as before) -
in deep cyberspace
ku swarming here and there
a renga looks on
I like Genevieve's 'blooms on the hats of the band'. Tee-Hee!
youtube koalas
munch on pixel gum leaves
(David Prater)
the last tag
on the dead artist's site:
'contact me'
Yes, I agree – it's a powerful image, well done Anne! Glad to have helped, Sandra
Graham, that's an excellent shift for the renga! I like it a lot, a gentle way to move into something, perhaps, Hitchcockian! (if that is, in fact, a word?)
Ok, first try
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle (Anne Elvey)
docked at the mud-puddle
sails of a butterfly
Hi, everyone. Okay, 4 verses to go!
Among the offerings this round I really like Sandra's
making love on the floor -
yesterdayÄôs headlines
on my back
I agree with Ashley: this first version seems to me better than the second.
However, it might be too strong at this point of our renga…
I also love Rhonda's reference to Sogi in her
butterflies in KyotoĶ.
Sogi turns
to listen
SogiÄôs stream
meandering between
the centuries
Sogi ( ÆóÁá, 1421-1502) is an early renga writer, the best before Basho.
The images of butterflies and the meandering stream are both nice, but…
Let me choose the following gentler ku this time:
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle (Anne Elvey)
It naturally connects Davey's cyberspace with a real scene.
Oh, I cannot believe we have only 3 ku space left. The number 36 certainly
seemed a lot before beginning this renga, but now it feels rather short!
Congratulations Anne, It's a heartwarming ku.
Thanks for the nice comments Ashley and Keiji. I have recorded the original in my file, thanks to your advice.
Congratulations Anne. The story of the koala and the fireman played big here and it was a very touching few moments, made poignant when the koala put its paw in the fireman's hand.
Three is a magical number in folk tales and fairy stories …
Hi Anne – congratulations – lovely ku
Thank you Keiji, I really feel that ku at least half belongs to David as he introduced the image in the first half, and am delighted to have it included.
Thank you Genevieve, Sandra and Rhonda for your congratulations. Nice to hear that the moment of encounter between the fire fighter and the koala found its way across the Tasman.
And congrats too, to Vasile, for his successes in the One Thousand Cranes haiku competition.
Congratulations Ann, wonderful ku.
And a big hello to Davey! Loved the youtube koalas.
Here's my response:
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle (Anne Elvey)
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
Anne and Genevieve – I've just found your comments to my last ku – and thank you for them – Keiji – thank you for your comments re my Sogi ku
Thanks Anne, Ashley and bandit for your earlier comments. Graham, I really like your 'morning meditation/a crow disrupts my shadow'.
A first try:
bring ladders – she wants
to tie the clouds down
or perhaps:
bring ladders – she wants
to tie down the clouds
Thank you Sandra. And congratulations Barbara for your recent honorable mention at the the international haiku contest in Romania.
cross-species kindness-
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
a cricket drinks thirstly
the last dew droplet
(Vasile Moldovan)
Graham – I too like your 'morning meditation' and Genevieve I like your second attempt – 'bring ladders – she wants /to tie down the clouds' – lovely
Thank you Vasile.
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle (Anne Elvey)
the latest release
a bargain at $500!
or
hominian lÄôamour
has no boundaries
or
in smoldering rubble
my motherÄôs wedding ring
Hi Barbara – I like your 'in smoldering rubble/my mother's wedding ring'
to follow Anne's '….water bottle'
I cannot save you, bronze-eyed
moth at my window
on their wedding day…
guests planting trees
Keiji – Yes Basho I'd heard of but not Sogi who as you'll know, was welcomed by many powerful people all over Japan – pretty good for a young poet coming from humble stock – so I've another Sogi ku – inspired by Yoshitoshi's beautiful print of Sogi writing a couplet for a ghost
autumn showers
I write for Sogi
Dear all,
There are many beautiful ku here. Rhonda, I like your “autumn showers” and “I cannot save you bronze-eyed/moth at my window”. And Barbara your “in smoldering rubble/my mother's wedding ring”. Graham, thank you for the congrats; really like your “morning meditation” ku. And Genevieve, your revised “bring ladders” is magic. And Ashley, I very much like “docked at the mud-puddle/sails of a butterfly”.
cross-species kindness -
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
leaving work for the last time -
how green the moss in the gutter
or
singing at the top of her voice
the persimmon tree in autumn
or
counting the stepping stones
she only gets to two
Very difficult to follow all these wonderful ku's! I shall give it a try:
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle (Anne Elvey)
a newborn babe
cries for his mother's breast
a patron pours out his soul
barkeeper pays solace
Thanks everyone! I'd like to second pretty much every one else's favs (but also mention Sandra's 'leaking work') – this is going to be hard for Keiji!
a second go
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
a rumble of thunder
rocks black statues
Congratulations, Anne! I looked at those images on youtube. And Greg, love the “crow” ku, especially as the largest crow I've seen just flew past my head as I opened my apartment door! Wow!
Genevieve, i love the “bring ladders”! But it reminds me of a drunken ski coach once exhorting me to “pull down the sky!”
I just don't know where to go with this ku. Hmmmm…. perhaps something a bit nostalgic:
the embers settle
she writes to ghosts
(with a bow to Sogi and Rhonda)
a simple ku for my last try
cross-species kindness -
a fireman offers his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
three feet deep now
waiting for the bath
cross-species kindness-
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
on her ashen visage
La Gioconda's smile
(Vasile Moldovan)
Hi Joseph – 'the embers settle/she writes to ghosts' – is so beautiful
Hi Anne – thank you for your comments on my moth and Sogi poems – Keiji
I'm changing my moth ku as I've just realised it goes back to previous ku
Please accept this as my submission -
I cannot save you
bronze-eyed moth fluttering
Thank you Rhonda, Anne and Joseph.
There are so many lovely ones, I like Ashley's 'docked at the mud-puddle', Vasile's 'a cricket drinks thirstily', Barbara's 'in smoldering rubble', Rhonda's 'bronze-eyed moth' and 'autumn showers/I write for Sogi', Aldias 'a patron pours out his soul', Joseph's 'the embers settle' and Sandra's 'singing at the top of her voice'.
another try:
she's growing a rambling rose
across the Paris rooftops
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
a four days old monkey
too cute to be true
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
when I leave home
she sits silently at the door
Many of these ku seem to deal with objects left or refound, at least that's where I keep returning to:
a Swiss Army knife
found in father's drawer
or
a family history
written on linen
or
thunder of rose petals
as she exits
cross-species kindness Äì
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Anne Elvey)
another stray kitten
my son brings home
Or, maybe like this:
my son brings home
another stray kitten
Hi all. Coming back after a while, lovely to see how the renga has been travelling. So many wonderful ku for this round, some thoughts 3rding/4thing others – especially striking for me are Graham's disrupted shadow, Ashley's butterfly sails, Genevieve's 2nd ladders for the clouds and Barbara's smoldering wedding ring …
Oooh, and just saw your last Origa – I really like your second version of son's kindness to the stray kitten.
Thank you so much, Fleur. It's the story of my life — we nurtured dozens of stray cats through our lives in Siberia, and now in Michigan
I really like Barbara's “wedding ring and Genevieve's “tie down the clouds”. Joseph reminded me of something “left” when i was younger staying over my grandparents house that is funny:
grandfather's teeth
out of place
this may be too strong but……..
drowning in spirits
purgatory
Okay, here is our third-to-last ku:
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow (Graham Nunn)
Graham had already sent us some nice ku (and also comments),
and I am very glad our renku has finally come to have his name.
Choosing a ku at a time is really tough, but I've noticed the qualities
of ku that I couldn't choose unfortunately also greatly contribute
to our renga. Probably, many of the ku chosen in the renga drew
out a lot from them. I'd like to thank you all the contributers
thousands of times!
I'll make another offering here, though Ashley's 'docked at the mud puddle-sails of a butterfly' makes my head swim-
cross-species kindness
a fireman offers
his water bottle
(Ann Elvey)
my head is swimming
lotus blossoms fill the mind
blossom viewing
Godzilla joins the queue
Oops! …a step behind! That is an excellent choice! Even if I could type faster, I must agree, Keiji san.
I'll see if I can contribute a blossom after this.
Hi, bandit. I love your “Godzilla” ku! As you wrote, the traditional renga rule book says the next (second-to-last) ku is about (cherry) blossoms.
If you (everyone!) would like to take up a challenge, post ku with cherry blossoms
or some culturely important blossoms in your country!
Thanks, Bandit! Love your Godzilla ku too! And congratulations Graham! An awesome link
Ok, here's a rough shot at a blossom:
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
platform – covered in blossoms
between them
the hiss of steam
Thanks, Keiji. Still too early for blossom here in Minnesota, USA. One can only imagine…
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
blossom cool
i imagine your
husky laughter
first song
sunning ourselves
we dream of blossoms
Hi Joseph – I really like the 'tulips' ku, it's got the feel of a really nice, clear day
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
words blossom -
at my shoulder
Huginn and Muninn
morning meditation-
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
-here is a wonder:
the Japanese rose blossoms
just in this moment!
or
elated with
fragrance of cherry blossom,
a swan in the drift
or
a beacon
at the witching hour-
cherry in blossom
(Vasile Moldovan)
Ok, last try from me for this one, thinking about disruption…
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
in the gutter -
cherry blossom rides
a wave of bubbles
g'day all
because we've had cherry blossom and pink in earlier verses I have gone with what is
very localised
peace and love
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow (Graham Nunn)
intoxicating
scents of daytura
in tubular bells
pawlonia blooms
stop me in my tracks
to the mountain top
almost home
the valley awakens
in acacia's gold
Thanks, Joseph! It's always fun to sneak in a few mythology references now and then! And I really like Sandra's 'a week' ku, quite a sombre one
Origa, not at all!
I think it's great – much better in fact, the rhythm didn't seem quite right in that first version and your fixes that and, like you said, changes angle, great!
Hey everyone, hope this isn't too rude – but I badly wanted to let you all know about something I'm starting up. Earlier we talked about making a group so this wonderful process wouldn't have to end – and to that end I've drawn this up:
http://issassnail.wordpress.com/
To which I hope you can all visit and join in on! As I said, sorry if this isn't ok, but I wanted to let you know before our renga here finished and we faced the possibility of drifting apart a bit – I know I'd miss you all a lot
Ashley
Congratulations Graham, your ku is such a beautiful one – the image is so distinct – sharp.
Yes Graham I second Genevieve's thoughts – lovely image
OK, I'm gonna get personal –
coming in my gate
a late pink rosebud has waited
all day
or
my crab-apple
graceful, leafy
did it bloom this spring?
Nicely done, Graham!
first try:
a contented droning -
bees flock
to the cumquat blossom
another try:
at my window
a froth
of gum blossom
or
my window bright
with a burst
of gum blossom
Hi all, what a wonderful choice again! Lovely ku, Graham.
It seems like after the crow has disrupted our thoughts for a moment, we are blossoming again!
In Russia, one of the culturely important blossoms is lilac — so let me try on this one. Maybe I will come up with something else later, am now very busy with the contest in LJ 
Enjoying this renga very much — thans for organizing it, Keiji!
morning meditation-
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
On our way
the cherry blossoms -
shadows in moon light
or
Lime blossoms
my memory book unfolded
by the wind
or
Starry night -
the scent of cherry pervades
all the emptiness
mmm Origa, that's beautiful
Thank you kindly, Genevieva!
Oh, sorry for misspelling your name, Genevieve, my bad.
That's OK Origa, I quite like Genevieva.
Okay, here is a play on the blossoms which, seemingly salacious, work well as haiku.
Cherry blossoms
early
training bra
or:
Cherry blossoms
too soon
for mother
(I have six sisters.)
six sisters!
and five brothers. I am the eldest of twelve.
another:
pink-lipstick
prom date
cherry blossoms
or, better:
cherry blossom
lipstick
my prom-date
looking at the flowers in my yard:
tulips
please the sky
with color
Just for fun, since I couldn't get the wattle out of my head:
wind skips by -
the golden wattle
chimes
in the house, says
Nanna, wattle blossoms
are bad luck
against the window
the caress of wattle -
inside her uncle is dying
now bed!
Ashley, I love “thought and memory”!
I like your idea of something other than cherry blossom, Barbara … great ku Graham, very subtle.
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow
(Graham Nunn)
our first kiss -
the cosmos daisies move
hardly at all
or
a week past midwinter -
red roses reflected
in his coffin lid
or
tracing a line on the map
with my finger -
a field of flanders poppies
Ashley, I like you ku:
platform – covered in blossoms
between them
the hiss of steam
I see it at a little bit different angle though:
the hiss of steam
between two platforms
covered in blossoms
I hope you don't mind
A very fresh image!
Glad you like the angle, Ashley
My second try :
hanami
she wipes off
the lipstick
I like it very much, Graham!
Ashley that's a terrific idea, good on you. As you say, it would be good to keep the group going … I've checked it out, it looks very promising.
Congratulations, Anne and Graham ! Well done, both of you.
I've really enjoyed catching up ob reading the ku on the threads. Loved your very funny 'cherry blossoms' posts in relation to your sisters, Joseph.
…and there are some really excellent, wonderfully resonant ku on the thread which would 'stand alone' as haiku. In some ways, it's pity that because 'haikunauts' is a public blog, these would be considered 'published' by most haiku publications I know of. But of course they are available for anthologies and for any journal that doesn't require previously unpublished haiku. A change to one line though would technically make a new, unpublished haiku, available for submission anywhere.
Ashley…thank you for setting up a place for us to contact. I'm so happy to have stumbled across 'haikunauts', and would love to be involved in further rengas with Keiji, you and everyone else who's participated in this renga. I've so enjoyed it!
I noted Keiji's:
“If you (everyone!) would like to take up a challenge, post ku with cherry blossoms
or some culturely important blossoms in your country!”
…and have been reading, wondering why, with so many Australians involved, that no wattle blossom ku has turned up yet. Yes, Barbara was close with 'acacia', but South Africa also has species of acacia [not as many] but they don't call them 'wattle'.
My haiku of the day will probably come from a very composed, dapper,unflappable mudlark I saw perched on a back windscreen wiper of a very clean and flash car parked in Sydney Rd. today. Not one bit concerned that I stopped right next to it & talked to it. The owners would've needed to use those windscreen wipers when they returned
I like ones by Genevieve – froth of gum blossom; and Origa – garden lilac. Nice.
Perhaps not the sort of one to end a renga on, but anyway
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow (Graham Nunn)
a garbage bin
contemplates enlightenment
a blossom gently flutters
Hi all,
I love lots of these blossom ku. I am inclined to just enjoy everyone else's offerings for these last two having one so close to the end of the renga. But I hope someone takes up Lorin's challenge to write about wattle explicitly.
Thanks, Ashley, for looking ahead. This has been such a great collaborative creative process. I will look at the site tomorrow. Bedtime now!
Thanks everyone! Hope it ends up as fun as this! Joeseph, it's pretty much up and running, so jump over if you like
And Keiji and David, you're both very, very welcome if you have the time, to come with us when we wrap up here 
In fact, I'd love some expert advice!
Joseph, the 'sun sinks behind' is fantastic, perhaps a perfect closer to the whole renga?
And Origa, the rabbit ku is great, a real ambiguous one, often the best kind!
And Vasile's bee and Anne's nanna, so many to mention!
The last:
no blossom
in my orchard…
only a bee
(Vasile Moldovan)
Thanks for noticing my lilac, dear Greg!
My third try:
the rabbit
nibbling on my tulips
fat enough
Keiji, may I ask you, do you know of a good english translation (apart from the ones on your site) of Watanabe, Hakusen? And whether it is available in book-form? I read up a little on him after reading your notes here, and then at your site, and it's just amazing how powerful the haiku are, would really love to get a whole book worth of his work.
Ashley
Hi everybody – what wonderful ku on the board already – too many to make individual comments but WOW -congratulations all – Ashley that's good news re a site – will certainly check in – I too have chosen blossoms important to me – Lorin I have written about wattle and some other Australian blossoms but unfortunately in keeping with the rules, the limit is 3 at this time – so mine concern blossoms in recent settings in my life
to follow Graham's 'morning meditation/a crow disrupts my shadow'
at dusk
jasmine climbs
the immense universe
you ask for peace
I give you next door's
magnolia tree
honeysuckles
adorn the scrub
a fairy-wren hardly seen
Thank you Greg for your comment.
Last one:
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow (Graham Nunn)
lorikeets – raucous
on a wattle
trapeze
I feel a bit outnumbered by you “down under' blokes-or is it just that I'm “over the top”? Therefore:
This flag-eatin' mom's apple pie wavin' cowboy says I likes Vasile's 'no blossom in my
orchard-only a bee' for its austere hopefulness; it matches the zen of Graham's ku fairly well, I think.
Genevieve's raucous lorikeets cannot be denied however-beautiful and exotic, and just a throw away nod to the blossom without being cliched-very upbeat.
It's been a blast, guys. Click on my handle and stop by the moon viewing party this week; I'd love to hear from you all again.
morning meditation
a crow disrupts my shadow (Graham Nunn)
refuge from mosquitoes
warm bath
with orange blossoms
Nice job, Vasile! Love the solitary bee. And Origa, what a gorgeous line “fat enough!” And Sandra, so good, your moving, “a week past midwinter–.” Chills.
Thanks, Ashley for the info on issasnail (love the title)! Is it up and running?
Here are two more submissions for this penultimate renga. Despite the wattle, I am sticking with tulips (which bloom in abundance here in Southern Vermont).
the sun sinks
behind the college
the tulips close
or: maybe this one leaves some doors open for the very last ku?
sinking of the sun
the tulips close
a knock on my door
this may not fit, but I like the images:
I skate
through wildflowers
the phone rings
Hi Ashley,
Just looked at your new renku(renga) site — it's lovely. So glad you used the beautiful “wood smoke and feathers” ku to begin.
Hi all,
Back here, I like your “I skate” ku, Joseph; and Genevieve's “lorikeets”; Greg's waiting rosebud and contemplative garbage bin;
and, Rhonda, I love your “at dusk/jasmine climbs/the immense universe” and Origa, your “garden lilac/unfurling at the tempo/of its fragrance” seems perfect to me;
also like bandit's “blossom cool” and Sandra's “our first kiss”… and so many others.
Another try:
in the heavy mud
petals of cherry blossoms -
lone pilgrim
Thanks, Lorin! It is a bit of a nod to Pound, isn't it? Wish I'd been able to do something as good as that one though!
Ashley, your site is a lovely idea and it looks great.
Thank you bandit and Anne for your comments.
Yes, so many to mention – I like Sandra's 'a first kiss', Greg's 'a late pink rosebud', bandit's 'Godzilla' and 'blossom cool', Ashley's 'platform – covered in blossoms', Origa's 'rabbit', Joseph's 'tulips/please the sky' and 'sinking of the sun' and Rhonda's 'at dusk' and 'you ask for peace/I give you next door's/magnolia tree'.
Hi, guys. I am certainly very far from being a 'master' but thank you for your words!
I like the following two about flowery scents:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
intoxicating
scents of daytura
in tubular bells (Barbara A Taylor)
Okay, let me choose Origa's. It has a gentle sense of Baudelairian correspondences. I really like Barbara's mysterious scents of datura too… Either would work great after Graham's theme of meditation!
(To Origa: Can I add 'a' before the word 'belly' in your first ku, like 'small business / the pub owner strokes / a huge belly,' following Lorin's suggestion?)
Among other offerings, I like
no blossom
in my orchard -
only a bee (Vasile Moldovan)
It is a great haiku rending of Emily Dickinson's short poem: 'To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee, – / One clover, and a bee, / And revery. / The revery alone will do / If bees are few.'
at dusk
jasmine climbs
the immense universe (Rhonda Poholke)
is also nice, with its surprising leap to a big, almost metaphysical motif. As for wattles, thank you Genevieve for your very Australian
lorikeets – raucous
on a wattle
trapeze (Genevieve Osborne)
Here is one by me:
in your garden
wattles remind me
of your pain (Keiji)
*
Ashley, I am really glad to hear you've started up your own renga blog! I'm sure it is going well with good writers who will immigrate from our island and other friends of yours (and I will join in too!). (As for Watanabe Hakusen, I also found only bits and pieces of his works on the web – I believe no book in English has been published on him. He is a very special haijin who most successfully dealt with war themes and surely worth studying. I'll add more of my translation of his ku on my website sometime soon.)
I really hope our renga will be followed by other attempts. We can try many styles, rules (or maybe no rules!), and lengths. Of course there are already other attempts including bandit and his friends – (you can jump to his blog by clicking his name in his comments above) you can consult.
Mmm, how about a multi-language renga? It would be tough for translators, though.
*
All right, the next one is the last!
hey, bandit
… why feel outnumbered by 'down-under' blokes when there's only two?
Mind you, there are quite a few of us 'down-under ' women involved in this renga…both Aussies and Kiwis.
Pleased to see your links to Adelaide Shaw's wonderful haiku and Bill Kenney's [whom I'm lucky enough to regard as a friend, though we've not met face to face]
I have to agree with you that Vasile's 'no blossom' ku and Genevieve's 'lorikeets' ku are outstanding. I would add Ashley's 'platform/ hiss of steam', for its sense of immanent departure, and also for [perhaps] an allusion to Ezra Pound's much-anthologised 'In a Station of the Metro'.
..though of course, bandit, I find nothing 'exotic' about Genevieve's lorikeets or wattle. Try me with a red-winged blackbird and sumac or black walnut for exotic, though
Exotic for some is the commonplace norm for others. I'm thoroughly enjoying the learning involved in international haiku [& related...the general haikai genre] and am delighted to have found Keiji's renga. I like his way of teaching, and would love to be involved in more, with Keiji as 'renga master'. I have the feeling I would learn a lot, gradually, in my slow way.
So much happen while I sleep! There are so many great ku's here…I really like Origa's rabbit and lilac, Greg's rose, and Vasile's bee…so many others too. I want to enter a couple before Keiji closes………
crickets sings
cherry blossoms whisper
sping jubilee
sheep graze
beneath cherry blossoms
unsuspecting buzz
oops I meant…
crickets sing
cherry blossoms whisper
spring jubilee
whoops, bandit…I meant 3 Australian blokes! For a moment, I forgot our host
… forgive me, David.
Wow, thank you, Keiji — I'm thrilled! The lilac is blossoming right now in my garden, two different sorts in 4 different locations around the house. I already watch the bees and first butterflies flittering about!
Yes, you may add the “a” to that ku as we agreed — thanks again for choosing it!
What a wonderful experience for me, it's my very first real renga, and such a nice one! Thank you all, dear friends, you are all wonderful poets and teachers
As I said, I will translate all the renga poems in Russian, and with your permission, post it in my LJ — some time in the end of the month. I will invite you all to read it.
I love this choice, Keiji.
Congratulations, Origa, on a beautiful ku.
It's hard to believe we are so close to the end. It will be wonderful to read the whole renga through when it is complete.
I second Anne, I love this choice. Congratulations Origa, it's a truly beautiful ku.
And thank you Keiji for your comment on my lorikeet/wattle ku. The lorikeets spend a lot of time in the banksias in our garden – doing acrobatics with ease, much to the indignation of our Airedale terrier.
I agree! I thought Origa had several good ku's this selection. I also liked her fat rabbit! Way to go, Origa! I find it hard to believe the renga is coming to an end, and I only joined during the second part! Time for me to give the ending a go….
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
L'estro armonico
monarch migrates home
Aldia, I like your “L'estro armonico/monarch migrates home” and Vasile your “the unseen landlord/is drawing the blinds” and bandit your “admiring dandelions/in these cultured gardens”.
Just for fun, in case they spark something for someone else:
coming home -
three grains of feed and a goldfish
packing up for today – the busker
pockets three coins for the ferryman
at last poor Oedipus
unravels the riddle
trees scented purple
lilac color burns
magic breese gardens
butterfly flutters
pollen coated wings
g'day all
thanks for making this an intriguing journey. Thank you to Cordite and to Keiji
for the possibilities. I've enjoyed all the ku. Partings are such sweet sorrow. Perhaps, we will, as Vera says, meet again, one sunny day:)
This is a lovely ku Origa.
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
taking her last bow
under confetti showers
or
now, she's in the mood
for whatever comes next
or
a delightful finale
on her cute baby bi-chord
Hi Origa – what a magic ku – can just smell its scent – congratulations
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance
(Origa)
sleeping with the open window
the first dream of spring
or
a girl with a flower in her hair
is closing slowly the gateway
or
the unseen landlord
is drawing the blinds
(Vasile Moldovan)
Congratulation, Origa! Beautiful flower, beautiful haiku.
Keiji San, thank you for your coment and because I reminded me of Emily Dickinson's wonderful poem.
Thank you lorin too for your comments. I agree that being involved in international haiku with Keiji as 'renga master' has been a wonderful experience and I would love to be involved in one or more again.
So at this stage I would like to say thank you Keiji for all your work and guidance and thank you David Prater and Cordite for a truly triple A experience – Genevieve O.
Yes Origa – well-deserved! It's beautiful.
– Two on the subject of another australian little animal:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
one muttonbird gene -
ten thousand miles
and
all the muttonbirds decide
to sail beyond the northern stars
Congratulation, Origa … it is a lovely ku and fits very well with Graham's.
Keiji… 'reverie alone will do/ if bees are few'. She's right, isn't she? Emily Dickenson is a great favourite of mine.
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance
(Origa)
admiring dandelions
in the cultured gardens
as soon as I clear my throat, another voice emotes:
admiring dandelions
in these cultured gardens
pardon, please.
…and my hat off to you, Lorin; I've been negligent in my reading.
Yes, Adelaide's eloquence and poise…ahhh.
Bill has helped me grow, in workshop and by example. I'm about knee-high to a grasshopper now.
I discover new poets almost everyday. New to me anyway.
I've only just begun this long journey; I'll try to keep up.
Keiji, you have been a marvelous guide-my thanks.
Cheers and respect to you all.
Hi Keiji – but you have been a wonderful 'renga master' – leading us everywhere – when I think back to my coming in to this renga at, I think, the second , to use Gen's phrase – 'topsy-turvey' – I didn't know what I was doing – then suddenly your gentle mastery had me on the renga path writing in unison with all these other wonderful writers – all writing apart but together – and that was the miracle for me – that we were/are able to support each other – well that's how I see it anyway – and thank you Keiji for your comment on my 'immense universe' ku – also, I had no idea haiku was so 'big' around the world – Sandra's lovely site – and the new site Lorin's informed us of – and now Ashley's site – and there many other things mentioned too which escape me – the hippo poet and so much – sorry raving on again -
Dear Keiji,
Let me second Rhonda's comments. Thank you so much for your wonderful guidance through this renga, your gentle teaching, and your keen ear and eye. I was very new to all this, and of course, still am. Like Rhonda, I loved the collaborative process. So, thank you to everyone who has contributed with ku and comments. The group has had a lovely feel to it and it has been a wonderful learning experience.
…and I would also like to say that it has been a pleasure working with such skilled and experienced haiku writers – as you clearly all are. I haven't really written haiku before and I have so enjoyed it.
Hi all,
We've got that end of term feeling, haven't we? Like the others, Keiji, my thanks to you for your careful shepherding of us all through this renga. It will be a sight to behold in just a few more short hours.
Great ku Origa, a beautiful rhythm.
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance
(Origa)
jumping the fence with me
the skylark's song
Nice job, Origa! Well, I hate to see this renga end. Keiji, will you eventually put the entire piece into print?
Here are two that I wish to offer closure and hope with:
stardust kisses
tomorrow, tomorrow
or:
the garden blooms
despite the night
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
there – the magpie is warbling
and line by line the morning is complete
or perhaps:
there – the magpie is warbling
and line by line the evening is complete
Dear All, I've just seen the 'youtube koala' on the news – he's making a good recovery from his bushfire injuries
Yes, thank you so much, Keiji, you've really kept everything going and kept us on the right path! I'd be honoured if you'd jump over to visit Issa's Snail when you can, and contribute!
And that goes for everyone else here
Would love to keep this spirit alive!
Just one try from me:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
even our small steps
the ring of thunder
another one:
do you get all of a tremble she said
when a good book ends?
Hi everyone,
I just want to say that I have been completely blown away by the outstanding ku, the enthusiasm and good will…
This has to be one of the greatest collaborative projects I have ever witnessed and feel blessed to have discovered it and been a part of it.
Here's a crack at a final link.
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
the path home
reclaimed by spinifex (Graham Nunn)
Thank you all again,
Graham
While I was out I realised that my two offerings manage to link very successfully back to Graham's. Haha! Oh well, back to the drawing board …
Keiji, if I were a rich fellow, I'd fund a book length translation!
Even the few translations I've seen on your site (which are great, can't wait for more) give me a feeling of certainty – Watanabe Hakusen is worth further study.
I really found his work striking, moving, all the good things you want from haiku, and the social/wartime aspect is very interesting, it must have been a powerful change in tradition?
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
smell of crushed grass
springs back into a memory
or
the river followed to its source
the sea
And I too am feeling a bit sad that our collaboration is about to finish, it's been great working with all you guys, I've learned a lot, and thank you again Keiji for your very expert guidance and encouragement. I look forward to sitting down and seeing the whole 'mandala'. Cheers
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance – (origa)
our postman arrives -
pitter-patter tin drum.
Morning All!
Genevieve, I love “do you get all of a tremble/when a good book ends?” Just wonderful!
Here's one more from me:
break the staff
but preserve the book
Greg, i really like “the river followed to its source/the sea, and Anne's “Oedipus/
unravels the riddle”. Genevieve, I too have just started writing haiku, and feel a little self-consiuos eveytime I enter a ku in such outstanding company! I have had a wonderful time and will miss the learning experience! Thank you everyone, and especially Keiji for choosing one of mine!
now, here's another go at the final ku:
prose tenderly transmitted
into the wild blue yonder
Joseph, thank you – and perhaps I should leave out the 'she said' as you have…
so another go at that one:
do you get all of a tremble
when a good book ends?
here's a better version i think:
poesy transmitted
into the wild blue yonder
Hi Aldia, Yes the learning experience with Keiji, and all of you, has been so good – I will miss it too.
I like your 'poesy transmitted/into the wild blue yonder' (although I did like the word 'tenderly' in the first version) – and 'L'estro armonico/monarch migrates home' – and I've been playing Vivaldi all morning – beautiful.
I also like bandit's 'admiring dandelions/in these cultured gardens', Anne's 'packing up for today', Sandra's 'jumping the fence with me', Ashley's 'even our small steps', Graham's 'the path home' and Greg's 'the smell of crushed grass/springs back into a memory'.
I think this might be better for the magpie:
a magpie warbles – and line by line
the morning is complete
whoops! Sorry, Greg…Bandit, make that four Aussie blokes.
Thanks to a hand truck and the help of Sam Han, whose father does traditional Chinese brush painting and calligraphy poems back in Shanghai, my computer problems are fixed and I'm able to acces 'haikunauts' again.
Many lovely ku here, but I'm rather drawn to Sandra's exuberant and allusive:
jumping the fence with me
the skylark's song
and Graham's:
the path home
reclaimed by spinifex
[I'm assuming Graham means the true spinifex, whose roots bind sand and sandy soil]
ps … May 15th is the deadline for haiku submissions to the new journal, 'Notes From the Gean'. Please send your submissions [up to 10 haiku] all in the one email.
cheers,
Lorin
one more then, while I'm alert tonight…though it's hard to match Origa's
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
just enough green
to remember spring
Thinking about lilacs and fragrance and what we take away with us:
from the bloom
I carry a sprig
kookaburra bray
silences the other birds
welcoming the day
heron tall on log
rapier swift the silhouette
goodbye wary frog
pelican gliding
black and white in perfect flight
comical landing
Thank you Keiji and all for the wonderful experience of being part of this renga creation process! Some offerings for the final ku:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
a barefoot dance
etching the senses
or
barefoot dance etching
the senses into life
or
one last flake of fancy
the knapper steps back
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
the last word on the last page -
how quickly the snail travels!
Hi, everyone. I'd like to thank you all the contributors and readers to make
this a wonderful journey, above all, for me. I have learned so many things,
and had lots of pleasure reading all the great ku! Well, renga is really
a mysterious, vital art form, don't you agree? I am planning to get into
the world of this linked poetry.
All right, I have to choose the last ku – As you can see, we have so many
beautiful lines (as always!):
smell of crushed grass
springs back into a memory (Greg Rochlin)
sleeping with the open window
the first dream of spring (Vasile Moldovan)
a sunlit prism
Ode to Joy (Aldia)
barefoot dance etching
the senses into life (Fleur)
jumping the fence with me
the skylark's song (Sandra Simpson)
I love these (and there are several other superb ku, of course). I am glad
to see many in this round refer to light or brightness in different ways.
At the end point we still have this much variety. It's surprising.
Either of these verses would be a great closing ku, I'm sure.
However, I'd like to finish our renga in a lighter tone, avoiding a grand finale.
For that purpose, it seems to me that Michael's next ku is best:
our postman arrives -
pitter-patter tin drum (Michael Roper)
This ku successfully shows brightness ahead in a daily scene. The letter the
postman carried to us may be inviting us to a new experience!
(I'd like to drop the period in the end, for the consistency of our renga.
Is it okay, Michael?)
Oh, it's finished now? Really? As everyone wrote, I hope we'll meet
somewhere soon (I'll surely visit Ashley's Issa's Snail). Thank you all again
& thank you Davey and Cordite for all this invaluable experience.
Au revoir!
one more:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
putting buttons in the button tin
for later
Hi everyone – so many of these I like – too many to go through – but what the hec I will – 'how quickly the snail travels' – lovely Sandra '….etching/the senses of life' – lovely too Fleur – Longte 'goodbye wary frog – I like, as I do Joseph's 'from the bloom/I carry a sprig' and Gen I like your '…tremble/when a good book ends?' and your 'magpie – I had maggies at work this morning, right under my nose – and Greg 'smell of crushed grass' – yes, nice and Graham's 'the path home' and Barbara 'taking her last bow/under confetti showers'- lovely – and Anne I very much like your 'coming home' and bandit 'admiring dandelions' I do like – so many that I've not commented on too I like
Hi Genevieve – I saw the 'utube koala' too on the news, looking pretty fit for what he's gone through – and in my town, in our artists window, we have the 'paintbrush koala' now
Here are my last contributions to this renga -
my flashing camera
catches the dingo's sigh
this gentle stream
nearly to our lake
Uluru dreaming–
the spread of her wings
Hi Rhonda, I very much like your 'this gentle stream/nearly to our lake' and 'Uluru dreaming/the spread of her wings'.
Thank you for your comments on my 'tremble' and 'magpie'. Yes I think the 'utube koala' will remain famous for some time.
Fleur, I also very much like your 'a barefoot dance/etching the senses' – wonderful. I think it puts the finger exactly on what we've all been doing here.
…I've just seen that teeny-tiny smiley face at the bottom of the Cordite page! That's so nice
– a very big smile to David and Cordite and Keiji! and thank you all again.
Hi Keiji – can I change my Uluru ku to this?
Uluru eclipse -
she dreams of spreading her wings
Hi, Genevieve~ I too like you revision on “tremble/when a good book ends”. I think it was too long and you didn't need “she said” anyway. I left out tenderly, in my revision of posey transmitted/into the wild blue yonder because i thought it was too long…..My other ku was inspired by Vivaldi and my four daughters. My daughters went to our local graded school which has a wonderful string program, and they took violin lessons in elemtary school. One of my daughters wants to play again, amd I hope she will…..I miss the instrument playing in the house….very different from the drums, which has been the latest faze by the youngest, who is 13. In keeping with the “tempo” , one last try:
garden lilac
unfurling at the tempo
of its fragrance (Origa)
a sunlit prism
Ode to Joy
Hi renga friends, thank you all for your kind words about my ku, I appreciate it very much! Like everybody else, I feel some sadness that this fascinating experience is almost over… and I also very much hope that we could write another renga together, one day!
Couldn't reply earlier because I was finishing my haiku contest — now the results are posted (you may read all the winning haiku and my analyses, if you are interested, here: http://origa.livejournal.com/160399.html )
Thank you, Keiji, David, and all renga-ists, for all this fun and learning experience! And I hope it's okay if I post last ku, for all of you with warmest regards and admiration:
coiled up inside a bush
the snake made itself small
I must say I like Vasile's 'sleeping with the open window/the first dream of spring' and its optimism.
Congratulations Michael – a lovely ku – a nice ending – and all the best to you Keiji and to David and others at Cordite – and everyone else – all the writers who took part in this renga, may the verse be with you
Yes, congratulations Michael, it's a lovely way to end – and best wishes to everyone.
Congratulations, Michael… an interesting and ambiguous ending to the renga.
Like others, I've found the experience of participating in Keiji's renga exhilarating and refreshing and look forward to more renga.
Many thanks to you, Keiji and also David 'haiku guy', and our host, David Prater [Cordite] I'm still a little unsure who is David and who is Davey! Also of course, my thanks to everyone who has joined in, offering their ku and their comments and contributing to the friendly communal atmosphere. A delight to meet you all in this way!
g'day Keiji
I think Michael's ending is most appropriate and offers up more possibilities.
I was wondering what shall we do about a title for this renga?
Thanks again to everyone involved with the journey.
Already, missing the fun of it all.
Peace and Love
Congrats, Michael, a perfect ending!
And thanks again, Keiji, and to all at Cordite who let us play here, it was amazing, I feel happy and lucky to have been involved
Barbara, I think the title is usually taken from the first ku?
Ashley
Thank you Keiji, David, and David (Cordite) for this wonderful renga moment over the past months. There's a poignancy to its coming to a close.
Nice way to end, Michael. Congratulations!
Thanks to everyone else. It's been great to meet you here.
Anne (:
Still not sure how to make the smiley face appear – maybe
Got it! By all, and thanks again.
Yes, well done Michael – a musical, resonating ending.
So, au revoir!
Have just got back and comments are still open – so just a few more words.
All morning have been hearing Michael's tin drum – with whistles and music – as though we're all in a happy parade – celebrating this experience. Thank you again Keiji, David Prater and Cordite – I too feel lucky to have been a part of it.
Maybe Cordite will do another – one day. That would be so good!
Bye to everyone and all best wishes, Genevieve.
Dear Haikunauts,
Well, here we are – I can't believe we've finally made it to the conclusion of Haikunaut Island Renga! I'm simply overwhelmed by the response to this experiment, and want to send out super props to our Renga Master, Keiji for his dedication and creative ku selections! We'll be closing the comments on this post now, but I've just put up another post with some thoughts on future possibilities – as ever, your comments are welcome!
Davey aka David Prater aka Cordite Ed